Is She Ignoring You? Here’s What To Do:

chick

Is she ignoring you? Here’s what to do.

BE BETTER.

Are you really the best version of yourself that you could possibly be? Are you?

If so, then fantastic. I salute you! If she ignores you, then forget her. She doesn’t get you and that probably means the problem is her. Nothing you can do about it. Forget her and move on. There are a million other girls and you are a man of options… aren’t you.

If NOT….. then get your shit together!

It starts with the basics. Get your money straight, get your health straight, get your self care straight, get your look straight, get your pad straight, get your car fixed, get fit, get out of debt.

Have you honestly done all those things?

If you want to fuck someone, start by being someone worth fucking.

Fix yourself up, man of God. 😉 Put YOURSELF first. Put YOURSELF back on that pedestal. Nothing to do with her.

Stride out of your front door in the morning with a purpose, with a smile and with a new shirt.

Stop chasing after girls on social media. Stop supplicating and acting nice in the hope that she will see what a good guy you are. Stop that. You have more important things to do.

Even more so… Stop giving money and gifts to girls. Especially some girl on the internet you are NOT having an actual real life not-on-the-internet relationship with. Internet “relationships” do not count. Stop it. Your money is for YOU. You buying some chick gifts and new clothes? You better not be! That money is for YOU. Your money you earned with YOUR hard work and YOUR skills. Women want equality… so let them pay their own way just like you pay yours.

Don’t get hung up on some girl. Any girl. It’s not worth it, trust me. Put all your energy into YOU. Your self improvement. Your path. Your career. Your dreams.

Girls are not your dreams. Girls are a BONUS you get from life when you are living your dreams. Soon as you chase the girl instead of your dreams, you stop chasing your dreams and you lose the girl as well as your dreams!!!!

Now get cracking.

Enjoy The Ride

“It’s Just A Ride” – Bill Hicks

The old school pimps used to have a saying to keep their feelings in check and give them perspective when dealing with their girls. “Ho’s come and go, cop and blow”.

Now what does this mean and how is it relevant to you square players? 😉

Essentially it means that, a woman is a woman and she could do anything at any time for any reason or for no reason at all. She could literally be gone tomorrow. You might realistically never see her again. This is of course a stone cold fact. And so, you temper your expectations and get on with your life.

You should aim to reach the point where you are absolutely 100% unruffled if a girl you are dating blows you out. Who cares, seriously? If someone cares about you, then care about them. But if they don’t care about you and demonstrate that, why should you continue to care about them? The only thing you lost is someone who doesn’t love you, and that is no loss at all! Like buses, another one will be along in 5 minutes… especially if you are chill and carefree. And besides – you have an amazing life to be getting on with anyway… don’t you…? You damn well should have and if not, you better fix that first! Because it is YOUR life that you should be inviting her along for the ride with. You don’t change and mold your life around her – unless you are crazy – because the more you do that, the more you will smother her and the more she will retreat… until you finally make a lunge to try to keep her…. and she runs away.

You don’t look to a woman to “complete” you. Complete yourself and invite her along for the ride, if she desires it. Don’t put yourself in a compromised position where you are reliant on her for your happiness. Because this, specifically, is what will get you dumped. She will test you, oh she will, to see if you have real strength, to see if you are secure in yourself. It is a funny paradox but true. The less affected you are by her, the more you are “happy anyway”, the less you need her… the more she wants and admires you. She doesn’t want you to be ‘weak for her’. She wants you to be strong so that she can be weak for you.

Live as though she is not central to your life. You already have your center and she is just a bonus. This is sensible. And when it comes to dating, don’t go so far out of your way because of her that you are not living the life you want, that it would be inconvenient if she did not show up. Don’t let them get to you that way. Any chick could blow you out at any time, so even if you are traveling to meet her – have a backup plan; something interesting or constructive to be doing.

Getting overly fixated happens when you are not confident of your ability to do just as well next time around. Or when you start thinking that she is some kind of special bird that you need to try to hang on to.

No she is not and no you fucking do not.

It does not matter if her thighs are made of silk and her bosom perfectly shaped by Aphrodite from the costliest alabaster. It does not matter how well she sucks your cock. There are plenty of other fantastic women out there.

Enjoy the ride.

It does not matter how adoringly she gazes at you (she only does this because of what you are doing for HER… and the moment you stop fulfilling HER ideals she will stop looking at you that way I promise you!)

Enjoy the ride.

She is not “the one”. She is “just a woman”. And there are fucking millions of them. Stop giving a shit, pimp! Cop and blow. Breath in her feminine scent, enjoy her curves, marvel at this wonderful gift that nature has managed to fashion from stardust, laugh… and let it go. This is fun… remember? Imagine her as an elemental – a force of nature, subject to mysterious flows and currents that flow through her and carry her wherever they will.

All of what she says, applies only to that moment. So when she looks at you adoringly and says “I want you forever”… do NOT take that literally, because that is only how she feels right now. She wants that to be continually reinforced in a sequence of unending present moments. She wants to have that feeling of “I want you forever” tomorrow, but don’t take it literally! It is all about feelings, not logic. She does NOT want to have to adhere to something that she felt yesterday; she wants to feel it all over again today. It was an expression of momentary sentiment, not a contract. The past is gone – especially for her.

Do not even try to analyze her motives. Don’t waste your time on that shit! If you can learn and improve from her blowing you out, do so… but it might not be anything to do with you at all and you are most likely better off not trying to analyze the kitten-basket of her mind. Women do all kinds of things for all kinds of reasons and if you have been paying attention, you will quickly note that – just as with men – not all of those reasons are good, and not all of them make any sense at all. Oh, women love the freedom that “women’s lib” has given them but with freedom comes the fact that they are now not only free to do awesome things but also free to make all the astonishing mistakes that they were being protected from making before.

Sorry but it is true. I see women – like men – making the most spectacularly terrible decisions. Ask them if they are a “sapiosexual” – attracted to high intelligence – and they will say “Oh yes, that is definitely me”. But then watch her choose the loser who just got out of prison who chokes her, hits her around, knocks her up and then leaves. I have just seen it with my own two eyes… many times.

You might be having an amazing, sexual, passionate, loving, wonderful relationship with a woman. But you are far better to assume that the ride could be over tomorrow, because it could. She could be gone any time. And if it stops being fun, it’s time to move on.

Enjoy the ride, and when the ride stops, jump out, say “That was cool! What’s next?”

That, and don’t get married.

Don’t Ever Chase

Women are a reward from life for living awesomely and being the best version of yourself you can be.

Don’t ever chase.

Mystery originally named this idea “Cat string theory”: When you chase the cat it runs away, but if you pull the string away from it, it chases after the string. It’s like that.

When you truly reach a place of abundance and freedom from outcome, when you are living in such a way that rejection does not matter in the least – because you have an awesome life to be getting on with anyway – then you will have that quality that women like.

Trust me, when you are high value, they will chase you. Ever seen female fans screaming and needing steel barriers when their favourite rock star is leaving the building? And trust me, it is not just his autograph that they want.

When you are really on point, you will be amazed at what women will do for you. A woman dreams of finding a man who makes her crave to surrender to him and let him take her.

There is only one way to do this.

Focus on self improvement.

It is a weird paradox, trust me. But it is true. You chase and you chase and they all run away and finally you get it and realize that you have to cure yourself of being the bitch, so you work on yourself. And the very fucking moment that you finally say “I am actually unavailable now, I have too much shit to do to be even thinking about girls”…….

… they appear. The hot ones.

The polarity has reversed. Being permanently available signals that she is the best thing you have going in your life, which subcommunicates that maybe you don’t even deserve her. If your life was that awesome she would have to work and be her best to get a piece of you, and would feel some uncertainty as to whether you are “in the bag”.

I have been at festivals where the ridiculously hot girl gave me the slip all damn weekend, then right at the moment when I had an INSANE task of teardown to do (I was on the crew) and under mega pressure, filthy, fighting a ridiculous load of 300 pound amplifier racks and knowing that it was going to be 110 degrees tomorrow and that if we didn’t get it all done tonight we were going to suffer tomorrow like hell…..

RIGHT at that moment when I was like “I have no more damn time to even THINK about girls any more” she appears and literally rugby tackles me, trying to drag me off to fuck her. And the more I tried to push her away because I had more important things to do than be waylaid by the likes of her, the more she chased.

True story. Cat string theory proven true once again.

