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LooksMaxing Tutorial – How To Be The Hot Guy That Women Notice

“It’s your duty to be beautiful… If you want to be loved.”

Looks are the single biggest factor in determining your attractiveness – and this goes for both males and females.

If you look great, eyes will go up when you enter a room. People will notice you. Women will smile at you when you look at them. Women will make and hold eye contact with you more than is necessary. If you approach, they will start fussing over their hair, suddenly becoming concerned over their physical appearance whereas a moment before they were unconcerned with it.

If you look really great, women will deliberately position themselves near you in the hope that you notice them. If you are in the club, women will come and dance near you and ‘put on a display’, becoming louder, dancing more sexily, hoping to catch your attention. You may catch them clocking you with a sudden over-the-shoulder look right at you to see if you are clocking their display (great sign). Confident women may even open you directly (initiate conversation). If you are already in conversation, their eyes will widen, they may twirl or play with their hair and they will focus intently on you, happy to give you their undivided attention – rather than having arms protectively folded and eyes that wander around the room. If you post an online dating profile, you will get several unsolicited messages per day from women. The better you look, the more messages you will get, the bolder women become and the more extraordinary the things they will do in order to get and keep your attention.

If none of the above things are happening, then either you need to get your eyes tested or – more likely – you are just not looking all that striking and are being treated as wallpaper. If you post an online dating profile and you don’t get lots of messages from women, then you are not looking all that great. Sorry. She has better looking options than you and sees you as “just another dude”. And if you don’t think women are really that concerned by looks; why have they taken to Tinder en masse? It enables them to filter by looks at unprecedented speed. Women are massively influenced by looks and this single fact absolutely dictates the rules of the game.

I know, this is a brutal reality check but it really is true – and the sooner you can suck it up, the sooner you can take action. How many women have called you “handsome” this week? How many women have opened you out of the blue? How many unsolicited messages did you receive from women? Develop your peripheral awareness and use the amount of actual attention you are getting as an accurate yardstick of how good looking you are. Do NOT ask women if they think you are good looking because you will not get a straight answer if they do not think you are good looking. You will get a “you are fine” or “you are not bad” or “just be confident” or some other watered down nonsense. They also don’t want to have to teach you how to be a man. Be aware also that women are often not conscious of how much they are influenced by looks, and that good looks create a “halo effect” that cause them to see you are “interesting” or have various other positive qualities.

The good news is that there are many things you can do in order to increase your attractiveness and the goal of this tutorial is to enable you to raise yourself by at least two “points”. It will take some hard work, some introspection and some commitment but you CAN do this – and it is absolutely worth it because you will get tangible gains in your success in attracting women. If you are single, you will get more attention. When women see other women checking you out, their interest will grow – and if you are already in a relationship, your girlfriend will want more sex, more often. And your chances of getting laid will simply go up – especially when you also improve your logistics, your game and your social status.

Being an “average man”, and in particular being average looking, simply doesn’t cut it in today’s world. Why? Because in the age of social media, women have tons of choices and are getting constant attention. She therefore has an inflated sense of her own sexual marketplace value and is holding out for “the hot guy” that she feels she deserves. So you need to cut through the pack and stand out.

The Red Pill Truth

Step one is to accept and own the red pill truth that attraction rules the way women treat you. If women are treating you poorly, it is because they are not attracted to you. Yes it is good to be a “man of virtue”, but be aware that this in itself does absolutely nothing for whether she is attracted to you – and attempting to attract her with these qualities will most likely cause her to see you as a “simp” or a “white knight”. A lot of guys get this wrong because a lot of women say that they want a guy who is nice, charming etc. What they didn’t tell you is that what they really want is a guy who is hot as fuck and gives her lots of attention.

But it is the hot-as-fuck part that will get her to chase you…

Start putting yourself first for a change! Take her off the pedestal in your own mind and put yourself back on it. YOU are the one who belongs on the pedestal in your own mind! Own it! There. There you are. Take a good look at yourself. Are you the man you want to be? No? Then it’s time to raise your game. Because that’s your job as a man: To be the most awesome version of yourself you can possibly be. Never put someone else on that pedestal. You belong on there. Never forget this.

Now that’s self-esteem handled, let’s get on to the art of looking damn good… 😉

Looking good involves numerous individual characteristics, the more of which you have the better looking you will be perceived as being. Improve as many as you can but take careful note of which ones are the most important. Resources are always limited and you should use them to your greatest advantage…

Facial attractiveness

The most important single aspect of a man’s attractiveness is his face. This is an in-depth topic and much scientific study has been done in order to determine the characteristics of an attractive face. It has all been scientifically worked out. It’s a challenge to overcome difficult genetics without taking extreme and potentially risky measures such as plastic surgery, however there is much else a man can do.

The science of facial attractiveness has been written up in full elsewhere. Rather than rewrite it all I am just going to link what I thought was a very interesting and useful tutorial – though take note, I think plastic surgery is an extreme measure that should only be used in extreme cases, and with full consideration of the various risks: The complete LOOKS MAXING guide.

Consider carefully the parts about nutrition, about skin care and the comment that someone made: “Facial hair is like makeup for men”.

Height

Most women objectify men very seriously based on their height – and it’s one of the more difficult aspects for a man to overcome – though certainly not impossible. Your options are pretty much to wear built-up shoes, and that’s about it. So do it. Platform shoes such as these awesome New Rock Boots can add 2 to 3 (or more) inches to your height (2 3/4 in the case of the shoes at the link) – and when you are lying down she is not going to be thinking about your height any more. You can also wear thick insoles / lifts in your shoes to bump up your height a little more.

To demonstrate an example of how astonishingly extreme women’s objectification of men’s height can be, Heightism Exposed and Heightism Report are Twitter accounts that have collected eye-popping examples of heightism from other tweets, mostly from women. Warning, many of the tweets collected here are extraordinarily offensive, a shocking testament to these women’s callous indifference and even hatred towards men they consider to have low value. If you had any illusions about women being the ‘fairer sex’ or some other nonsense like that, reading those tweets will bury it. These are female biological imperatives expressed uncut, from the safety of being behind the keyboard. She’s driven by biology – just like you.

Do note however that despite the fact that height is clearly “trendy” for women to hate on, strong cards in other aspects can overcome shortness. Tom Cruise for example is 5’7″ but had legions of female fans in his day. Charlie Chaplin was a diminutive 5’4″, married his 18 year old love at the age of 54 and sired his 11th child at the age of 72!! Prince was even shorter at either 5’2″ or 5’3″, depending on the source, but that didn’t stop him from becoming a superstar with an abundance of fine ladies in his life – as one might expect.

So don’t be disheartened if you are not tall. Do what you can, and remember the cards analogy from our SMV tutorial: Any and all strong cards are good, and strengths in one suit can overcome lesser cards in another. Make the best of what you have and raise your overall SMV in whatever ways you can.

Musculature / Physique / Body Fat

Probably one of the best things you can do for your looks is to lower your body fat and increase your musculature. Note also that individual preferences vary and that this is also variable depending on your culture – as the idealized physique is different in different countries. In Western countries, if you can achieve the “classic” male V-shaped physique, with powerful shoulders, defined abs, triceps, lats etc, you will be considered generally attractive. Lowering your body fat will also reduce under-chin fat and make your jawline and cheekbones more pronounced, improving your facial characteristics.

How muscular should you be? Interestingly, scientific study has shown that men’s ideas on what women would think of as an ideal male physique are often way off base, with men thinking that they need to be way more built than what women consider ideal. Women’s preference in musculature does however vary considerably. Some women only like very muscular guys, athletes and so on. Others go for the more “skinny rock star” physique.

But there is a well-established ‘median’ here which should be considered as your goal; the “Brad Pitt in Fight Club” physique. In a scientific study that allowed women to rank male torsos, without seeing the face, Brad’s torso came out as a hands-down winner over and above other more-ripped physiques as well as skinnier guys: The Ideal Male Physique — What girls want & what guys want to be. This is good news for men because this body shape is much more attainable than some of the ultra-muscular physiques that men think they need – and which women actually don’t find attractive! Note that Brad’s physique for the movie Fight Club, (which was the top physique chosen by women) was the result of rigorous training before the movie shoot and likely not the exact physique that he carries around daily.

Note of course that how women respond verbally may be different to how they respond physically – and their response to “alpha” males has been shown to vary at different times in their cycle.

Note also that it is not necessarily vital to be ripped in order to get girls – if your status is high and you have a very attractive face. Example – Tom Kaulitz of the band Tokyo Hotel (he’s the one with the big hair). Now this man is not by any stretch of the imagination muscular – but at the time that this photo was taken the band had legions of screaming female fans. Note however that he does have low body fat, is taller than his bandmates, and has exceptional facial features – jawline, cheekbones, eyebrows etc are all classic “model looks”. He also has “rock star hair” which is big, spiky and flamboyant (see the section on “peacocking” below).

Low body fat is highly desirable to many women, though you don’t want to go too far / look as though you are starving because too low body fat is also considered a turn-off. Again, refer to the link above about the ideal male physique, which breaks it down. It’s interesting to note that in ancient times, a broad torso was highly desired.
Look at the famous portrait of King Henry VIII in 1540, which exemplifies the idealized male of his era. He is about as broad as he is tall!! Having higher body fat was seen as a mark of high status – because you clearly had access to resources and were therefore a long way from being on the brink of starvation. Starvation was a very real thing in ancient times and so being too thin was considered to have lower survival and replication value. However now that food is generally available to all in first world countries, it is interesting to note how being overweight is now almost universally considered unattractive. Obesity is now more of a health risk than being skinny – high body fat is well known to lead to a shorter lifespan – so this is not just a vanity issue, it’s a very serious health concern also. Fat is a killer. Here’s a really great tutorial on losing the body fat and getting an attractive, lean physique.

Change your physique and you will notice the difference in how women respond to you. If you make great progress, don’t be surprised if women who were previously nice to you seem to become more disdainful. They may now be perceiving you as out of their league.

Peacocking

Looks can also be used to display status. This is an important biological principle that applies in the animal as well as human realm and its observation has led to the pickup artists’ strategy of peacocking.

This word came about because the male peacock competes with other males by attempting to display the brightest, biggest and most opulent plumage to the female, with the winner being the one to mate with her. A person who “peacocks” is thus one who displays large, bright or otherwise deliberately noticeable clothing, hair and/or accessories in order to signal high SMV.