A woman does not actually want a man following her around, a man who is weak for her. Unless he is a provider, in which case she will tolerate him.

She wants a man she has to win over. A man who has his own vision, his own path. Whatever your journey through life – if you live as a warrior, fighting on the edge of time against darkness, despair and the universe that wants to tear us apart… then she will want you. It is primal. We live in a savage universe and she is hard wired to seek the best mate she can find. One who also will not just settle for anything second rate from her. But who will have standards and only accept her best, being totally willing to push her away if she disrespects or does not treat her man well.

You will feel it when it clicks in. It is like the poles of a magnet being reversed. Instead of repelling, you attract. To begin with, like learning to surf, you will have a few seconds on the wave before you fall off. But you keep going and you get better. And knowing that it works will cause you to chill out and be more confident, which amplifies the effect even further. Knowing that you are enough and noticing women sparking and connecting with your vibe is a great thing. Keep a close eye out for it – they are pros at making it look as though they are not noticing you. It is so quick that men who are less experienced will not even catch it. It’s fun when you catch them checking you out and is something you can riff on.

Women sense the direction of the poles of the magnet. If you are chasing, they will withdraw. Lean back. Relax. Let her come to you.

When you are really getting it right, women will start hitting on you. Bolder ones will open you. Other times you might think “why is this girl standing next to me”. It’s no accident. If she is standing closer to you than any other man in the club, and she positioned herself there deliberately, she is probably waiting for you to open her. Or she will make some “plausible” reason to ask you a question. In clubs, women normally are on the run from all kinds of dudes following them around. They get good at it. They don’t give guys an opportunity to open them unless they want to be opened. If you have been sized up and are in the crosshairs, she may dance with her girly friends right close to you and they will put on a “show” – acting flamboyant, preening. It is primal. Instinctive. I have pulled in clubs just by standing there leaning back and taking in the dance floor. Looking comfortable and like I don’t give a shit if I pull or not; unlike the ‘thirsty’ guys who she is trying to get away from. They came to the club because they needed something. Trying to get something from her. This repels her. The man she is attracted to is already complete. He does not ‘need’ her in order for his life to be awesome. His life is already awesome whether she is in it or not. That is not to say that he doesn’t like women. He loves women.

But he knows that Women are a reward from life for living awesomely and being the best version of yourself you can be.

Live your best life and stop chasing women in a needy way. Live your adventure. By all means, go out and meet women. Have fun with them. Be playful, light, unattached. Don’t weird them out. Allow them the opportunity to experience you if they desire it, and take note of who shows up. The rewards shall be in proportion to your awesomeness.

Dealing With Rejection

Most men are afraid of interacting with women because of the fear of rejection. This fear is real, huge and can be a massive roadblock, probably the biggest roadblock of all for most. And so they freeze up, don’t approach, don’t say anything, and then even when they do, they are playing not to lose instead of playing to win.

Here’s how to fix it.

Let’s say you meet an attractive looking girl and strike up a conversation with her.. and you just get nothing from her. No interest whatsoever. She may smile politely and make conversation but there are no indicators of interest. Eyes wandering. Flatliner.

Should you be bummed out?

Guys who are not very advanced in the game will be down in the dumps. They had some hopes pinned on it. Hopes that they were going to get something from this girl. That her presence in their life might in some way improve their life.

It shouldn’t affect you.

Ask yourself this: Are you already doing everything in your life that you should be doing FOR YOU? Are you already being all that you can be, for you? Do you like yourself? Is your life awesome? If so, then other people’s opinions of you are invalid. They literally do not matter. If your daily focus is on being the best version of yourself you can possibly be and living the best life you can live – then whether or not some random chick you do not even know approved of you is utterly inconsequential.

If you are thinking that your life is going to change miraculously into paradise because of some girl, you are letting yourself down because YOU should be the one responsible for steering your ship to paradise island. That’s where you are going; girls are welcome to come along for the ride – and they will, if you are on course – but don’t let her steer the ship of your happiness because the moment you do that, she will run it into the rocks and you will be shipwrecked, captain!

You should NEVER look to a girl to make your crappy life awesome, to rescue you from your misery. Because that is SUPER unattractive to girls. It should be the other way round. YOU should be the one with the awesome life. And then girls will see your awesome life and think “I better be nice to him because if I won’t some other girl will because he is awesome.” And then all of a sudden it is ALL different. Whereas before you were a NEEDY BITCH who felt like your life was incomplete without HER (whoever she is), you are now overflowing because you have worked hard to make your life awesome. You will radiate. And THAT radiance is what women like. You will be UNATTACHED and will have what is called FREEDOM FROM OUTCOME. You cannot fake it. She will sniff you out. Don’t even try to break this rule.

Feminine approval should not matter to you in the slightest, because you are already being your most awesome self. And you are doing it for you, not for them, anyway. Some will, some won’t, so what?

Of course that does not mean that you should not make any effort to be attractive. You should make every effort to be attractive. But one girl is just one girl. There are millions. If she is not bright enough to see your awesomeness, then are you sure you really want her anyway? A girl is a girl, which means who the hell knows what she is going to approve of anyway? Her mood is as unfathomable as the ocean – even to her, let alone to you! So enjoy the ride. It is a mistake to put yourself at the mercy of someone else’s whims.

You should be self-evaluating and scoring yourself on how well you are doing in your life. Nobody else’s opinion on that matters unless they are a trusted mentor, who you are actually asking to point out where you can improve. Everyone else can fuck themselves. So long as you are not harming anyone or breaking laws then nobody has the right to tell you how to live your life… and their rejection is irrelevant. You have awesome things to be getting on with anyway, don’t you? If there are no more girls worth approaching in the immediate vicinity, go home and get on with your great life! It really is no loss whatsoever. Another day will come, other girls will come and then when they arrive, you will be even more awesome than you are now.

You should not be trying to get something from her anyway. Thinking only about what you can get from them leads to needy behavior which leads to rejection. You don’t need her and you don’t need her rating! You really don’t.

This does not mean be socially uncalibrated, and just continue with something that she is clearly not into. Don’t do that! This is just about not taking it personally and staying focused.

Rejection only affects you if you take the rejection personally and therefore reject yourself.

By all means use rejection to spot what you might do better, if something becomes obvious. And by all means use women’s reactions to you as a ‘general barometer’ of whether you are succeeding in your own life. But don’t go into a tailspin of negative self talk over rejection. Sometimes the best thing that you can learn is to just move on and not worry about it in the slightest. There are hotter girls, remember. This girl rejected you because she was not awesome enough for you. I have this problem all the time 😉 Seriously though – you are the one who should be doing the rejecting. If she does not approve of you, then that is reason enough for YOU to reject her. That’s the frame! Stop being a pleaser and trying to win her over.

It’s her loss, but her loss is not your problem. Because you should be focused on you. This is what leads to being strong inside and not giving a fuck. That doesn’t mean not giving a fuck about anyone, it just means that you already know in yourself that you are doing just fine, and that their silly opinion is irrelevant. You are giving them an opportunity to interact with you and they are not taking it. So what? Move on.

And you will find that when you reach the point of genuinely not caring whether they approve, the approval rate will go up. This is the beautiful paradox of it all.

Learn to enjoy the interaction anyway, whether or not she approves of you. You can still enjoy the shape of her lips, her perfume, all the things that she is, regardless of what kind of a mood she is in. We call this “breathing in the Shakti”. Enjoy the experience, it will put a sparkle in your eye… and if she inspires you to become more, then use that inspiration to spur your self improvement. And then when it is time to exit, exit with a smile.

Next! Like buses, another one will be along in 5 minutes. 😉

Winning Is Everything

Winning Is Everything

In a man’s world, winning is everything. There. I said it.

Now. Modern culture wants to eradicate this kind of thinking. Competitiveness is now frowned upon and everyone gets a participation trophy.

Do not fall for that toxic ideological insanity.

Let’s break it down.

Women are biologically driven to select biological winners to mate with. This is called hypergamy and it is hard coded – for a good reason. It is basic survival of the fittest. The strongest genetics and health create traits which we instinctively recognize as “attractive”. Poor health looks less attractive. Deformity is perceived as unattractive – for a reason.

Our primal brains instinctively react a certain way to these traits. This is nature’s game, not ours.

For Men too, the drive to find a suitable mate is arguably one of the very strongest drives. To quote the legendary Mystery (Erik von Markovik) “If you do not reproduce, your genes will be unceremoniously snuffed from existence.”