The grand, iridescent, erect display of the peacock indicates good genetics, vitality and access to resources. It also indicates “alpha status” as there is no fear of being noticed. That monumental, gaudy and even somewhat ridiculous plumage is awkward to carry around; it certainly does not make him able to fight better or run faster! Yet interestingly, this has the “inverse psychological” effect of making him appear massively confident, even fearless. He is able to risk such an extravagant display and get away with it without being attacked by other males or predators; he is a winner!

Most men are afraid to be noticed, to stand out, typically due to the fear of negative attention and “social shaming” from both other males and females. So they “dress down” and make a great effort to look normal in order to blend in and not be singled out for attention. This has the effect on women of making the male appear lacking in confidence; whereas a man who creates a more striking look is immediately seen as more confident and therefore more attractive. We may look at rock stars, pimps and impresarios, with their garish, gaudy, over the top dress sense and think “what a showboat!” – but there is no doubt that it works. It overrides our rational sense and connects with our innate, primal instincts – which are of course the ones we want to tap into in order to spike female attraction.

Here are some textbook examples of men who have taken peacocking to extremes – with great success:

The “Sun King” Louis XIV of France, alternative models Perish Dignam and Valentin Winter, rock stars such as David Bowie, Robert Smith of “The Cure”, Bill Kaulitz of the band Tokyo Hotel, Movie Star Johnny Depp as Don Juan, old school pimps such as Bishop Don “Magic” Juan and Pimp Snooky (love ’em or hate ’em… but they are peacocking in a big way!)

Now of course, you don’t have to take it as far as these men, but you cannot deny the reality that it causes them to stand out in a big way. With peacocking, nothing succeeds like excess. It’s interesting to observe that none of the above men are “tough guys”. They are all super fly looking motherfuckers – but several of the examples given are quite effeminate, with painted nails, makeup and so on – yet women are delirious over them: The examples I chose all have or had large numbers of female fans, or lovers, and / or their own harem.

Take notes and don’t be afraid to be noticed. A good “rule of thumb” to get started with this is that it’s good to have one “show piece” item of attire – whether it is a hat, boots, hair, jacket or piece of jewelry. Other items then play a “supporting role”. Wearing at least one “interesting” item is also beneficial in that it gives a woman who wants to open you an “easy” conversation starter – they can say “I like your ______”. This is then the perfect opportunity for you to tell a DHV story.

To take peacocking further, add more showpieces. The bold, striking looks created by the men listed above combine multiple show pieces to great effect.

Hair

Aside from being the human equivalent of plumage, which indicates vitality, the shape of the hair greatly affects the perceived shape and size of the head. A good haircut in the modern style will bump up a man’s attractiveness by at least one point and will make you feel sharp as well. Modern masculine styles typically increase the perceived “squareness” of the face, accentuating the jawline as if continuing its vertical line as high as possible, and creating the look of a broad, flat hairline and forehead. Dye covering grey hair will generally make a man look younger. As for balding, this is too in depth a topic to cover here – but do what you can. Modern hair transplant techniques seem to have made great strides in recent times. If possible, find pictures of male models that have hairstyles that you like and think would look good on you; this will help a hairdresser create the look you want.

Posture And Body Language

More important than most people realize. Good posture IMMEDIATELY raises your attractiveness by at least one point, possibly more. This is something that you can start fixing right now and it absolutely works! The importance of this cannot be overstated.

How a man carries himself is critical to how he is perceived. Is he cowering, shoulders forward, chin lowered, eyes downcast, as if defeated by life? Or does he stride confidently, shoulders back, chest proud, chin up, eyes level, smiling like the sun as if to say “Behold me! I am a God – and today we celebrate life!” Just this shift alone can get you laid, I promise you.

So add a bit of swagger in order to communicate that you are a man who thinks highly of himself. Remember the pedestal that I mentioned in the introduction? Get back on there! You are important, dammit – so stand like it! When you sit, lean back as though you are King of all you survey (because you are!) Don’t be afraid to take up space and to “own the space around you”. Remember that you are a magnificent child of the stars. A Son of God, if you will. You ARE the Winning Sperm (that already makes you a one-in-fifty-million winner before you were even born!) See yourself as a King and the other men around you as Kings also.

Adopting a confident psychology such as the above will immediately help your posture. There are however very many other details, and body language is absolutely huge when it comes to the topic of attraction. We need a full tutorial on this so look out for that one.

Beyond momentary posture there is your long term posture – and it is important to note that your body adapts its shape to what you habitually do. One of the great postural problems of the modern era is that people spend the majority of their lives sitting in chairs – which causes terrible postural problems, leading over time to anterior pelvic tilt and a very unattractive spinal curvature that makes you appear fatter and less confident than you actually are! If you have a sedentary lifestyle you will absolutely need to take breaks, consider a standing desk and take action to counteract this habitual posture. Another terrible habit is staring down at a mobile phone, which leads to text neck – an unsightly forward droop of the neck which can also lead to significant neck problems over time in addition to looking terrible. I am not qualified to give medical advice but there are tutorials on how to fix these – all over Youtube.

Clothes

As the saying goes, the clothes make the man. A man should pay attention to his wardrobe; gradually acquiring a collection of clothes that make him look great, and having them tailored when necessary so that they fit well. You will find that the more clothes you acquire, the more ‘combinations’ you are able to create that look cool. You want ideally to have several great looks so that you always have something cool to wear and can ‘keep it fresh’ – not always being seen wearing the same jacket etc.

Be aware of the various “handsome guy stereotypes” that are common in our culture. Many women have already “decided” that they want a certain type of guy – for example goth girls will probably want a hot goth guy boyfriend. However it is generally advisable not to make yourself too “niche” because by doing so you would be limiting your options.

Make an effort to take care of your clothes. Find a good seamstress / tailor and have them make any adjustments or repairs needed – or make them yourself if you have the skill of course! See your wardrobe as an investment that should last a lifetime. If you find something that you really, really like – buy two or more, because the same styles will not be around in a few years time and then once it’s worn out, it’s gone.

In general a slimmer fit will show off your physique better. Women often complain about men who wear big, sloppy t-shirts and pants that do nothing at all for their figure. She wants to see what you’ve got! 😉 Consider also tailor-made shirts and, if you can afford it, a tailored suit – as well-cut, properly fitted clothes will add another point – or more – to your attractiveness!

Another wardrobe tip is that clothes can get stale if left in drawers or a wardrobe for a long time. Some good tips here: 1) an open packet of baking soda left in the corner acts as an odor remover. 2) Collect up all the silica gel packets that get left over from vitamins and other product packaging and keep them in your wardrobe or clothes drawers as they act as dehumidifiers, reducing mustiness. 3) An open bag of cedarwood chips; cedarwood is a moth repellent and also gives a lovely fragrance that is considered one of the masculine fragrances. It will only give a hint to your clothes but it’s a good hint…

Grooming

You should smell damn good, and you should not have bad breath, bits of food stuck in your teeth, hairs sticking out of your nose and so on. These ‘universal basics’ are the same for all, yet there are different ‘levels’ of grooming expected in different social and economic circles. Fashions regarding body and facial hair seem to change every decade so you are probably best advised to keep up with the times. Get your teeth straightened, cleaned, whitened. Pluck those sticking out nasal hairs. This is another topic that could get lengthy but there’s no need to reinvent the wheel so just go to Youtube and look for “male grooming tips”!

Final Note

The above are the most important points of looking good. Hard work is the key to success in life – so get to work and notice the attention you receive going up! And do note that as a man, time is not on your side. You have a limited time to get it together and celebrate your brief moment as a King in the best way you can – by being fully alive.

Be aware also that for a man looks are not everything. Looks are very important, but there are many examples of men who were very successful with women for reasons other than their looks. You can still get the girl if you have great game – but looks help more than most men realize and most men simply don’t do enough to help themselves in this area; thus giving those who do a big advantage. See our tutorial How To Raise Your SMV for a full breakdown of the various attraction triggers (of which looks are one) and a deeper understanding of their interplay with each other.

How To Raise Your SMV And Get The Girl

Note – if you haven’t read the post Decoding SMV please check that one out as it is a prerunner to this one.

Much has been written about the various aspects of the game, however there appears to be one topic about which none can agree: On what a man should best focus his efforts in order to improve his SMV (sexual marketplace value) and increase his odds of getting the girl he wants?

Some say that game is everything and that looks don’t matter. Some say that looks are everything and game doesn’t matter. Some say that if you have enough money, nothing else matters. And others say that your perceived status / power is the fundamental driver of attraction.

They can’t all be right.

The fact of the matter is that any of these qualities, if strong enough, can be enough to pull the girl; and the more you have, the better:

Game: RSD Owen’s infield videos of his crazy, daring pickups as a self-confessed “short balding ginger”, prove the value of game and that pure charisma can be enough.

Status: On the other hand, here’s footage (great documentary by the way) of female fans going crazy over Sting of the band The Police as the band’s star was on the rise. It’s an intense, potentially even dangerous moment – he’s literally just attempting to leave the building after a show in town. Listen to the screaming when he appears in the doorway! Note that he didn’t do anything whatsoever to game them; it’s his talent, rock star status and looks that win all this adulation. Note also that he is not at all confident in this moment and even admits that it is scary. Note also the “alpha female” (top right of the open doorway) who is calling his name seductively and really giving it her best shot to get him. She has climbed up above the others and positioned herself for best possible proximity effect.

Looks: Now here’s a male model – Inkstaboy – with thousands of female fans swooning over his looks. Just scroll through the comments. This is pure aesthetics, nothing to do with any verbal charm, money or game whatsoever. He’s a good looking lad but importantly he really knows how to make the best of himself visually. A textbook example of how good aesthetics and social proof create a “halo effect”.

And we all know that money can buy people’s time, attention… and sexual favors.

In Order To Play The Game, You Need To Know The Rules

Men are in essence simple creatures. They don’t like to be confused. They like a simple set of rules and a goal, so that they can take action. Tell a man exactly what he needs to do in order to get what he desires and he will attack it with vigour and confident, joyful self-assurance. However if the man is confused, not knowing which is his best foot forward, he runs into problems and even depression. Most of men’s problems in the game spring from bad advice, no advice and from prioritizing the wrong things.