This is reality for men. Getting laid is thus essential to the survival of your lineage. Are you going to let someone else tell you that your genetics being “consigned to the dustbin of history” doesn’t matter?

This is the reason why men are competitive. It’s because women love a winner and their instinct is to choose the best possible mate that will give her offspring the greatest chance of survival.

This is the way we were made.

So now let’s look at what it takes to become a winner……….

You Were Born A Champion

The first piece of good news is that you are already a winner! Yes, of the approx 250 MILLION sperm in one ejaculation, YOU were the champion swimmer that beat all comers (pun intentional) and got into that healthy egg. Imagine that! A swimming race with 250 MILLION contestants. A DEATH RACE, in fact – where there would only be one survivor and all the rest would die.

All of those 250 million were fighting for their existence, swimming for their very life… and you won. YOU beat every single damn one and got the gold medal called Your Life. The chance to LIVE.

That’s incredible, and it’s true. So there you go, one great reason to feel good about yourself. You beat them all, champ! You have every right to walk down the street with your head held high! Every breath you take is one of sweet victory!

Now it’s time to continue that form. Because your career is not over and no champion can rest upon his laurels for too long and still remain champion. You are in another race and this time it is against all the other champion swimmers from all those other swimming races that produced all the other males that are now sniffin’ around that girl you got your eye on.

Is she going to choose you?

Now you understand why you are competitive. That desire should motivate you – but in the right way. You should be driven to be the best that you can be. Healthy, strong, fast, skilled, knowledgeable. Do not let anyone crush your natural drive to excel, to win, to improve. I do not think that this ‘equalism’ that attempts to bolster the weak and suppress the strong is a good thing. To me it is ideological insanity. Anyway…

You can understand now why champion athletes are so desired by women and admired by men. There is a reason for the instinctive enjoyment of sports. You could even go so far as to say that the entire arena of sport is part of nature’s plan to perpetuate the species. If there is no competitiveness, no winners or losers, and “everyone gets one girl each” then natural selection would no longer be taking place. We would effectively be breeding in weakness… at which point nature will find other ways to cull the herd.

Can you see why people still pay to watch men fight, or compete in other contests of physical prowess, skill and mental strength?

You can now see also why the 80-20 rule is in place: 20% of the men are having 80% of the sex.

So you need to be in the top 20%.

Start taking care of yourself physically. Enrol in a good quality physical training program. Just by doing this you will put yourself in the top 50% because as you know, 50% of success is just showing up. You already overtook those who are sitting on the couch doing fuck all except consuming social media and eating chips.

Think seriously about your dreams. You have strengths. Focus on these things and develop them. Become awesome at something. Being good in your chosen field immediately puts you in the top 20% of something. It’s really about making the best of yourself, for you.

Monk Mode

This attitude has acquired a new moniker: Monk Mode. Monk mode, as illustrated in this video, is the temporary disappearance from public view in order to focus like a laser on self improvement. It means deliberate, strong choices to spend your time well and work hard:

Note, I don’t endorse some of the linguistics that he uses but the fundamental premise of this video is solid.

Do not let the limit of your abilities be known. When you display your greatness it should always appear as though you are in fact capable of even greater things, causing people to wonder what more might be inside you. Do not let your toil and sweat be seen, but work so damn hard that the things which are unattainable to others seem comfortable to you. Do not appear to be struggling to achieve the heights you have achieved. It is all the more impressive if you are head and shoulders above others, yet still within your own comfort zone, looking as though you are barely breaking stride. You will be the source of awe, fascination and inspiration.

Work extraordinarily hard in total privacy and secrecy, so that you can appear effortless in public.

Remember the Count of Monte Cristo – how he “disappeared” entirely from the world – and then when he returned, he was forged anew, strengthened immeasurably by his trials? He was branded falsely as a criminal, imprisoned, forgotten, presumed dead… yet on his return was wealthy beyond compare and able to overpower the enemies who had destroyed him before.

Be you as he. Disappear from the world, and work as though you have a gun to your head, as though are facing the fires of hell and goaded by demons with sharp teeth and red-hot brands. Then return made of pure fire and strength. None need see your tribulations, your weeping as the iron bar overcomes you, as you stagger and fall, and get up again, and again. They shall only see the Man Triumphant.

Alphas, Betas, Sigmas, Kings, Queens, And The Length Of A Man’s Fingers

There is only one type of man who can make a woman give up the bad boys, and be glad she did so. And that is the King archetype. However it is only the highest caliber of woman – the Queen – who can recognize this rare type and is in touch with herself enough to be with him.

It may be all based on finger length…. Science has discovered that the length of a man’s ring and index fingers are intrinsically linked to testosterone levels in the womb and early development. Testosterone levels in early youth determine which personality traits develop in males. There are two basic types that most men fall into:

1) The Alpha Male

The man with the ring finger longer than his index finger had a higher testosterone level as a child. This is your Alpha male. Ever since his early interactions with women as a young man, he was dominant – because the testosterone, and thus the natural dominant instinct, was there. Females instinctively responded strongly and positively to his “leading” behavior, and also instinctively recognize and are attracted to other visible alpha traits such as the strong jawline and upper body musculature, which are also linked to high testosterone. Thus the Alpha male is the guy who won at sports, learned very early on to lead women sexually, lost his virginity young and didn’t really have to make too much of an effort with girls because they make themselves highly available to him and will eagerly fuck him.

As a result, the “most alpha” of these guys grow up, if you can call it that, to become your player bad boys. They don’t have to try harder, so why should they? Immature women continually throw themselves at – and get hurt by – these guys. He is the guy she cries about because he is an asshole to her. And, not knowing any different, she then takes it upon herself to make it her objective to try to win this guy over and make him hers. Which never really happens – primarily because he has options – and there is always another woman who will have sex with him and is willing to give him a free pass on his bad behavior because he excites her.

This guy is generally a good lay because he is dominant, but all the other girls think so too, so she can’t keep him. As soon as a hotter female comes along, off he goes. Yet she would rather share him and compete with other women for him than have a Beta male all to herself. The Alpha may stick around for a while, if a woman is very attractive or otherwise pleasing to him, but as soon as a woman hits a certain age, he is all “enjoy your cats” and he is gone, with an new 18-25 year old chick in his crosshairs.

True “Alpha males” are, interestingly, despite their drive and aggression, very often not life’s high achievers. They quite literally think with their dicks – and would rather be out fucking – because they can – than at their desk building a business empire. They are often deadbeat fathers. A large percentage of men in jail are alphas. They are the tattooed bikers, immature “man children” and the lazy guys who never learned to be high achievers because they didn’t have to be in order to get laid and get by. Women found them irresistible and therefore made it easy for them to get sex whenever they want – and this generally dictates the pattern of their development and path through life.

2) The Beta Male

This man has a longer index finger than ring finger. He had low testosterone growing up. As a result, right from the early school playground establishment of the pecking order, he was not the dominant one. Right from the beginning he was pushed around by males and treated poorly by females, precisely because he did not hold the dominant frame and did not establish that things were going to proceed according to his terms. He became habitually submissive and thus did not learn dominant behavior, thus experiencing continual frustration and difficulty getting laid as a young man. He is the late virgin and attempts to compensate by being a nice guy. This is the guy who bores a woman in bed (if he even gets that far), but will take her shoe shopping AND carry the bags. He likes all her photos on Instagram and hopes (in vain) that she will give him attention in return. He will do anything she asks, in fact, because he hopes that by doing so, it will gain him access to the pussy. It won’t. She will call him for a ride home when the Alpha stood her up, he will race to her side, she will cry and tell him her problems, she will feel safe with him because he is non-threatening and validating; then she will give him a peck on the cheek and say thank you darling, and then go to bed by herself and rub one out – thinking about the Alpha who ditched her.

Beta males also in their careers are not typically high achievers. They may reach management positions and get good salaries on account of being steadfast, submissive and reliable – but they are generally always someone’s bitch. This also becomes self-fulfilling in their personal relationships; they are working too hard to please others to work on pleasing themselves, and so they tend to dress less stylishly than their alpha counterparts, seeking to play it safe and blend in rather than stand out, which further reinforces their Beta status in the sexual marketplace.

Beta males however make reliable parents. They are generally more caring, devoted and eager to please others around them, often going to great lengths to provide for their families. They are generally functional in all areas of their life except their sex life, which is continually frustrating both for them and, secretly, for their wives and girlfriends – who are either banging an Alpha on the side or wishing they were.

3) The Sigma Male

There is however a third archetype – the rarest of the three – the Sigma archetype. These men have index and ring fingers of identical length [note , I do not know if this is scientifically established, this is my untested theory but it seems to follow]. They express some dominant characteristics but are not the ones to start fights. They may however be the one to finish them, in unexpected and devastating fashion. Alphas often sense instinctively that the Sigma might be dangerous, and tend to pick softer targets to push around, leaving the Sigma alone.

The Sigma archetype makes up the mavericks, the startup business owners, edgy outsiders, high achievers, aloof Kings and lone wolves of the world.

This type is often not successful with the majority of women, but may form very strong and intimate connections with his rare counterparts in the female world… if he can but find them.

He intimidates and confuses most women, and the vast majority cannot figure out whether they want him or not, though introspective / alternative types may find him intriguing and mysterious. He is nothing like either the Alpha or the Beta, who by comparison are somewhat ‘basic’. He does not grab the girls by the hair and drag them off to his cave, but he will not be their bitch either. Most women are utterly puzzled by this ‘outsider’ guy and don’t know how to deal with him, so they push him away. As they have predominantly only experienced either Alpha or Beta men, who are easy to categorize and who fit into the patterns of game she has learned, the Sigma remains unfathomable to them and might as well be talking Martian. This infuriates him because he knows inside that he has many superior traits to either of the other types. Can nobody see it?

How he handles his loneliness and frustration is important, because it will dictate the kind of man he becomes.

The Sigma had the drive and enough testosterone not to be dominated, but was also not an early leader or sports captain and did not score easy, abundant wins with women in his early youth. People don’t readily understand him, and so he tends to withdraw, becoming an outsider or loner – reading books, becoming knowledgeable, creative, imaginative and skilled, thinking his own thoughts and learning to win in life through strategy rather than outright dominance. It is as though being neither driven mercilessly by testosterone nor being the submissive victim of the high testosterone of others, enables him to develop higher faculties and thus become something completely different to either of the other two main male archetypes. He may appear slightly androgynous, expressing both masculine and feminine characteristics in his demeanor and dress, and may appear to be balanced between logical and intuitive in his pursuits.

Fast forward to adulthood. The Sigma archetype, through his introverted pursuits and studies, has become a winning strategist in life, perhaps a sole proprietor of a business or an entrepreneur. He may become highly skilled and even ultra competent. But even if he achieves outward success, women still find him intimidating and confusing. He is used to living in his own world, which further develops his uniqueness and pushes him further out of touch with the majority. Most women have no deep experience of him or his world, they don’t know how to categorize him, certainly cannot manipulate him, and most of them are simply not on his level. So he gets rejected / blown out frequently.

This is tragic because this man would actually in many cases be the best choice of all for a woman – if she is not already irreparably damaged from Alpha abuse in her earlier years, and if she can put aside her childish acquisitiveness and roll on his level. The Sigma is more likely to be loyal – and not interested in one night stands; although he may have more than one woman in his life because the bonds he forms tend to be intense and long lasting. He is the guy who knows how to give her multiple orgasms, but will also make her breakfast. And it will be rosemary scrambled egg with French toast, served with a champagne mimosa and silver cutlery. He’s a high achiever after all…

The Sigma will take her shoe shopping too; however he will not carry her bags and will not follow her around like a puppy. He will drop her off at the mall and arrange to meet her in 45 mins, and he will be on time too, and he will expect her to do the same. Because Punctuality is the Politeness of Kings.

But most women are still foolishly chasing the Bad Boy Alpha and will not give the ultra-competent Sigma the time of day.

Thus the Sigma generally “unplugs” from the social and sexual marketplace – and in the modern post-feminist world, many Sigma males find themselves alone. They have become the lone wolf archetype, lonely Kings in their castle with everything except a Queen. This is because the Queen archetype, his natural consort, is also extremely rare. This is the woman who has it together on all levels and is not intimidated by the Sigma’s high intelligence and Mastery of his immediate environment. Rather, she delights in his heady world, finding him fascinating and enjoying his unusual traits. But the King also will not tolerate any Princess behavior or immaturity – and this vastly diminishes the number of options available to him… because most women in the modern world have been already damaged by The Deadly Isms and by the Alpha / beta dichotomy that has come to prevalence post-feminism, and which leaves them bitter, confused and possibly even broken by the age of 25-30.

This requires explanation. Most women are unhappy in the modern post-feminist world because their liberation, rather than giving them the life of their dreams, now has them caught between a rock and a hard place, forced to “choose” between Alphas and Betas. The Alpha will fuck her well but will break her heart, because he doesn’t give a shit, and post feminism / social media has given him even more options for conquest than ever before. The always-available Beta will provide for her at the drop of a hat, but will not make her insides tingle. So she remains unfulfilled on a deep level – and when women hit around 30-35, all of a sudden…. the Alphas start to go for younger women. She either locks down a provider Beta and grudgingly has sex with him, without much spark, or she ends up alone with her cats, wishing her bad boy would come back but also knowing he is bad news.

The immature woman is fixated on trying to capture an Alpha and turn him into the kind of man she wants him to be. This objectifying behavior is not healthy and sets up a dysfunctional pattern that is in many cases never resolved – because the Alpha will not change in any meaningful way except superficially (read: he learns to say the right words if it will get him more pussy, but otherwise continues not to give a shit). And all the while she chases this man she is off her center, and does not develop the meaningful skills and attributes that will turn her into a high achiever in her own right. She remains as a Princess and does not become a Queen.

Modern women, liberated by feminism but not necessarily wise in the ways of men, thus often resort to attempting the ‘best of both worlds’; juggling Alpha-on-the-side with a Beta husband – but this requires infidelity and a double life. Dishonesty is dysfunctional, feels rotten inside and it all usually ends badly with broken marriages, bitterness, confusion and blame, despite the fact that it seemed like a good idea at the time.

If a woman finds a Sigma, the best thing she could do is devote herself to him. If she would but have the courage to kneel at his feet and say “I’m yours, make me into what you want me to be” – the true King will not abuse her, but he will raise her up, putting her on her throne, taking extraordinary care of her and initiating her in the royal arts and the higher life that his many years of strategy and learning have prepared him for so well; as she too initiates him into her royal arts of love and life.

That’s the fairytale. However, sadly in most cases, the Alphas get to the women first; especially the hot / highly sexual ones, and this often ruins them. The technical term for such women is “Alpha widows”. Often these women did not have strong fathers threatening to kick the shit out of the bad boy if he tried to fuck his daughter. This may be more than a coincidence but that is a topic for another essay. Anyway the Alpha Widows may end up young mothers and / or damaged; either with PTSD from abuse, or with dark cravings which push them toward further abusers or even toward destructive practices such as prostitution, drug abuse and/or “dark BDSM” which is really a term for sexual abuse addiction.

Going down this path may leave her, finally, as “damaged goods”. The King archetype does not want damaged goods, does not wish to be Daddy to someone else’s children, and is not going to let his woman cheat on him either. He is smart enough to catch her in the act (another reason why he is intimidating to some women), and he will be furious too because she has dared to shatter his idealism. And he is certainly not fun when he is furious. The King will not put up with any crap. He won’t take it lying down and he has very high standards, higher than most people are used to being around.

There is a further aspect to this, which is that the Sigma archetype is the most likely to become, in the end, a highly skilled lover, owing not to innate assertiveness but to his “hacker” nature, his attentiveness to nuance and his desire to understand and master the inner workings of things. If he can achieve this, he stands a chance to take his woman far higher than any bad boy ever did, and he has the potential to provide a passionate yet nurturing love which can cure her, permanently, of her immature addiction to the bad boy, and fill her eyes with sparkle. He is also far more likely to be loyal and honest to those around him, but may be demanding as he expects people to meet him on his level. And there is, sadly, an awful lot of damaged goods out there now.

Watch out for the Sigma type. If positively aspected / enlightened, they may turn out as “Kings” – leaders of business, rock stars, high achievers and so on.

However if these men become troubled, brooding, psychologically damaged and “endarkened”, they may develop “dark triad” characteristics – Machiavellianism, narcissism and psychopathy – becoming criminal masterminds, hackers, edgy lone wolf types, deviant and dangerous in their ambitions, while becoming expert manipulators and grand deceivers in relationships.