In order to grasp this topic and make it simple, the analogy I like to use is that of the stylish, elegant card game Bridge. The cards are dealt and each hand will have strengths and weaknesses in the various “suits” – hearts, clubs, diamonds, spades. You bid to your innate strengths in order to determine which suit becomes “trumps”, however any and all strong cards, whichever suit they are in, are advantageous. The beauty of the game of bridge, is that strategy is the greatest part of the game in the long run, in particular learning to make the best of what you have.

As an interesting aside, the “game of cards” analogy is actually quite appropriate, because the suits are symbolic of human character archetypes. Thus hearts = charisma/game/talent, diamonds = wealth, clubs = status/power, spades = aesthetics (note how the spade shape looks like a hand mirror from the old days? Just a coincidence…)

You should note also that extreme strengths in one suit can help you overcome shortcomings in another: Thus RSD Owen’s incredible game overcomes his below-average looks, while astonishing good looks can make up for extreme shortcomings in terms of charisma. (note, the video at the link is shocking and eye opening!)

You can now see the classic ‘mistake’ that gets made. People see one person with great game crushing it and they jump to incorrect conclusions like “it’s all game, looks don’t matter”. Whereas if you take a step back and use the “bridge” analogy, you have a much clearer picture: All strong cards are good and you should maximize your hand in every way that you can.

It should be apparent now that despite what various “gurus” are attempting to sell you, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to how you should best improve yourself. Work on yourself in all areas, but understand, maximize and play to your strengths while improving your weaknesses in order to increase your overall SMV, which is a combination of all the aspects I have delineated.

I do however think it very important that some aspects should in general be given higher priority than others, and I would strongly advise to put them in correct priority order. You have finite resources of time and effort, thus you must allocate them judiciously in order to make the best of yourself. It could be argued that men who are “naturally successful” with women have simply allocated their resources well and worked hard on these aspects of themselves.

In order or priority, then:

1) Looks: The most important of all. Do not ignore this! Every man should do what he can in order to improve his visual appeal – including both his bodily aesthetics and his wardrobe. No matter where you find yourself now, you should be able to raise your looks by 1 or 2 points, or quite possibly, by several more. Looks are typically underrated in importance and almost all men are not making enough effort in this regard. Check out our full tutorial on LooksMaxing – How To Be The Hot Guy That Women Notice.

2) Game: If you can study one game tutorial alone it is generally advised to study The Mystery Method – as its decoding of the game is built on very solid foundations which hold true even today. Game includes numerous factors from logistics through to body language, approaching, demonstrating value, voice tone, kino escalation and more.

3) Status / Social Proof: Status as far as male-female sexual dynamics are concerned can be simplified into two factors: Tribal leader (admired by men) and Preselection (already desired by other women) aka “Men want to be you, women want to be with you”. Improving your status among men is is generally improved best by rising to the top in your chosen field of endeavor. Social dominance also plays a part. Eminence, talent and skills in your occupation lead to high status. It’s also vital to understand your own strengths and to play to them in order to shine. Another important aspect is to increase the size of your social circle, include people in your social circle who talk you up but exclude people who talk you down or pour salt on your game in any way. You cannot permit people to diminish your status in this way and you should be very wary, because people will do it; sometimes even blatantly / in front of your face. Improving your preselection includes various strategies to improve your perception by women as a man who is desired by other women. Textbook examples of men who mastered status game include Peter Stringfellow (appropriately nicknamed the “King of Clubs” and rumored to have slept with 3,000 women), Hugh Hefner of course – and probably the best tutorial on this topic comes from Adam Lyons, who mastered social proof and what he called “entourage game”.

4) Money: This is typically overrated in importance when it comes to attracting women. It is much less important than most men think it is – unless you just want to pay for escorts, exotic dancers, sugar babies or whatever – in which case money gives you all the options and the control that you could want. Just remember if you do that it’s the money they love, not you. For the rest of us – get your money handled so that your own life is under control and so that obstacles in the way of your leisure interests can be removed. Money can also buy you opportunities in the sense that you can place yourself more easily in situations where there are are an abundance of beautiful women. In short, money should be used strictly in order to improve your logistics, your own quality of life and for other forms of self-improvement – and not to try to attract in and of itself.

One last point – as a man, time is not on your side. You really do have a limited amount of time to get your shit together and achieve whatever it is you are going to achieve in life. Most simply don’t work hard enough.

One thing we can all agree on is that apathy / inaction is the worst possible course you can take. “Just be yourself and the right one will come along” is the most terrible advice imaginable and should be ignored absolutely by all men! The burden of performance is always upon a man and men are biologically hardwired to either succeed in replicating or have their genetics “unceremoniously snuffed from existence”. The winning sperm did not “just be himself”. He outswam the entire competition! A man absolutely should give his best possible efforts to making the best of himself. Self improvement is your friend and, although it is decidedly un-PC to say it: Winning Is Everything.

The Consequences Of High SMV

It’s important to remember that sexual marketplace value is a great power in the modern world – and that power has consequences. It can cause good or harm – and when someone suddenly has more power than they are used to, they run the risk of destroying either their own life or the lives of other people. I am absolutely serious about this! The more power you have, the more intensely people will want to try to have a piece of you…

When your SMV is extremely high, women will do surprising and even extraordinary things in order to try to get with you.

It’s interesting how the whole “men must make the first move” thing goes COMPLETELY out of the window when male SMV hits a certain critical high point. Witness the behavior of women around rock stars – from throwing their panties at them to literally lunging at them tongue first… I remember one woman (very attractive, too) describing “meeting” Simon Le Bon (handsome lead singer of the famous 80’s band Duran Duran) at the height of his fame and saying proudly “I managed to get my tongue in his mouth before the security pulled me away”. How’s that for making the first move? His perceived SMV was so high that this absurd, almost grotesque “trophy moment” was reminisced about fondly, years later by the woman in question – as he epitomized her biological ideals in terms of survival and replication value. He was her Prince Charming – a man who held all the aces – and a woman will instinctively prefer to have a small piece of Prince Charming than a man of lesser value all to herself.

One more grotesque example: The pianist Franz Liszt (1811-1886) was noted for generating hysteria in female fans. He was one of the first true “rock stars”. He had such high SMV that there were numerous recorded instances where women completely lost control of themselves in public. Fainting in his presence was not unheard of. On one occasion, as he was playing the piano, a silver snuff box fell out of his pocket and bounced off the stage. Two women lunged for it and began brawling, right there in front of everyone. But nothing beats the case of the “cigar butt lady”. So enamored of Liszt was she that she picked up a cigar butt that he had discarded and put this stinking object in a locket that she wore over her chest for the rest of her life.

The higher the perceived SMV of the man, the more bold and forward the female will be – almost without limits. Women will deliberately create proximity to an attractive man (an “indirect game” tactic of placing herself either near the man or directly in his path). And if your presence is sharp enough, women will open you (initiate a conversation) rather than waiting to be opened by you. I’ve even had a woman open me with the line “I want to fuck you now” (true story, I guess I was looking good that night!)

The higher your perceived value, the more aggressively she will compete with other females for your attention. Men do not often see the more competitive stuff go down because women typically have much more highly evolved situational awareness in this regard. Not only will they place themselves front and center, but they will do what they have to do to make sure the other girls don’t get a crack at you. They are adept at “shooting their daggers” at other women when the high-value man is not looking, and then when he IS looking, maintaining their “sugar and spice and all things nice” demeanor! Trust me, it happens! And the higher your SMV, the more absurd and ridiculous all this stuff gets. I’ve had women that I have known for no more than 30 seconds in a nightclub physically grab me by the hand and yank me away to a more private location when they sensed that I might be about to be snatched away by other women. I’ve also caught women signaling visually to other attractive women across a room with a finger drawn back and forth rapidly across the throat “He’s mine and if you even try you are fucking dead”.

The same general principle of people making crazy moves applies of course to very attractive women, who may have to deal with stalkers and other forms of harassment from men who will go to inappropriate, absurd and even criminal lengths in their attempts to mate with her. The higher your perceived SMV (male or female), the more extreme the lengths people will go to in order to try to get to you. So be careful, be situationally aware and of course if you are a real celebrity, billionaire etc, you will need a security team in order to protect you from the mad, the bad, the infatuated and the desperate.

People with super high status, ironically, may need deliberate strategies to lower their SMV in order to get people to leave them alone! A classic example was the band Tokio Hotel who resorted to going out in disguise after ongoing problems with female stalkers.

Another aspect of this is that if you become someone’s heaven, first giving them a taste of SMV paradise and then breaking it off, it can cause them to lose it completely. So respect the game and respect power… don’t abuse it, and watch your back.

Decoding SMV (Sexual Marketplace Value)

I’m not particularly fond of the term SMV (Sexual Marketplace Value) – because “marketplace” has connotations of sex as a commodity that is bought or traded. However SMV is the term that is in common parlance, so that’s the term we will use; and the commodification metaphor does in some ways suffice – because we are making choices and being chosen and there are comparisons of value going on.

In the most simple terms, people (consciously or subconsciously) assign a value to a person in terms of whether they would be a suitable romantic / sexual partner. This is often done within seconds. A person is seen as “high SMV” when you look at them longingly thinking “Oh God, I so would”. A person with low SMV is someone about whom you think “no way”. It is also possible for a person’s value in your eyes to go up or down from moment to moment, depending on factors such as how they carry themselves, who they reveal themselves to be once you get to know them better, their skills and attentiveness as a lover, the “mood of the moment” and even on whether they are “on form” that day. SMV is always assigned in the present – though it is in some ways influenced by past or future projections. More on that later.

A rating scale of 1 to 10 has been an arbitrary (and somewhat crude) measure of SMV that is used in society, typically among men; with a “10” being considered the epitome of desirability and physical beauty, every man’s “dream girl”.

However there is much nuance and psychology behind people’s behavior in this arena – and everyone’s personal “scale” and ideal of perfection is different. There is also noted difference in whether someone is perceived as having short-term or long-term relationship potential. Anyway here are some details:

1) It’s quite common for both men and women to assign themselves a higher SMV than that which would be assigned to them by others. Physically attractive women are showered with compliments all day long on social media, perhaps getting hundreds or even thousands of likes on their images on Instagram for example. Social media validation, or the lack thereof, can greatly influence and even skew a person’s perception of their own value. There are also many tricks-of-the-trade used to gain social proof on social media, so don’t read too much into it, especially in regards to your own self esteem, if you are not Instagram Famous.

Straight men also tend to regard themselves as better looking than they are. Scientific studies have demonstrated this. Straight men also don’t typically make as much of an effort to maximize their looks (aka. “Looksmax”) as women, because of the widely-held belief that they “ought to be good enough as they are”, and the perpetuation of the “blue pill” social lie that “looks don’t matter” and that their virtues alone (aka. the “white knight” attitude) ought to be enough to make a girl wet. This belief is of course absolutely false. Looks matter hugely! Women love a man who raises his SMV as high as he can and makes the absolute best of his appearance. Devoted care towards one’s aesthetics is an attractive quality that indicates self-esteem. Every girl’s crazy ’bout a sharp dressed (and well built) man.

2) People’ behavior towards others is based on their perception of both their own and the other person’s value. This is important.

People assume mistakenly that “everybody wants the 10” – but it is not actually true, at least not in the sense of what they go for: If a person views someone else’s SMV as way above theirs, they may rule themselves out as a potential suitor. A person with very high SMV has many options and a lot of power in the social arena. So the suitor might simply assume (either correctly or incorrectly) that they do not have a chance, or might feel that their own value is not high enough compared to the other options their target will have. You will occasionally hear the very best looking women bemoaning the fact that most men don’t have the balls to approach them. It’s because the “SMV gap” is too great and the majority of men have already disqualified themselves. Men have a hard time acting normal around women whom they perceive has having higher SMV than themselves.

Interestingly, women do this too. Both women and men will stay in the shadows if they don’t think they stand a chance. Which is sad in a way. You know the saying, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. So you might as well put your bid in – and there are men who achieve success purely based on this principle, that they always take their chances. I know a man whose “lay count” is over 1000 including allegedly over 100 in one year, which is just fucking extraordinary. His secret? He would literally approach at any opportunity. He was fearless. Back in the day if he was driving along the road and a beautiful lady was walking the sidewalk, he would loop around, park up, get out and walk up to her and just say “Hi, I saw you and just thought I would come and say hello, what are you up to?” Sometimes I would cringe at his game because it seemed so ham – and it often was – but he more than made up for it with sheer numbers, ballsy approaches and not hesitating to move things forward with a twinkle in his eye. Interestingly too, getting rejected was like water off a duck’s back to him. He didn’t care a rat’s ass.

If a person views someone else’s SMV as very low, they will not wish to waste any time on them and may even find their approach / presence objectionable or even disgusting. Many women who have very high SMV feel annoyed and even insulted if a man of very low perceived SMV approaches them. “I did all this and I get YOU?” That this person feels as though they have a chance seems demeaning to them, unless they have the grace to accept that every moth will approach a bright lamp; and that it is still, actually, a compliment. Though after she has been hit on 20 times that day and each of those men is wasting her precious time that could better be spent on “Mr Right”, she is bound to get frustrated. In general, people treat people according to their perceived value. Don’t take it personally, just raise your value. As Mystery said “She’s not a bitch. She’s just a bitch to you.”

3) For a man, it is generally considered advisable to be 1-2 “arbitrary units” of SMV above that of your target.

If your value is too high in the eyes of the target, they may feel insecure, or even become extremely uncomfortable and awkward (aka “star struck”) around you. If the person feels that you have too much “power” in the SMV dynamic, they will be afraid to make a move and may deliberately push you away as a form of self protection; requiring that you lower your value – typically with a gesture of sincerity, in order for them to feel comfortable with you.

If on the other hand your perception of your own value is below that of your target, this will be interpreted instinctively as low self-esteem – and this is a total turn-off for women. Men think that adulation improves their chances but the opposite is in fact true. If a man is looking up to her, in the manner of one who thinks her value is ABOVE his, this signals to her that she can in fact do better – and this will lessen her attraction. She wants the man that has value above hers! Pick any one of her top instagram photos and look at the legions of flattering worshippers. Are they improving their chances? No, they are absolutely destroying them!

Now can you see how game can raise your SMV and the lack of it can destroy it? This is why chasing ruins your chances. It lowers your value in her eyes. Your communication patterns, your appearance, your posture and numerous other factors all influence your SMV.

As men, the dream we all dream of is NOT “to get the girl we think is gorgeous but feel as though she could slip through our fingers at any moment”. The dream is to get the girl who we think is gorgeous and who looks at us as though she has won the lottery. Most men will take the 8.5 who looks at him with stars in her eyes over the 10 who looks semi-bored any day of the week. Feeling as though you could lose someone at any moment, because their SMV is way too high, is a terrible feeling of dread.

It’s similar for women. Their Fairytale Prince DOES look at her with stars in his eyes, BUT also (in her eyes) ABSOLUTELY MUST display SMV above hers FIRST. This is the important part of the equation that is not discussed! Male supplication does not raise her attraction, and it repels a woman who perceives your SMV as below theirs.

You do want your partner to feel that you have options, and that they need to treat you well because if they don’t, someone else will. However too much of this leads to insecurity and jealousy. The balance of value is a tricky thing to achieve but it ensures relationship stability. Both parties must place a high value on each other for a relationship to work, and being “in love” is that mutual feeling that you are each other’s best option for happiness. But one can see how difficult this becomes in reality. Both parties must have options yet must be choosing to ignore them. Sadly many relationships are one sided, with one party being the eager one and the other thinking “This person is (barely) good enough until something better comes along”.

These days, female 9s and 10s have so many options that for many of them, their own “ambition” is to snag a rock star, professional athlete, CEO, male model and so on. Your own SMV has to be extraordinarily high for this female to think of you as the best thing she could get – and a typical manner in which this value is communicated is via “social proof” of being seen to be desired by other high value women and regarded as a leader by other men. “Women want to be with him, men want to be him”. Your game better be tight!

However, there are many female 9s & 10s who don’t necessarily go for someone famous, but go for a man who has a more quiet strength. It’s interesting to observe the boyfriends that top models have. Occasionally they pose with their SO on Instagram etc and “show him off to the world”. In many cases he is not a famous rock star but simply a cool but surprisingly understated dude. There is something about the “limelight” that it is rare for both parties in a successful couple to be vying for it. It tends to follow that one wants to be in the spotlight and the other is content not to be in it – and these personality types in fact complement each other in a relationship. In the past I clearly remember one girl – beautiful, in fact – turning me down because she felt she would be “forever in my shadow” (those were her exact words!)

4) As a consequence of all this, and in summary, the best thing you can possibly do is to raise your own SMV so that your dream girl looks at you with stars in her eyes, rather than as wallpaper.

It will be in your best interests to be seen as The Fairytale Prince. Reinvent yourself if necessary. Remember that SMV is assigned in the present and that what you were in the past is less important than what you are now and what you will be in the future. If anything, signs of self-improvement are regarded very positively as they indicate trajectory. People love someone whose star is on the rise and whose potential seems limitless. Be that person. And don’t make the classic male mistake of placing too much emphasis on past performance. Don’t try to sell yourself to a woman based on the credentials of who you used to be. She does not fucking care. It’s who you are today that matters.

What’s interesting is that in order to appear as The Fairytale Prince, it typically (and controversially) requires NOT that you become more of a “nice guy” – chivalrous, etc – but that you Demonstrate Higher Value in primal terms: Showing yourself as Leader of Men, Already Desired by Women, have access to resources, great aesthetics, charismatic, stylish and well groomed, unattached, doesn’t chase, etc.

Here’s the tutorial on How To Raise Your SMV.

How To Handle Logistics: A Five Step Plan To 10x Your Pulling

Logistics, put simply, is the art and science of having your shit together – which enables a smooth flow when it comes to pulling someone back to your pad.

Logistics are really the #1 problem in most people’s lives. Most people, in fact, are prevented from pulling and are hampered in their social life on a regular basis… by logistical obstacles – such as poverty, poor health, the grind or any other awkward BS that has not been handled and thus gets in the way.

A huge number of the problems that people have in the game can in fact be traced back to poor logistics – and this is an interesting point because it is less often discussed than other “game issues” such as what your opening line is going to be. If you have your logistics handled, then other areas flow more easily and more effortlessly and your social life can flourish. It’s all in the preparation.

If you are genuinely interested in having a great “single person lifestyle”, then give this document serious consideration. Having all these basics handled gives you huge opportunities to enjoy yourself – and having a great lifestyle with options will increase your overall charm, confidence and quality of life. And you will be amazed how much easier pulling becomes when there are no bumps in the road.

Examples of shitty logistics

• Your pad being 55 miles out of town in the countryside.

• You have no totally private space to call your own.

• Your car is full of trash, bits of used chewing gum, the “service engine soon” light is on and you have no money for gas.

• You have 3 weeks worth of dirty laundry piled up in the corner of your room.

• You are sofa-surfing and sleeping on the sofa of your friends house – and you’ve been instructed to not bring anyone back after 8pm.

• You have a rotten, stinking cold and it’s the only weekend off you have in the next 6 months.

• You went out for the night in a car with a group of 5, it’s 2am, the club is kicking out and all the others want to go to another location, so you have no realistic option but to tag along.

• You have to be up in 3 hours to go to work.

• You are in town on your motorbike but you have no spare helmet with you.

• You haven’t slept in 2 days and are zoning out.

• The hot water tank at your flat is broken, or the electricity has gone out, or any other variation of cold / dark / damp.

• Anything else that could be considered a “bump in the road” or obstacle that obstructs the smooth flow of events and gets in the way.

You can pull with all these logistical hurdles – but the point is you are making it unnecessarily hard for yourself – and your success rate will be massively diminished.

Can you see how in every case, these poor logistics are caused by poor organization and poor prior planning? So, get your life in order first and THEN go out on the pull. Things will start to become easier. Other issues in your game can start to be seen for what they actually are, and then you can fix them.

Logistic 1: The basics

You should be healthy, in shape, independent, have an income and have your shit together in general. Handle any “life problems” that would interfere i.e. don’t be broke, or caught up in any problematic situation. Be drama-free. Be fit. Being in great shape is probably more important than ever these days, where people are inundated with more options than ever before. Don’t skimp on this! You should also have some actual free time and be what is known as “emotionally available”.