Wrap Up: Overcoming Your Traits

One might think as a result of this that our lives are predetermined. However, very much of dominant / submissive behavior is acquired early on and deeply ingrained, but not permanently so. Like many other deeply learned behaviors and responses, it can be changed. Hence we have game – which at its best is a deep dive into the psyche and the transformation of negative learned behaviors. Note also that these are archetypes and people may carry more than one aspect. There are many shades of grey.

A Beta can learn to be assertive through self-esteem training and to raise their testosterone levels through diet, exercise and other pursuits.

Similarly an Alpha can learn to shut the fuck up and actually listen for once and make an effort to please others rather than just himself, balancing things out.

As for the Sigma archetype – he should strive not to permit his loneliness to cause him to fall into troubled, brooding darkness; learning instead that most strategic of traits: Patience. He should have faith that if he stays the course, his Queen will come to him at last. He should make an effort not to become too abstracted into his thoughts, and remain relatable. He should also take care of himself physically and avoid self-destructive pursuits.

For women – seek not to acquire men as objects in the same way that you acquire other things that have value to you. A partner is not a thing to be acquired in the way that you acquire an item you want at the mall; rather, a harmonious relationship with others and the formation of healthy bonds will arise from having a healthy relationship first of all with yourself, and from learning that you only get out of relationships what you put in. The Princess expects someone else to make her problems go away, whereas the Queen is able to be the agent of change. She also makes an adroit choice of partner; avoiding immature, abusive and weak men as she understands them to be a waste of time. Nurture yourself and put in your inner work, becoming the best version of yourself that you can be.

All of us are to some extent broken, as the saying goes – but we can all heal, and as Hemingway said, being broken is how the light gets in.

To find your Queen, you must first become a King – and to find your King, you must first become a Queen.

Some Will. Some Won’t. So What? Stop Chasing. Self Improve.

The Thirst is real fellas, and it is strong.

One only needs to take a quick look at social media and the thirsty fools in their hundreds, desperate to get the attention of some 18-25yo female:

the thirst
– Every single cute girl’s photo comments feed, ever. She does not respond to ANY of these men’s comments or PM’s, ever. (photos and user names redacted)

What did she do to get this attention, apart from being born reasonably good looking and sit there in her underwear?

NOTHING.

Seriously, it’s pathetic. Hundreds or even THOUSANDS of drooling men competing for her attention. One of them probably even bought her the skimpy clothes she was wearing, not as a reward for something she did but as a desperate attempt to be liked!

This is called SIMPING. You will not get her attention that way. Full stop. End of story. In fact, it is completely counterproductive. Let me explain.

She does not give a DAMN if you are interested in her because your interest in her is not what drives her interest in you! Your QUALITY is what drives her interest in you. If you have QUALITY, she will have already noticed you, believe me. And if you have quality, she will be expecting to have to WIN YOU OVER. So if you act as though you are already won over before she has even opened her mouth, you are DONE.

First of all, she has OPTIONS.

And what does that mean? Two things.

1) If you are acting as though she is your best option… it’s over. Because the kind of man she is looking for is the kind of man who also has OPTIONS. The kind of man she is fantasizing about is the kind of man for whom girls of her calibre are two-a-penny. He is the kind of man that women like her are CHASING, not the kind of man that is chasing women like her!!! Do you see the psychology? If you are chasing her, it signals subconsciously that you do not have abundance of females in your life. Otherwise you would be the one BEING CHASED. Women are more likely to chase the man that she sees other women are chasing.

2) The kind of man she wants does not have TIME to waste on social media writing pathetic love letters to girls… because he is too busy being awesome!!! He has a PLAN for his life and he is too busy making it happen to be on Instagram all day saying “Hi beautiful” to random girls. Does a top athlete, rock star or entrepreneur sit around on Instagram trying to get the attention of girls??? Seriously, this is a fact. Look at good looking women on Fetlife and you will see them clearly state “NO MESSAGES FROM MEN”. They are 100% disinterested in hearing from men a) because of the thirst, which has turned them off completely and b) because the kind of man they are interested in does not generally message girls first on social media anyway – because he doesn’t have to.

Oh, she is looking for awesome men, believe me. If you are being awesome you WILL be noticed – and will be pursued. But by messaging her you already disqualified yourself. I know it sounds weird to begin with, but believe me. Look at this “opener” message I got from a girl (she messaged first and this was NOT a fake profile):

girl first

So ask yourself this: Are you committed to being the best version of you that you could possibly be and living the best life you can live, EVERY SINGLE DAY?

Do that – and let women be the ones to chase; because when you are putting your A game into YOUR LIFE, they will!

Don’t Be Too Available

It is ok to write this kind of a response to a woman you are attracted to (real life example from a different conversation):

busy right now

Not because of some attempt at manipulation or “acting as though you are busy”. But you should actually be busy. You are not going to lose her if you do this!!! Important point. She will actually think more highly of you because you value yourself and your time. Being “always available” does not impress a girl! It signals that you do not have anything important going on in your life!

You should not be fixated on some girl. You should be fixated on YOU. Do not put women on a pedestal! (Do not hate them either). Just stop giving them so much unearned energy. It is unattractive, will lead towards you being financially exploited (well to be honest you are exploiting yourself because you will be the one willingly throwing your money away) and is simply not what you should be doing with your life.

What the hell happened to your PATH? Your CRAFT? Your WORK? Your DREAMS?

What the hell are you even doing on Instagram in the middle of the fucking day?? Do you think that high achievers and top performers in life have time for that bullshit?

No! And neither do you IF YOU ARE GOING TO JOIN THEIR RANKS! It IS within your power, by the way.

But are you being the best version of yourself you can be? That is YOUR choice, your commitment – and being led around by your DICK all day will stop you from getting there!

How do you think I know this? 😉 Been there, done that.

It’s Neither Good For You Nor Good For them

Men’s pathetic simping behavior has now led to an entire generation of young women who do nothing with their lives except sit around in their underwear, chatting with strangers, selling their panties and rubbing one out on camera for thirsty fools who are paying to watch.

What the actual fuck?!?! Stop it!!!

video games all day
Seen online….

Remember the law of nature – people will take whatever you give them. But is that going to be good for them? Not really. Does a free handout lead to higher quality individuals with high self esteem? No, it does not. You know this. Having to work to earn something is what leads to self development, self esteem and fulfillment. The more you give people on a silver platter, the less they appreciate it and the more privileged and entitled they act.

DO NOT CHASE, EVER.

Giving attention to women is something you should only do as a reward for them being good to you. Remember this. That does not mean stonewall them or ignore them totally. It just means, you don’t invest emotionally in someone who has not yet shown you that they give a crap about you. Yes, you have to open but that is literally all she gets until and unless she responds positively. This is why the pick-up artists recommend delivering your opening line “over the shoulder” as opposed to with your body fully facing hers. Facing her totally means you are giving her your undivided attention – which she has not earned yet!

Remember first of all that Beauty Is Common. That pretty girl walking down the street or popping up in your feed is NOT RARE. Stop acting as though she is. There are MILLIONS of pretty women in the world. That is not to say that good looks are not desirable, they are super desirable obviously. But looks do not and will not ever make someone SPECIAL so stop acting as though a good looking girl is made of fairy dust and that she shits your favorite flavor ice cream because of her looks. SHE DOES NOT.

What makes someone exceptional is their CHARACTER and you know NOTHING about her character yet. If you immediately go into PEDESTALIZATION MODE because of her looks then it shows in fact that you have LOW STANDARDS and / or are DESPERATE. Which is a super turn off to a girl!

First of all, focus on YOU. YOU are the one who should be on the pedestal in your own mind. That is not to say you should be a narcissist – you definitely should not – but imagine a statue of you is being made of marble and is going to be the version of you that is seen by the millions for the rest of time. Do you want to make any changes to yourself in order to BECOME THAT MAN who is going to set that example?

When you start committing DAILY to forging YOURSELF into the best version of yourself that you can be, a shift happens. People start noticing you, instinctively. You will notice that they are noticing you; and you will learn that dating should be effortless IF you are living the way you should be living. If you are being the best version of yourself you can be, on all levels, for YOU… it is ATTRACTIVE.

And you will pull, and will be treated better by women in general. Because you are respecting yourself. If you stop chasing women and start seeing them as a reward from life that will come when you start being awesome, you will do so much better.

By all means, make intros to girls. Say hello. Be playful and fun. But DO NOT CHASE. Stop it with the damn text message barrage! Do you not have better things to do?