Logistic 2: The pad

If you have your own nice, private apartment close to the attract location, then it makes things easy. If you are asked “What are you up to?” by a person interested in getting to know you more intimately, it can go somewhere – because you can simply say “I’m going back to my place – it’s just a couple blocks away – to spin some records and have some tea and cake, wanna come?”

Location is hugely important. If your pad is half a block from meet/attract locations, in town, near to where lots of people hang out, then you will have social and potentially romantic opportunities every single day. So not only do your overall numbers go up by virtue of the fact that you have more chances, but the psychology of knowing that you have more chances means that you are more relaxed and carefree, which improves your game still further. Pulling is hampered by living out in bumfuck. Now don’t get me wrong, I love the countryside. But when it comes to social life, how many people are going to go all the way out there per year to visit you? About 3. And if you invite them back spontaneously, say after the nightclub, it’s suddenly a major commitment that they simply might not be prepared for, in addition to the “Where the hell are you taking me?” factor. Whereas if your pad is 50 yards away, the likelihood they will say yes is vastly increased. If they meet two nice people that night, one of whom lives one block away and is having an after-party, and the other lives 55 miles away in some unheard-of neck of the woods, then guess who gets the pull? The exception to this rule is if you have the kind of country residence where you can hold grand parties of sufficient calibre that people will be willing to travel in order to attend; but even so – unless you are Gatsby – you are unlikely to be able to get the crowd more than two or three times per year.

This is simple facts. When I was in college, I spent the first year living at my parents, 10 miles away. I got the odd girl here and there. But as soon as I moved to town, I literally had girls in my bed every weekend.

Love the countryside? Work your ass off, get an in-town bachelor pad as well as a country spot and have the best of both worlds. If you are just in town for a long weekend, get a hotel suite or an Airbnb “whole apartment” for the weekend. No excuses, if you want to pull you have to respect the game. The major pickup “gurus” generally recommend moving to a major city if you want results. It just increases your options massively.

Your pad should be the kind of place that people would enjoy chilling at, even if they were not sexually interested in you – simply because it’s a dope place to hang out. When mixed sets (guys and girls) or groups of girls (not just groups of bros) are texting you saying “can we hang at your place after the club” – you know you’ve got it right.

Note, it does NOT need to be a millionaire’s mansion. In fact it is better for pulling if it is NOT, because that would actually change the tone of the interaction in a way that is not desirable. It just needs to be up together. Don’t trick off your paper.

Your pad should be clean, uncluttered, comfortable, tidy and at least modestly stylish. If someone is “weird” it is usually reflected in their home environment – their home is weird too! It’s a good idea to have your rooms organized according to their primary purpose. In other words, don’t have anything in the bedroom that is unrelated to relaxation, pleasure, sleep and sex. If you have a home office, put it in a different room to your general living area – because offices are usually cluttered, and less harmonious / relaxing than a social area should be. An office is “mentally busy” and should be the one room you generally keep locked and private. What is in there is NONE of anyone else’s business unless they are a business associate! If you need ideas for ways to improve the style of your place, look on Pinterest or google images for inspiration.

Make sure your home is “chick friendly” – i.e. not “anti-social” or off-putting in any way. This is important. The way you keep your home says a lot about your standards in life. If your bathroom stinks it will likely be assumed that your balls stink too. So all traces of “gross” bachelor habits – pubes in the bathtub, garbage can overflowing, dirty socks on the bedroom floor, dirty dishes in the sink etc – should be gone. Spruce up that nest, son! You should care about the quality of the experience of someone who is visiting your home.

Always over-deliver on promises. First of all, actually have what you say that you have. If you offer cake when inviting someone back, but have nothing but a couple of moldy old carrots in the fridge, then you just caused trust to diminish, rather than grow. However strive to have MORE than what you initially offered – so that people are pleasantly surprised. So if you offer tea, cake and records – then also have cool lighting, a gorgeous sofa to lounge on, a dope selection of DVDs and a widescreen TV if you are into that, etc etc.

You should be able to bust out some snacks, drinks or even make dinner at the drop of a dime. Because she’s going to stick around for a while, right? 😉 Maybe not, but options are good.

Your bathroom should have a stack of nice, clean, fluffy towels. In general, if there is one room in the house that should be spotless, it should be the bathroom. If you can’t bear to do it yourself, just fucking hire someone to do a deep clean. And if you can’t afford that, you have other work to do so get on it.

Other cool and conducive things to have in the place:
• Massage table.
• DJ setup / good quality sound system for an “instant party”.
• Philips Hue lighting system – the multicolored bulbs – are totally awesome. Being able to boss the lighting into some cool shades at the touch of a button; it’s way cool.
• Video projector or big screen TV.
• Several extra cushions and fluffy throws, for those impromptu movie night moments / extra guests.
• Assorted drinks and snacks.
• “Outdoor chill zone” for those summer sessions. This could include barbecue area, swimming pool, hot tub, loggia / gazebo, covered porch, rooftop garden, etc…

Have a playlist of cool tunes lined up so that you don’t have to be fucking around with that stuff endlessly, or have to get up every 5 minutes to mess with the stereo.

But do all this in a way that you enjoy, first and foremost. If you are trying too hard to impress someone, it does not impress them. Most of all, have FUN when you are doing it and create the kind of pad that makes you feel good and smile to yourself when you walk in. After all, you are the one who is going to be hanging out there more than anyone else!

Generally speaking, if it looks as though you have a thriving social life, your social life is more likely to thrive. If your place screams no girls ever come round here then they probably won’t.

Movies generally provide a “plausible reason” for someone to hang around for a while. Have a selection there. I like DVDs because they are visible. If they are out on the table, someone can indicate interest obliquely by saying “Ooh I haven’t seen this!” Then it’s an easy matter to read the signs, say “wanna watch it?”, dim the lights, get out the fluffy blankets, cosy up on the sofa and allow the magic to happen.

Your bedroom should also have essentials such as condoms, lube, box of tissues somewhere discreet but close to hand. If the panties are just about to come off and you suddenly think “crap, I didn’t get condoms”… then you just ruined the moment.

A variation on the “cool pad” that I have seen involves having a tour bus or RV for festivals and events. This kind of “party zone” is invariably popular and a great way to have summer adventures. If you have a dope bus at events then it’s going to fill up with girls. Secret weapon tip? This is kind of evil… have a full length mirror and lean it up against the bus. Nobody else does this and so the ladies will stop and fix themselves up as they come by, maybe even making a point of coming past. At the very least, you will have “improved the view” in your camp 😉 and it sure is fun to watch them preen and pose. Suddenly there will be more girls around, which generally leads to there being even more girls around – so long as everything else is cool of course. But whatever type of pad you have, a full length mirror is a plus point.

Logistic 3: Transportation

Now depending on where you are in the world, this may mean different things. In the USA for example, it almost invariably means car. Even in cities such as LA, getting around without a car is difficult and cumbersome. If you are out of town, in bumfuck USA, it can be almost impossible. In European cities, you may be just fine without a car, depending on public transport. London for example is just fine with an Oyster card that covers buses and tube. If you are out on the pull with your car, make sure it is clean, comfortable, doesn’t stink and any issues are taken care of. Keep a cosy blanket in the back.

Logistic 4: Look

Look really good, be sharp dressed, clean, well groomed and “100% ready to hit the town”. For a full tutorial check out our LooksMaxing Tutorial – How To Be The Hot Guy That Women Notice.

Logistic 5: Catch card

A catch card is similar to a business card, only it does not contain any business information. You are simply giving someone a way to get hold of you. It should be small-ish (can be handed to her more discreetly if she is making eyes at you), have a name and a phone number, with a moderately stylish presentation (don’t go overboard) – that’s it. It’s purely for social purposes. You don’t want to give a business card to a lady you are attracted to, because that leaves some vagueness as to whether your intentions were professional or social.
 Name. Phone number. That’s it.

Asking for a number can be awkward – and if the person is not into it, they are required to make an excuse. This also leads to flaking and your time being wasted; you get the phone number and then they don’t pick up, or it is a fake number. Worst of all, you might not make other plans because you are waiting for someone to respond who has no intention of responding (don’t do that!)

So the great thing about giving someone your catch card is that a) they will accept it without awkwardness because it puts them under no pressure at all – and if they are not into you, they simply will not call. b) if you DO get a text from them, you know that there is genuine interest in actually getting to know you. So it is non-threatening and a perfect way to screen for actual interest. It also stops you from any possibility of wasting time chasing someone who is not actually going to follow through. If a conversation with someone has gone well, but there is no opportunity for an “instant date”, you are out of time, or they might be about to bounce, simply say as you hand them the card “text me later / when you are free if you like and we will go and have coffee / meet for a drink” etc.

Summary And Notes

Logistics FIRST, fun second. ALWAYS. You should fix ALL this stuff BEFORE you go out and hit up your favorite spot in town. It just takes work, effort, focus and commitment – that’s all. Note how when it is all handled you will have increased confidence and your mind will be clearer as a result. You will be in control and won’t have any of these worries lurking in the back of your mind, and so you will be able to act without hesitation – because you are now a smooth operator who has their act together on fundamental levels. If you have a spark with someone and they are into you, you can move things forward. Congratulations!

Note how none of this stuff is manipulative. You are simply facilitating a great social life and making it easy for good things to happen – and if someone likes you, they will appreciate that you made the effort to ensure that there were not all these obstacles involved in getting close to you.

It’s not rocket science to get all this together, but it does take some hard work and some time management. Maintaining your own successful independent lifestyle in this manner typically involves some real effort. So get cracking because life is short and you don’t want to be looking back in 10 years thinking “if only”. Trust me on that one. Most of the tips in this guide were drawn from actual true-story experiences where logistical hiccups prevented the pull from going down. If you are young and reading this, you are a lucky little fucker, I cannot even tell you how much I wish I had had this knowledge when I was 20. NOTHING like this existed in my day and I learned it by making ALL of the fuckups and then some.

And every day that you do NOT have this together, is a day lost to history. If you don’t fix it, you’ve no-one but yourself to blame… which leads to another point: Don’t over-obsess and don’t use this as an excuse not to go out. If you spend all your time at home alone making your flat look perfect, you won’t ever go out and meet anyone – which is after all the goal of this.

Final note – if there is anyone in your life who is preventing you from getting all this together, and is an obstacle to you living the kind of fulfilled life that you envision… it might be time to move on. You should be in any romantic relationship out of choice, not because of of a perceived lack of options. And if you have friends or a living scenario that is cockblocking you, it might be time to cut loose and make a clean start.

The Seven Categories Women Put Men In And What To Do About It

Here are the seven categories women put men in, often within minutes or even seconds of meeting them. I’ve started at the top, with the most desirable.

Note that these are archetypes and it is likely that you have a mix of these qualities.

Note also that it is possible to “gear shift” in between these categories – either up or down, depending on whether you improve, or blow it.

You can tell which category you have been placed in by how she treats you, just as the Moon reflects the light of the Sun. Women are usually right about this stuff and have highly tuned perception for evaluating males rapidly and dealing with them accordingly. It’s an important evolutionary trait. Accept the signals and learn from them, rather than being annoyed at her. The honest barometer of her reaction to you is the best thing you can receive and your ability to receive it will dictate how fast you learn and become a more desirable man.

Whether you accept your fate or whether you do something about it is entirely up to you. But you cannot fake, because she will sound you out. The only thing you can do is raise your game and your desirability to the point where you naturally occupy the position you wish to be in.

1. The Fully Realized Man

This is the Man who has it together on all levels. He is the Man For All Seasons. Successful in all areas of his life. Warrior, Magician, Lover, King. He is strong without cruelty, dominant but not domineering. He is the true “good man” that women bemoan the fact that they cannot find.

Within this archetype / subset of men you will find the intelligent leader, who has a life built on strong foundations of health, honesty and harmony, generally has a stable family life and a loyal, loving, attractive partner – the Queen to his King – and will be found working towards a higher purpose in the world. He balances his own needs adroitly with the needs of his partner, his family and the greater good.

Another type of fully realized man might be called the sexy bachelor. This type has come to the fore in recent times and has deliberately chosen the single lifestyle. He might be described as the intelligent, successful, mature lover/friend with no strings, no bullshit games and totally good vibes. These are attractive, confident, mature single men who have their shit together on all levels, are comfortable in their own skins, are inspiring and exciting to be around and are straight to the point without being insecure, cheesy, needy, players, bad boys, or manipulators.

2. Prince Charming

Prince Charming is the female fantasy. The true Don Juan. The rarest of them all. He is the idealized combination of alpha (lover) and beta (husband), having all of their best qualities and none of their bad qualities. He is depicted in Hollywood, Disney and the land of make-believe.

Prince Charming is a magnificent specimen – handsome, sexy and powerful, yet also successful, accomplished, fearless, caring; a protector, a lover, a stud and a champion… every woman wants him and yet the fantasy is that despite having countless women throwing themselves at him, he chooses HER, sees her unique, perfect beauty and femininity, and sweeps her off to his castle in the clouds.

It’s nonsense, really. These characters are more the stuff of legend than real life – however they do exist. Top-level rock stars, princes, billionaire playboys, models, actors, top-level pickup artists who literally bang hundreds of women, and other elite characters may occupy this category.

Playing the Prince Charming card takes immense amounts of preparation, skill and Mastery. It’s a life path. Prince Charming is the man with all the aces. Yet watch out. When you press this fantasy-button in a female, she will idealize you and go into delirium. She will physically throw herself at you. If you do this right, they will literally lose control – for better or for worse; often for worse.

There’s a video I couldn’t find of Robert Smith (from the band The Cure) in his prime on stage, being mobbed by two women, who had to be physically peeled off him by security while he is attempting to sing a song. There is an even more extreme example of Bill Kaulitz from the band Tokio Hotel having serious problems with female stalkers. Now us mere mortals will probably never have this problem but it is an interesting lesson in female psychology and what happens when you become their ultimate fantasy.

More Robert Smith in his prime. A Prince Charming masterclass.

Look also at Dave Gahan (Depeche Mode), Jimmy Urine (Mindless Self Indulgence), Johnny Depp as Don Juan DeMarco, Brad Pitt, Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin) in his prime for more examples of super charming men.

A classic example from history was Franz Liszt. Widely regarded as the best pianist of all time, the most famous person alive in his day, fabulously handsome and with impeccable charm; he caused women to lose their heads completely. During one of his piano recitals, a silver snuff box fell from his pocket as he was playing. Two women lunged for it – while he was playing – and started brawling, right there in the middle of the concert hall. Another time, a woman snatched up his discarded cigar-butt and kept it in a locket, clasped to her chest for the rest of her life. True story. Liszt likely bedded more countesses and princesses than anyone else who ever lived. And there are many, many more tales.

To become Prince Charming you will need to set yourself absolutely apart from mere mortals, be desired by all and completely unattainable in some way. You will need superhuman game, superhuman good looks, youth, almost supernatural abilities – and massive social proof in the form of hordes of adoring female fans. This character is the one who has all the aces (link to the four cards article coming soon). Curiously, Prince Charming is not necessarily the most muscular, alpha hulk. Many examples we see are of a man in touch with his feminine side and this reflects in his dandy dress, jewelry, flawless demeanor, coquettish nature, playfulness. For Prince Charming is an expert in femininity. He touches her deep inside and causes her femininity to explode into flower.

Now it might sound like the best job in the world but honestly, you may not even wish to be too deeply caught up in this category; because there is an element of real danger involved. Prince Charming upsets the balance of power and the real-world consequences of Him sweeping into her life may not be good – and may even be disastrous. Jealous husbands may want to kill you, she may become obsessed and stalk you, and so on. You are human, yet she has idolized you; pinned all her hopes and fantasies on you. Inevitably at some point, you will let her down – either by revealing some trait of a mere mortal or, more likely, by charming another female – at which point female A will lose her mind and turn into a psychotic, raving lunatic with potentially catastrophic consequences. Watch the movie “Dangerous Liaisons”.

Perhaps the only way to play this card, if it is to be played at all, is either to be an actual rock star, unattainable, or be like the Don Juan played by Johnny Depp:

“I hope you went ahead without me”. Yes, she will do that…

Don Juan offers her a one night stand, with the assurance that it will never be repeated. But it will be a night she thinks about for the rest of her life. Watch out for the jealous husband.

Note that there is a huge difference between Prince Charming and the “Nice Guy” – a difference that must be understood.

3. The Seducer / alpha aka. Bad Boy

The Seducer / Alpha / Player type is sexy, but treats her somewhat poorly, if not downright abusively – and likely cheats on her, regularly, with other women.

This male has abundant options with women and is not at all worried if he loses one, because he can easily get more. He exudes natural style, charm and sexiness. Women sense this about him and so they work to keep him around. The tables are shifted. He doesn’t need to chase, they need to chase him – and he knows it. This gives him swag and genuine nonchalance.

Women do not like to admit – to men – that this class of player exists. Partly because they know he has turned the tables of power, but partly because these guys very often do not treat her very well.

The Seducer alpha can make lewd suggestions and get away with it because of the way he does it. He causes pussy to get wet. Women make it easy for him to make a move on them. If you find women are making excuses to hang out with you, openly flirting, text you out of the blue saying “hello handsome” or just want to kick it for no reason, you have a measure of this dynamic going on.

The alpha / seducer generally doesn’t have anxiety or performance issues. The way he differs from Prince Charming is that he is interested primarily in his own pleasure, rather than hers – and puts himself first in many areas of his life. For this reason, he generally performs really well – because he is assertive, forthright and expressive of his carnal self. There is nothing getting in the way. He is exciting, stimulating – and selfish. This also explains the reason why super high IQ guys have a hard time being alpha. They are too stuck in their heads and cannot “get out of their own way” because they are too caught up in mental chess and consideration of a multiplicity of possible outcomes, whereas the alpha is all-action.

Our bad boy seducer is typically a physically imposing specimen with muscle, height, strong jawline. He may also play the part with motorbike, tattoos, be a DJ, soldier, racing car driver or what-not.. yet he does not necessarily need those things. He may be skinny and short, yet have amazing seductive talk, and an ability to tap into her primal, submissive femininity. This is the man that women want to be fucked by. He has a general air of “I don’t give a fuck”, flirts openly, goes for what he wants fearlessly, laughs it off if he doesn’t get it and women love his demeanour and vitality, and the fact that he is a successful risk-taker.

He isn’t afraid to be a dick and is in fact the dick that women whine about to their beta boyfriends (but still get turned on by).

Quite often, alphas are to some extent losers in other areas of life. Because they truly don’t give a shit. They are not trying not to give a shit, they actually don’t! They are not focused on the stable, mundane, boring world. They do not go out of their way to provide for her and may even be oblivious to her needs. They have a harder time holding down a relationship. They have drama. They may even end up in prison. They generally don’t care two shits about her. They go for what they want and take what they want – and it keeps women – more specifically insecure women – coming back for more.

If you want to be more Alpha:
•Work out more and harder. Get into it. You will get leaner and also it will build testosterone, which will develop your alpha nature. Consider this absolutely non-negotiable.
•Stop giving so much of a fuck what people think, and about what girls think of you.
•Stop over-thinking everything in general.
•Have fun. Fill your life to overflowing with awesome. Do whatever makes YOU excited. Get in touch with this part of yourself instead of living the life of the person who always is thinking of the welfare of others and neglecting his own needs.
•Maintain an abundance mentality. The world is a glorious place full of adventure and opportunities to have fun. There are tons of beautiful women out there.
•Go for what you want but do not pursue and of course do not molest. Be flirtatious and playful, but if she doesn’t pick up what you are putting down, laugh it off, say you were just joking and move on.
•Create a fun, adventure-filled lifestyle. Dump your stressful life and start living the fun life you want. Give it to yourself.

4. The Provider / beta / boyfriend / husband

The beta may have a nice house, a nice car and provide for her, but doesn’t turn her on. He is a “nice guy” and a pleaser.

The Provider is generally truly successful in other areas of his life except with women – and his dating strategy “master plan” is to attempt to capitalize on his success in other areas of his life, in order to increase his chances with females.

This strategy backfires spectacularly when it comes to his sex life. Now providers do get laid, but she will not think of it as the best sex of her life and will in all likelihood be at least somewhat bored. His modus operandi does not turn her on and appears to her to be manipulative – even though the provider mistakenly thinks he is being more of a man than those low-class “bad boy” alphas – who he looks down upon for having less money, not having their shit together, treating her poorly etc. It vexes the hell out of him as to why she would choose to fuck the alpha over him.