You cannot “make” a girl be into you. And even if you are made of pure awesome, have sculpted abs from years of training, are a sleek, lean, mean machine….. she might not be into you.

So what? Do you actually fucking care? Because you shouldn’t!! And besides, if you keep on chasing when a girl has already signalled disinterest, then you are creeping her out. Stop it. Don’t be that guy. Do not chase. Attract.

Would James Bond give a shit if some girl blows him off??? Of course not. Because a) he has important stuff to be getting on with anyway, so he just gets right back into his groove and b) he knows that all he has to do is keep on focusing on being awesome and another one will come along.

Turning into a dancing monkey, desperately trying to get her attention… it signals all the wrong things. Let it go! I get it, she is incredibly cute, has that sexy voice you like, booty, legs, boobs, pretty hands, eyes, lips, all of it. I get it, believe me I do! But you have better things to do – and if you WASTE YOUR TIME on all this bullshit, you will NOT become the best version of yourself and she will choose someone else anyway!

And STOP giving money to girls who are not your significant other, for any reason, ever! Is she physically able to earn money doing some kind of work that makes the world a better place? Then why the hell are you helping her NOT to do that?

If you see a pic of a girl online who just knocks you flat on your ass? Stop. Do not message her. Print it out and write underneath “If I succeed in being the best version of myself I can possibly be, this will fall into my lap.” And then get to work! Because she is waiting for you to step up and be your awesome self.

Some Will. Some Won’t. So What? Stop Chasing. Self Improve.

Good Looking People Are Assholes


Billy Idol in his prime, not giving a shit… because why did he need to?

Let’s just be honest. Good looking people are assholes.

People are only as nice as they need to be. Human nature. If you are already getting what you want, why do you need to try any harder?

And so it goes.

The coolest, nicest people I have ever met have been physically unattractive. Also, some of the most obnoxious, self centered and rude people I have ever met have been very good looking. Now that is not to say that it is impossible for an attractive person to be nice and for an unattractive person to be horrible. Far from it. But there is an underlying principle at work here. It’s all about leverage and the technical term for it is SMV – Sexual Marketplace Value.

How shocking to suggest that such a thing rules human behavior! Don’t forget that sex is what keeps the human race alive and thus the laws of sexuality are the laws that drive our behavior at some of the deepest levels.

When you see an online dating profile of someone physically unattractive, you can be sure they will make a really big effort to be nice (to someone with a perceived higher SMV than themselves).

And I think, yeah, you better be nice, or talented, or skilled – because you ain’t cute.

This is also why comedians are generally not physically ideal specimens. They have to make up for it somehow. We all have talents but we tend not to grow them if there is no perceived need.

People grow according to the boundaries given to them and according to what is required of them. When people are cute, others will generally give them a free pass on all sorts of things. This will have been going on ever since their teenage years, and so the conditioning runs deep. The good-looking person can replace you easily as there are others lining up to get a piece of them. Hence a really hot guy or girl can be an absolute cunt and people will still come back for more. They don’t make any efforts to develop character because it really isn’t required: They can get laid and paid anyway.

Whereas if someone is physically repulsive, only the absolute pinnacle of “nice” behavior (read: paying for things and not limiting the behavior of the target) is going to get them laid.

There have also been scientific studies done to demonstrate that ugly people are much more likely to be assumed to be guilty of a crime than someone who has looks.

This is why criminal defense lawyers advise their clients to ‘dress to impress’ when up in the dock. Because if they look sharp it will influence others’ perception of their character. The fact that some pieces of fabric arranged in a certain manner indicates nothing of a person’s morals, is completely irrelevant to our primate brains, that are still hardwired to respond to these environmental cues.

So if you are being ignored, I would honestly say focus on your looks, physique, wardrobe and posture, rather than on trying harder to be nice. Of course, don’t be an asshole. But being a charming asshole – in the sense of being carefree rather than being an outright dick to people – gets results, see Billy Idol interview above. Also be highly aware of the “halo effect” and how it influences the way to treat others who you perceive as attractive.

The same applies in reverse. If you are trying to get the attention of someone gorgeous, be aware that 100+ other people are trying to get their attention also, and they really don’t give a shit because they don’t have to.

It’s really rare to find someone who treats all people with equal respect, regardless of the person’s physical appeal. This applies to both male and female.

So here’s what to do.

1) Understand reality. Know the game.
2) Accept reality for what it is. It is no use wailing that the world is not fair. That would only make you pathetic and get even worse results. Play the game.
3) Work hard on being awesome. “Be someone worth fucking” as they say. Check out our looksmaxing tutorial.

Pussy Hyperinflation Bad

Social media has turned dating upside-down and confused our poor ape-brains as never before. It’s essential to understand the state of the game here and to maintain objectivity, otherwise you will be doomed to a miserable dating life.

The first thing to observe is that online dating gives you the perception that you have infinite options. Whereas fifty years ago your pool of options might have been a handful of women if you were in a small town or village, and perhaps hundreds of women if you were a city socialite – social media now gives us access to millions of people. You can literally view the profiles of and send messages to millions of single females.

However does this improve your chances? Probably not at all – and here’s why. Let’s get right to the main premise of this piece: Accessibility and genuine options are not the same thing. Put another way: If your actual chances of success with something are zero, it is not worth doing, no matter how much hope you have that it will work out.

The next thing to observe is that your options also believe they have millions of options – many of whom inevitably (sorry) have a Sexual Marketplace Value (SMV) above yours.

In other words, whatever your gender and orientation, your target is probably holding out for someone hotter than you; someone that the online dating smorgasbord has similarly fooled them into thinking feel they have a chance with.

As a result, most conversations go nowhere. Most of the messages that people receive are from people that they do not perceive to be hot enough to be worth their time.

The other aspect of this is that women get tons of attention on social media and dating platforms. You will surely have noticed that on Instagram, the vast majority of females get 10x to 1000x the amount of likes and comments that males get. It need hardly be said that this is entirely based on looks. This thirstiness and giving of immediate IOIs lowers your value.

Ever wonder why Tinder isn’t working for you? A study of Tinder has also found that a man of “average” attractiveness will be “liked” by only 1 in 115 women. It turns out that the 80:20 rule applies here – with 78% of women competing for the top 20% of men and the other 80% of men competing for the bottom 22% of women.

This causes two things to happen.

1) As a male, your value goes down. You are very, very replaceable. If she is attractive, she has a thousand options. She doesn’t even have to be nice to you. She doesn’t have to display any virtues or qualities whatsoever. She can create a super lazy profile saying “just ask” and will STILL get 1,000 messages. Her sense of entitlement and worth go through the roof.

However this causes problems. This sense of entitlement, combined with women’s natural hypergamous nature (their willingness to “trade up” if something better comes along) means that they are essentially holding out for the “super hot guy” who they think they are worth, yet who has so many options that he regards them as disposable too!

Society too has told them that they are worth this – and the social media attention confirms the entitlement – even if they are average looking.

Trust me, with online dating they are primarily interested in looks. Women want a hot guy! Why do you think that Tinder is so popular with women? It enables them to filter through men really fast by looks, instantly eliminating all but “the hot guys”.

Long and short of it, it works for almost nobody, except the top few percent of good looking humanoids, who are bombarded with messages and have tons of options.

And for those people it is most likely destroying their character and chances of becoming something awesome in life, because they have it too easy to really start giving a shit about the right things. In other words, social media can be incredibly unhealthy.

Remember that it is an artificial world. Women who will not give you the time of day on social media (because their “I can do better” online mindset has kicked in) will be far more receptive in the real world, where you can also demonstrate personality, realness and nuance in a way that is all but impossible in the artificial environment of a dating website.

Remember also that, in the words of Pimp Rosebudd “She knows nothing about your style until you bring it to her ass”. Don’t assume that she can see your personality online. She probably can’t. She doesn’t “get” you and doesn’t care. She is only thinking one thing “Is he hot enough?” aka ‘gina tingles. She has been spoon fed fantasies of Christian Grey (50 Shades Of Grey), together with various other Hollywood nonsense – and she wants to snag a celebrity Prince Charming – hot, rich, exciting, well hung. The fact that these men are very few and far between is neither here nor there. She has made up her mind that she is good enough and so she will likely brush aside even above average contenders.