The Provider may well be in a relationship – and his lady might be “going through the motions” – but if you are in the provider/beta category, she may make excuses as to why she isn’t in the mood, she may fake orgasm and she probably won’t be making a big effort to steer things towards sex. She may well be probably secretly getting banged by an alpha – or at least wishing she was. Don’t get upset; humans like sex. If you are a beta boyfriend, she is also probably really sad you don’t turn her on, because she likes everything else about you.

If it feels as though she is making you jump through hoops to get sex, despite all your best efforts to please her (stop that), you are in this category. If she dresses up to the nines to go “out with the girls” but never for you, you are in this category. She’s in control of how much pussy you get, it is driving you crazy and yet you are unwilling to walk away for various reasons including a perception that “she’s your best option”.

Even when the provider is her boyfriend, lewd suggestions may lead to his getting shamed. If she ever says “all you think about is sex”… you are in this category. Sorry. Even though you bought her a house and did everything you thought would make you a great man – your sexual desires are absolutely not her priority. But she will break the provider off a bit – not a super amount – if it keeps him around and keeps him providing. However – it is husband sex, not lover sex. Generally, he does not make her orgasm and even if he does, it is perfunctory, serving the most basic purpose only and not super engaging, heart stopping, sheet ripping sex.

The provider / beta is usually living a stressful life. He does not spend as much of his life having fun as he wants, whereas the more selfish alpha generally lives to party, have adventures and be wild. This also gives the Alpha better social energy, better “state”. The provider is mired in a world of bills, duties and responsibilities, going out once a week at best. Some provider types literally almost never go out. Sadly, these men are actually in many ways very deserving of a great woman, because they are often great men who go to great lengths to bring happiness and support to those around them. And the women who reject them sexually will say blue pill bullshit such as “Oh you are such a great guy, just be patient and the right one will come along”. But the facts are facts – these men don’t get her pussy wet and that will probably be the same with the others that come along, too.

Many betas go on to become MGTOWs (Men Going Their Own Way i.e. cutting females out of their lives completely) after being divorced and brutally crushed by the woman of their dreams. Men who are waking up to these facts are generally called “red pill” – the red pill of truth being that the provider frame, much as it is still championed by society as the model of excellence, no longer works as a dating strategy. It may have done so prior to the sexual revolution but those days are gone and being the provider now leads men down a path of misery, rejection and sexual despair. So there is a cognitive dissonance; with men still doing everything they were told they ought to do by their families in order to be good men, and devoting their entire lives to this… and being giving, kind, courteous, charming, loving, caring, generous… and getting absolutely shat on, even despised by the women whose femininity was not aroused by them. These kinds of breakup can cause them a huge emotional crash, even push them to being suicidal.

The beta/provider’s “big mistake” is in making her the focus of his life and seeing her as his “ultimate achievement” – thus not prioritizing his needs, especially his sexual needs, as equal to those of his woman and not maintaining clear, strong boundaries. There is often an element of sexual shame which prevents him from being a self assured, powerfully masculine lover. It also prevents him from accepting, embracing and celebrating her true nature as a sexual creature. Slut-shaming is a hallmark beta trait reeking of bitterness and the Alpha never does it. Also – the Alpha will go get it somewhere else if she does not give it to him, because he has no shame about his sexual needs – and thus never allows himself to fall into a fruitless chase.

The beta foolishly thinks that if he meets her other needs, she will reciprocate with meeting his “big need”, the big thing missing from his life… sex. This is what is known in psychology as a secret contract and comes across as manipulative; despite the fact that to the beta’s “man logic” it seems very fair to him. Sex should not be a “deal”. It should be done out of desire. “Transactional sex” is a massive turn-off to women.

You are only treated as badly as you allow yourself to be treated. If you do not have strong boundaries, it is completely on you.

The provider type generally has weak game and thus does not have as many options sexually, and so she is able to make him jump through her hoops – which he would never actually do if he had multiple, eager options. She will keep a guy as sexually satisfied as she needs to in order to keep him around. This is exactly why she will instinctively satisfy the player guy, suck his dick and make him sandwiches. With the beta-boyfriend, she has already got him, so her biological imperative does not impel her to seduce him. It’s instinct and you cannot blame her for it. Start putting yourself first, walk away from relationships that are not meeting your needs, and… get out and meet more girls.

5. The Orbiter

The first four were the “sex-worthy” categories. Now we come on to those deemed unsexworthy. The Orbiter has only himself to blame for ending up in this miserable category, really. He is so named because he orbits around her without truly initiating a docking sequence. He is an “admirer” – who is too timid to make a direct move, and she has no sexual interest in him whatsoever. He is also so non-threatening that she can – and does – exploit him for favors. She will call him when she needs a ride, and he will come running. Then she will say “thank you darling you are so amazing” and then “gotta go, bye” and he will say “ok honey call me whenever”. And she will… when she needs his help again.

She may even have flirted with him a little – in the past – but he continues to live in passive hope, despite the fact that she never shows him any genuine IOIs.

He is extremely attached to the outcome and so daren’t make a move for fear of blowing it. He only stays in this category so long as he doesn’t make a move or otherwise become a nuisance or embarrassment to her – at which point he would be friendzoned.

If you find yourself continuing to text a girl who is not responding; or if you are buying gifts for women who are not your girlfriend – these are orbiter behaviors. Don’t do it. Delete her number and move on. It’s done. It is typically very hard to recover from orbiter-land and continued efforts merely reveal you as needy and desperate, not a person of abundant options like the alpha would be. It is “one-itis”. Remember, the kind of man she wants is the kind of man who has options and thus is unattached.

Another thing she might do to an orbiter is invite him to a social event that she is at. He takes this as an IOI and goes there all hopeful, but he completely doesn’t see that he has just been made to jump through her hoop. Having lots of guys giving her attention makes her feel validated, ups her buying temperature, gives her social status. If you jumped through her hoop, you probably ain’t getting any, son. Don’t jump through her hoops, ever. Give her a hoop to jump through instead. That’s frame control.

The other thing an orbiter does is listen to her problems. She may call him to tell him about how the alpha has treated her like shit. Don’t ever make the mistake of thinking that it will help your chances to be the opposite of him. No. In fact, take these things as a great tutorial in how to be the kind of man that women obsess over.

If you are bored, either cut in with something fun or tell her you have to go.

6. Friendzone

This man makes the mistake of deliberately masking his sexual interest from the get-go, deliberately “minimizing risk”; a very unattractive trait reeking of insecurity, thirst and performance anxiety.

Once he has done this, it makes it hard to “out” his true intentions, and he is constantly seeking, vexedly, the right moment to make his move. Only trouble is, the right moment never comes, and he is inwardly tortured… so at some point it blurts out, often super awkwardly and he feels like he is making a fool of himself even as he spits out his statement of desire. Embarrassingly, she tells him “we are just good friends” or “I would prefer to keep things the way they are”. If this type of thing happens, either your game was simply weak, unconfident and not smooth.. or she was just not interested full stop. Better to flirt right from the outset and be unattached to the outcome. Some you win, some you lose and it’s best to cut the losses quicker, not get hung up on them and invest your time in self improvement instead of following around some chick that you foolishly told yourself was “the one”.

It is often said by those in the know that a girl does not put a man in the friendzone, he puts himself in there. When you understand this, you have got it. Reveal your attraction sooner rather than later. If she is not interested, move on. The situation does not meet your needs!

The friendzone is a specific place, a desperate and dissatisfied state of mind. You do not want to “hang out” there. If she has given you the let’s just be friends speech / text / etc; either delete her number and move on, or just forget about it, or state that you have no interest whatsoever in being just friends – because it does not meet your needs.

Whatever you do, don’t make the mistake of “accepting” her friendzone offer in the secret hope that she will change her mind later. By doing this you signal that your needs and desires are negotiable. This ain’t good. Far better to put your bid in, say you want her and are not interested in “just friends”, but she is welcome to get in touch if she changes her mind – and then cut off the interaction politely but clearly. Then DO NOT call back or attempt to chase in any way whatsoever. It’s not manly. State your intent, stand your ground and maintain total control of your frame. Remember in a negotiation, if the other party will not accept your terms, what would you do? Simply get up and walk away from the table.

Sometimes it might be a shit test; she might be putting you in friend zone to test your frame. Either way, the only way to win it is to state your desire without shame and hold your ground. If she has any actual interest, she will be in touch. If she is not in touch, she was truly not interested and you should be man enough to just let it go.

We are “trained” to be polite and not tell girls that we want them, often shamed for our desires and it sucks to find out that doing what we thought made us “good men” absolutely kills our chances. A man must be rock solid in his ownership of his desires and have no shame about them. He must also not force them on others and accept that others may not desire the same.

The best overall cure; stop being ashamed of your desires. It is perfectly acceptable to desire a woman; though you must of course respect her boundaries. If she tries to shame or insult your statement of desire, own it, laugh it off and say “I am a man, I do have a pulse, what do you expect?” and casually change the subject as if nothing happened.

7. The Creep

The creep is completely un-sexworthy in her eyes. He essentially has zero chance (unless he pays to play). She finds him loathsome and her greatest hope is that he will not make a move on her. The creep’s main failing is given away by the name – creep.. he “creeps while she sleeps” and secretly plots to get her; but has terrible self-esteem, is unsure of himself, super nervous, desperate, may follow or even stalk her obsessively. These are the primary characteristics. Secondary characteristics are generally physical and reflect that he has put more energy into jerking off onto pictures of her than into personal grooming. So he may be overweight, socially uncalibrated, have bad breath, terrible style sense, smell bad, be a slob or various other unattractive-yet-fixable traits. This is the person she skillfully avoids at 3am when the nightclub has turned into a “sausage fest” of intoxicated low-status males. All she wants is for this person to leave her alone. She hates these people, avoids them at all costs and typically for a hot girl, is frustrated about the sheer amount of energy it takes to keep them away from her.

To get out of this category, a good start is by fixing yourself up.

First of all, get the foundations (aka “fundamentals”) of your life together. Start taking care of yourself and loving yourself. Start putting your quality of life first. Nothing is worth sacrificing your health, prosperity or sanity for. Get your logistics handled:

Get your money straight.
Get your health straight.
Hit the gym.
Get your grooming straight – fix your teeth, hair, etc.
Get your wardrobe together.
Celebrate life, rather than over-obsessing on getting laid.
Cut the negative influences from your life. Fantastic tutorial from Owen RSD here:

It is never too late to change your ways. Stop chasing, work on yourself, let her be her… and enjoy who she is without wanting her to be any other way.