In short: You can be awesome and still crash and burn over and over again online…

There are three things to do here and one thing not to do:

1) Improve your look as much as you can. Work out. Looksmax. Make more of an effort to dress well. Study our Looksmaxing Tutorial!
2) Improve your game.
3) Go out and meet women in the real world. Not only will this be better for your game (and your posture!) than hiding behind a keyboard, but you will have better chances. Do not spend your life sitting in a chair staring at a screen. Trust me, it is a killer.
4) Stop tricking off your paper. Stop buying women stuff. Do NOT give money to women online. Do NOT give money to their Patreon for the “privilege” of getting a thank you from them. It’s horrific. Man the fuck up and do not succumb to this nonsense of giving gifts to someone you are not in an actual relationship with and who is not giving gifts to you.

Removing Manipulative People, Cockblocks, Cunts And Swindlers From Your Life

It is extremely difficult to have a completely fulfilling life if there are people attempting to exploit you in various ways for their own ends; riding rough-shod across your fields and trampling your flowers. It’s time to close the gate.

You Are Being Cockblocked

In the modern world it is essentially socially frowned upon for a man to have game, and to be successfully pulling and enjoying sexual adventures. A successful bachelor will be labeled as a player, mocked and even criticized for not “manning up” (translation: for not providing support for someone else’s kids!) Society in general wants to pour salt on a man’s game! And then on top of that, you have the various individuals who make a point of doing so for their own purposes.

High Value Attracts The Sharks

Learning to deal with manipulative people applies to everyone but may be especially important to “successful people” for the simple reason that the more you have, the more that people will want to have a piece of you. This is simple life 101. The juicier the leaf, the more caterpillars there are nibbling at it. So you will find that as you grow in power in life, the games become more difficult, and the sharks become bigger, faster and hungrier. Achieve sudden wealth and all sorts of people will befriend and flatter you – for their own ends. The same applies to good looks, status and other forms of value – and not everyone plays nice.

So before you present yourself naively as a “high value guy” that has resources and is highly desired by women, you have to ask yourself whether you really want the inevitable consequences of appearing this way. Being desired by women sounds good on paper but you have to consider the fact that these people may well not have any interest whatsoever in improving your life and may only have an interest in improving their own. This is typically not good news!

It is therefore sometimes best to keep your value under wraps and learn to control the “statement” you are making. This applies both to physical wealth and other forms of value such as status. Fame can be a nightmare – as is well known. And displaying wealth merely signals to the pirates that you are a loaded galleon ripe for the plunder.

Human Nature

There are fundamentally two kinds of people. Those who give a damn about you – or at least live by some sort of ethical code where they have a baseline of treating people with respect, and those who are out for whatever they can get and have no qualms about taking what they want for themselves, sometimes with no care for the consequences or damage caused.

This form of selfishness has always lurked in the shadows of human life but appears to be getting more prevalent in the modern world. I wonder if there is in general less of a code of ethics than there used to be and more of a drive to “get what’s yours”. It seems that way, although it is difficult to say ultimately.

Women have been particularly encouraged and legitimized by modern culture (girl power, yay!) to become unashamedly selfish – using their charm and sexuality to gain status, power and wealth. It has already been decreed from upon high that men are assholes, and so, conveniently dehumanized, men are fair game in the eyes of many women.

There is also a “halo effect” where the more good looking a person is, the more virtuous they are believed to be. This has been proven by scientific study. It is also quite possible that being good looking has in fact made them less virtuous: Good looking people are given free pass after free pass for bad behavior and in many cases this has led, through negative conditioning, to them being entirely corrupt – having had no boundaries for so long, that selfishness and manipulation have become so deeply ingrained that they cannot be changed. Reliance on charm has become the absolute default mode. It need hardly be said that after their charms fade, people of this type, having developed no virtue, will have nothing that anyone wants. Women of this type will wail “Where have all the good men gone?” and console themselves with cats, Haagen Das and Netflix binges instead of creating value for others.

Regardless of the trappings and surfaces that people present to you, their glamour and sparkle, their talk and charm, you must learn to see through to the core of the person and understand whether they actually care about you, or whether they only care about their own gain. Even the most skilled manipulator cannot deceive the person who truly understands human nature and can read motive accurately.

This is not a simple yes/no equation. There are various degrees of selfishness. It’s a spectrum – with the majority of people being somewhere in the middle; of course having self-interest, but with an overall concept of fairness and “the win win”.

Some people on the other hand are dangerous – plain and simple. You will be stunned, shocked and flabbergasted at the shit that people are capable of pulling. I have seen people swindle businesses or embezzle funds from friends and family with no qualms. I have encountered people drugging people’s drinks both for sexual predation and for sadistic amusement. And I have seen people fabricate an extraordinarily complex web of deceit in order to bring another person down.

Playing For Keeps

When a woman finds a man that she wants for keeps, the game changes. Now some women are cool and don’t act possessive. But very many will do whatever they can to keep the other women away. Most of the time, the man won’t have an inkling of what is going on. She will be sugar and spice and all things nice to his face, while giving death glares to other females when he is looking the other way. Women are PROS at this. And the more desirable you are, the more intense it gets. You will be disgusted at the dastardly way some women, supposedly the fairer sex, compete with other women. And you have to peep game, otherwise you will get creamed. Watch out for the woman who wants you for herself. Watch out for the ones who are pissed off for a week after you so much as glance at the ass of a girl who was walking the other way down the street. Big red flag. Does she want to control you or does the actually care about your happiness? Chose well!

Putting You In Orbit

A manipulator may even be someone who is not actually fucking you and has no intention of doing so. People who are social climbers want to associate with high value people because it makes them look good or confers other social benefits. You might be being kept around as a kind of accessory. Women who are competing with other women may like to collect orbiters. Orbiters are essentially male admirers who she has no intention of sleeping with, but make her look good or do favors for her. Shallow women love to make a display of all the attention they are getting from men. She will pull tricks such as inviting you round to her work place to bring her a coffee (and being the chump you are, you will say yes because then you get to see her, you desperate fool). Unless you are actually getting some, she is not doing this because she is longing to see you, she is doing it because she wants her co-workers to see how admired and powerful she is. It’s pathetic… but it happens – with manipulative people. Cool people don’t do that kind of bullshit. But the problem is that cool people are often the suckers. Because it does not occur to them to do such absurd things, they do not see it coming either. So you need to be wise and adept at reading people. It comes through experience – sadly, often too late, after someone has already fucked up your shit utterly. If you have ever been in the position of having your dreams shattered and looking back, too late, you will know exactly what I am talking about.

I Shall Decide What You Get

Many people are strangely, even perversely controlling. Some people, both male and female – even people you do not have a romantic connection with – will want to play gatekeeper in your sex life. They have somehow decided what THEY think is suitable for you (it’s none of their fucking business!) and will pull various tricks to run off, derail and pour salt on scenarios that do not meet their approval. Family members, co-workers, supposed friends, exes, competing admirers and even complete strangers might have a hand to to play, so keep your eyes peeled.

Women in groups will often cockblock the other girls in the group; and men will be vetted for approval before the girl is “allowed” to associate with him by her friends. Sometimes this is done for justifiable reason – to run off predators, fuckboys and guys who are bad news, but it is often done also out of jealousy or for various other controlling motives; and may even be done habitually, by default. In general, hotter women are more likely to be ‘locked down’ in terms of social access. In difficult scenarios you may not be able to get her away from her friends and may need to do a stealth number drop and meet with the girl privately. You do have a catch card, don’t you? A simple, small card (smaller is better, it can be palmed!) can be exchanged in 0.5 seconds whereas one of you putting your number in the other’s phone is slow and very visible. If she has been making “I want you” eyes at you, but is in a situation where she is locked down or being pulled away by her mates, you might be able to slip her your catch card by stealth.

…And she will appreciate your discretion. Many women will ONLY sleep with a man who she can trust to be discreet – so learn this skill. And there are many situations where a woman thinks a man is hot and would actually fuck him but the man is considered ‘taboo’ by her peers – too poor, too dirty, too old, too crazy, “bad boy” etc. If you can recognize these signals and provide the opportunity for a discreet encounter, you might just be in luck.

It’s not just women who cockblock though. In my youth, a male friend of mine would attempt to fuck up my scene with girls. A man being cockblocked by a male friend! Imagine that! He would either put me down in front of them, persuade me that they were beneath me, cite various pseudo-moralistic reasons why I ought not to be with her (watch out for those) or otherwise undermine the relationship between me and the girl. Sometimes the motive was transparent – so that he could get in there himself. Other times, it was more bizarre – he was actually jealous of the connection and wanted ‘bro time’ sufficiently that he would derail my intimate time with the girl and steal me away. Sounds gay but it in fact was not.. just very, very controlling. Some people are so controlling that they need to be in control for no reason other than that they need to be in control. And some are extremely charismatic, clever and so skilled that they will run rings around you, until you get hip to the game. At the time, I was young and innocent and simply had no clue what was going on, or that anyone could even have such absurd motives. I got creamed. This person successfully salted my game on three separate occasions to my knowledge – and perhaps more! Then one day I wised up, and had a moment of clarity where it suddenly all made sense. But it was sadly far too late for those situations that they had smashed. I don’t hang out with that “friend” socially any more. Such persons are not, in fact, your friends.

The List Goes On and I have barely even given scratched the surface of the myriad of possible cockblocks you might receive.

Get Clarity

It is contrary to your interests to associate even peripherally with manipulative, selfish people. You must learn the art of removing them from your life.

The first step in reclaiming your life is recognizing who is who. This is mission critical and often extremely difficult. Some manipulators are so skilled that you may only realize ten years later that you were had. In other cases, you would never have known, were it not for information supplied by an ally. And in other cases, you will simply never know what actually went down. It’s sad that so often you only get wise years after, when it really is too late and the past is frozen in time. But that’s life. There must be millions of people who only get clarity on their life when they are old or dying and it’s too late. Don’t be someone who can only look back helplessly thinking “if only”…

Cut The Cords

The next step is to remove people from your life who have their hooks into you. This can be a real adventure and the difficulty may vary. In simple cases you might simply “go ghost” and avoid contacting that person. In more difficult cases you may be required to make serious and drastic life changes to get away from a bad person.

You typically cannot simply confront such a person with their misdeeds and cause them to change. They will evade, lie, cheat… and continue – and furthermore may quite likely take your accusations very personally. Of course, they are perfect in their own narcissistic mind – and so such attempts to reinstate truth and fairness can only be interpreted as an evil attack; one which must therefore be thwarted by bringing even bigger guns into the field. Which the expert manipulator will always have.

A bad person is a bad person and you should think first about saving your own skin. Holding up the mirror to their face will only amplify the darkness. And revenge will often lead to horrible consequences for all concerned. There is only one thing a man can do: You have to remove them from your life and prevent them from fucking up your scene any more.

If the scenario requires any kind of face-to-face engagement, do it privately and inform the person, kindly but firmly, that it is over and that you will be moving forward without them. Cutting the cords should be done cleanly, completely and decisively. Expect that there will be denial and protestations of innocence; possibly even crocodile tears. It’s likely that the perpetrator might try to worm their way back in. But you don’t need them and the real challenge here is simply to stay firm, end the conversation and walk away. They may bait you in order to get you to re-engage. Don’t fall for it. It’s over. Walk away without looking back and make a fresh start. Don’t waste your time on these people. There are 7 billion others waiting in the wings, and you can do better.

“Reclaiming your own identity” – on a psychological level – may have some value. Remember that you are a free adult who has a right to consensual relations with another, without anyone else making it their business. You have a right to choose who is in your life and you are not required to maintain social connections that do not serve you positively. You must also be aware that you need to stand up for yourself because people will not always respect you just because that is what they ought to do. Not everyone is cool that way.

Damage Control

A lie, as is well known, “gets half way around the world before the truth gets its pants on”. It may be impossible for you to set the record straight in all instances, but you should take care of reputation management, correcting misinformation wherever it is possible and prudent to do so. It’s sad that people poisoned against you may never know the truth – and in some situations you simply have to let it go and look forward to bright new beginnings.

A Gentleman Does Not Kiss And Tell

A most advisable step is simply not to inform people of your private affairs. At all. Gossip spreads and you know the old saying “loose lips sink ships”. Bank robbers and the like are often caught because they could not resist boasting to someone of their deeds. Keeping an actual secret, especially one you are proud of, is very difficult and most people cannot do it. It’s the same with romantic liaisons. Let’s say you have a new crush. Will you keep it to yourself so that no jealous person can ruin the set? Let’s say you sealed the deal with this super fine babe. Would you be able to resist calling your mates and boasting of your conquest?

Why are you doing this anyway? Going after hot women so that you can boast to your pals is a pretty lame reason to go on the pull – and not only this but women are likely to shut down on you if they suspect this kind of egoism – because they have a reputation to protect too; not to mention that they will likely be seeking someone who is into them for them, not as a trophy! So get clear on your motives and keep your private life private. Intimacy is intimate because it is shared between the persons concerned and no others.

Privacy is even more difficult now in the age of social media. Information about your private life should not be laid out on Facebook or anywhere else. It isn’t Zuckerberg or anyone else’s business whether you are in a relationship so keep it that way.

Trusted Allies

Learn to recognize the true ally – the person who is all the way down for you. There are not many of those true friends in your life and you are lucky if you have one.

The person who is really down for you, all the way down, will be the one to inform you of a conspiracy against you, out of loyalty to you over the perpetrators. But watch out for potential motives for doing so. Maybe they want to give the appearance of loyalty but for some deeper, more calculating purpose. It goes deep!

In order to get loyalty, you have to give loyalty. A person has to believe that they will be better off being loyal to you than not. They have to feel recognized and acknowledged, protected and cared for.

Inexperienced people have no real idea of the value of trust. Someone you can trust to the end is gold. There are too few of those people around. When you find one, do what you can to give this person value and reward them for being true.

Make A List

This is a fantastic exercise. Here is what I would recommend. Create three categories. 1) “People who fucked me over in some way”. 2) “People in the middle ground” (who have done some harm but also some real good, or are under suspicion) and 3) “People who have never fucked me over as far as I know”.

Go through all the people you have known throughout your life. No point in adding people who are mere acquaintances. We are talking about actual friends and people you have spent real time with here. You can even rank the people in some kind of order, with the people you have known the longest or spent the most time with at the top.

Now take a good look at the list. Are the people in category 1 still influencing your life in the present time? Are the people in category 2 being treated cordially yet cautiously? And have you shown your appreciation and gratitude for all the people in category 3? Think back over your life and recall all the people who never actually fucked you over. Be sure to show those people your appreciation. Even in simple ways – remembering their birthday, etc. Sometimes humble goodness goes all too unnoticed.

You may also find that there are some people about whom you find yourself thinking “I just don’t know where I should place that person.” Listen to those instincts, they are there for a reason. Again, be cordial. But be cautious of counting on such people or trusting them with too much.

Private Space

Younger men in particular may have a hard time having actual private space that they are in control of. Family members, room mates, landlords and so on may have a controlling influence. You should be able to take a woman back to your pad without anyone running interference. If you don’t have that kind of scenario, with genuine privacy, you need to get it organized. Having logistics properly handled makes a huge difference to the success of your private life.

Extra Pairs Of Eyes

Not enough people believe that God is always watching these days. Not that I am religious. But the more people think that they can get away with, the more they try. The kind of people you can trust are the kind of people you can trust when you are not looking. But extra eyes – both real and artificial – are always beneficial. Nothing beats a hidden camera to reveal whether someone is stealing from you or a trusted friend to reveal whether others respect you as highly when you are not around as when you are.

Do Not Become The Monster

It is essential that in the course of removing the various gremlins and monsters from your life, that you do not yourself become one of the monsters. So be sure to keep your own virtue and your own high standards. Never sink to their level. A good way to maintain virtue is to get into the habit of doing something for others every day. Not for the punks who don’t deserve it, or merely expect it without appreciation, but for those who need it. Do not become someone who is solely obsessed with getting what he wants at all costs. And don’t waste your life in endless paranoia over enemy action. The world is neither all good nor all bad, so be grateful for the good and seek to heal the bad. Be concerned with the welfare of others, not to your own detriment, but as a matter of general principle. Virtue is the best of all protections against enemies and gives them the least opportunity to tear you down.

Sometimes it takes years, especially when you are younger, for the smoke to clear and for you to realize who is cool and who isn’t, who is worth your time and who is bad news, who is on your side and who never really was. The quicker you can see people’s true colors, the better.

Now that I am older I look back and one of my biggest regrets is the times when I did not see sooner who I should have stayed with and who I should have avoided. Some people are awesome and others are a fucking nightmare. A relationship is an important choice. This person has more power to raise you up to the stars, or smash you down to ruin, than almost anyone else you will encounter. Even if you are ‘just having fun’ this applies.

“Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends…”