8. Wallpaper

There’s actually an eighth category – although this might be considered a non-category in that these men are simply not “seen” and therefore not categorized: Wallpaper.

Whereas The Creep is deliberately avoided, The Orbiter and the Friendzoned Man make some kind of failed attempt, Wallpaper is simply not noticed. These men are barely even background noise and don’t evoke a response either positive or negative. They aren’t making any effort whatsoever to game. This category may even be the largest of all. The category may also include old men who just aren’t trying any more, stable married men not in the sexual marketplace, those who are sick and infirm, the seriously obese, but the majority will simply be passive bystanders who dress entirely plain and do not make any real attempt to get noticed, look good or involve themselves in her life in any direct way.

Some have placed themselves in this category deliberately – for example “true” MGTOWs, those who have taken vows of celibacy, monks and the various kinds of recluse.

I am generalizing – but these men typically do not make any attempts whatsoever to game her. They may admire her from afar, but have essentially either been deselected by fate, have deselected themselves either deliberately or are doing nothing whatsoever. And as has been said, if you do nothing, your genes will be unceremoniously snuffed from existence.

It’s an irony that this category also includes men who were told “just be yourself” and took it a little too literally.

As for being “too old” – consider that Charlie Chaplin married his 18 year old love at the age of 54 and sired his 11th child at the age of 72… and this was before Viagra. You can’t help but feel a bit proud. Go on boy!

How To Be An International Man Of Mystery In One Easy Lesson

Bond. James Bond: The grand entrance of a super-seducer.

This famous movie scene was very carefully and artfully put together to portray the first character entrance of an “ultra seducer”, an idealized Alpha Male with almost superhuman levels of game. It ended up becoming one of the most well-known movie character entrances of all time and “sets up” the James Bond series of films, and Sean Connery, for spectacular worldwide success.

I urge you to watch this clip (actually two scenes) a few times as there is a ton of game here. There are a mass of subtle details, and the amount of useful information that can be gleaned from this is invaluable. It’s got all the pieces, together with a rare window into the heady excitement of what remained of the now-forgotten, opulent, sparkling, dangerous world of the courtiers of old. A lot happens in these brief seconds – and every single thing Bond does signals high status. I will unpack some of the details for you.

In the first shot where he is seen, Bond’s presence is already palpable even though his back is to the camera! Not everything is revealed at once (a classic seduction strategy in itself) but is delivered in a timed sequence, each step raising the tension higher than the last – first his back, then the voice. Only when he delivers his famous introduction is his face revealed.

He’s impeccably groomed – everything is put together flawlessly. In manner too, he has the demeanor of rock solid confidence and detachment. Every move, from the snap of the lighter to the raised eyebrow, is slick but understated. He’s not saying “Hey everybody, look at me”. But he’s incredibly focused and strong, utterly self-assured and powerful, carrying himself with the I-don’t-give-a-fuck demeanor of an apex predator.

Note the now-legendary “pause for effect” when Bond speaks his name, and how it gives power to his words. This pause is a classic technique employed by skilled speakers. Note also the deepening voice tone as he meets her eyes with a powerful “Alpha gaze”. This unflinching stare-down is a challenge, a projection of pure intensity and dominance. A simple statement – “I am stronger than you. Fear me.”

Sylvia Trench, the alpha female, immediately sets him a return challenge to see if he’s really up to it, by raising the gambling stakes to danger level and meeting his gaze with her own. She is a very powerful woman; accustomed to being able to control most men easily. She has sufficient wealth that she doesn’t care one whit if she loses heavily at the card table. She is seeking not monetary profit, but deep down in her primal nature wants a man who is more powerful than her; strong enough to be an actual challenge, who is not just going to be pliable or try to offer her the same old thing that she can already get so easily (and therefore doesn’t want). She only wants a man who is truly powerful and strong enough to really excite her.

So she uses the power of her money as a test to see if she can fluster him (at which point she would lose any interest). He is utterly nonchalant – no hesitation whatsoever before voicing, with the superb dismissive gestures of the left hand, that he has no objection to dancing with potential loss of a large amount of money. He just doesn’t give a shit either way.

As the cards are dealt, still maintaining super strong eye contact and only breaking off with the glances required by the card game, he responds to her ‘test’ with a joke “looks like you’re out to get me” – a superb double entendre on the word ‘get’, from the obvious meaning of conquest at the card table to the conquest of seduction. He’s also framing the situation as though it is her who is the one who is pursuing him – subtly reinforcing the idea that she has already decided that she wants him.

His joke teases her, shows that he is unafraid of bringing the subject around to the realm of sex, and she responds with an indicator of interest, parrying his thrust by pretending that she hadn’t thought of it but immediately raising him by indicating flirtatiously – yet subtly – that she liked the idea.

Note how he ends up in control of the frame: Winning helps of course, but he treats this with absolute detached amusement. He is the one who gets up to leave, cutting off the interaction with total disinterest. He simply has more important things to do – which makes her instinctively chase him.

This is the “hook point”. Now she is flirting more overtly, showing desire, fluttering her eyelashes seductively after saying “just when things were getting interesting.”

“Do you play any other games”… another double entendre on the word “games”, subtly yet quite deliberately placing the suggestion of sex in her mind once again before pulling it back with “apart from Chemin de Fer” (the name of the card game they were playing in the Casino). The hidden meaning here is “Are you down for sexual encounters?”

She returns his quip with “Golf… amongst other things”, another subtle sign of interest, cleverly playing along with his innuendo (subtle compliance) and indicating the possibility of sexual availability and intrigue.

At this point, despite all the cleverly veiled talk, she has indicated clearly that it’s on – so he immediately goes direct and tells her assertively where and when the date will be. Notice the “lock in” – just as taught by the modern-day Mystery Method! – he leans back against the booth. Leaning back against the wall in this manner is an alpha power position, leaving her with her back to the room and appearing to observers to be the one chasing him. This raises his stock even higher. He then tells her exactly what to do and for the second time walks away absolutely decisively and powerfully, not a lingering glance: Leaving her confused, excited and intrigued as to who this man of such astonishing mystery and confident power is.

To watch the body language even more closely, watch the scene with the sound turned off. Note how at no point in the scene does he lean in, follow her or physically pursue in any way. She is the one who follows him. He doesn’t hang around “hoping” for anything. He doesn’t waste any time at all on her, he’s on a mission. He has to go; and by having something far more important to do than to be waylaid by this beautiful woman, he sets himself up way higher than all the other men she typically meets; who would immediately arrange their world around her as the “pinnacle” of all they could hope to achieve. Bond on the other hand, while certainly interested in her, is totally carefree and not in the least invested. It’s a masterclass in being direct whilst having total freedom from outcome.

Bond remains completely in control of himself throughout, whereas throughout the scene her interest in him grows gradually yet continually with every stroke he plays. By the time he walks away she is so desirous of him that she seems barely able to prevent herself from running after him and is left spellbound, watching him as he strides away purposefully.

And you thought these movies were just fluff!

Bond is a hypothetical character, and movies are not real life – yet this glamorous scene is loaded with knowledge of male-female interactions and of how actual seduction works. Ian Fleming – the author of the James Bond stories – was a highly erudite, worldly and accomplished man who had worked for British Intelligence during WW2.

All is not as it seems in the world of the court. It’s high level stuff, moves so fast that it’s intoxicating and Bond’s work here is as smooth a pick-up as you will ever see.

Scene II: Enter Miss Moneypenny…

Next, the famous “Moneypenny” scene. Moneypenny is basically throwing herself at him. She wants him, badly – and poses all kinds of attempted seduction in order to try to win him over. She plays a classic role – of a frustrated, attractive working girl trapped in an office job, begging for some real excitement and longing for Prince Charming to come and seduce her, sweeping her away to his castle in the clouds.

She is clearly infatuated with Bond – in at the deep end – and her supplicating voice tone “I’ve been looking all over London for you” is not that of a secretary but that of an upset girlfriend longing for her man to come home and make love to her!

She knows Bond is ‘out of her league’, but doesn’t care – she will readily give it all, given an ounce of encouragement. At every turn, he demonstrates Alpha quality. He seizes her hand, sings to her, leads her in a pretend dance, teases her, kisses her on the forehead, treats her as though he has every right to behave badly and do whatever he wants. He’s totally politically incorrect – and he’s absolutely unfazed by her slap, continuing to plough ahead nonchalantly. When she voices her complaint, not at his bad behavior, which she is getting turned on by, but at the fact that he will not date her – “you never take me out to dinner”, now this is an archetypal example of a “shit test”. If a man is flustered by her complaint (a natural expression of her femininity), he loses control of the frame and loses the girl.

Note how Bond doesn’t even bother to deal with the question on her terms, maintains total composure and doesn’t allow any negativity to invade the space, immediately coming back with “I would you know, only M would have me court martialled for illegal use of government property.” Note again another fabulous double entendre, the words “use” and “property”. Even though Bond’s sexist “property” joke subtly reduces her to object status, it’s the best one-liner in the scene and the veiled suggestion of being used by him sexually in some taboo manner, combined with the stylish delivery, raises her temperature even more: Her eyes widen and she melts into his arms like a submissive hen. It’s a perfect example of the beautiful woman who chooses the jerk over the nice guy through primal instinct and addiction to the drug of sexual excitement.

What really makes the scene is that she has actually got some great game herself and their dance is not altogether one-sided. Note how when he goes to kiss her forehead a second time, she uses a “back turn”, taking away her attention from him as soon as he ‘crosses the boundary’ into actually trying to kiss her. She controls the frame momentarily here, allowing him to bend the ‘office rules’ right to breaking point before bringing things sharply back to business – however she knows deep down that cards such as her back turn are not aces in this set and that even though she is giving it her best shot at getting him to attend to her womanly needs, it cannot give her the hold over him that she really wants. Finally, we see once again that he just doesn’t care less either way.

The delight of this scene is that it is played out continually throughout the Bond movie series and never consummated, leaving the audience tantalized as the office rules only serve to increase the electric charge instead of dissipating it.

A subtle seduction game is played on the audience by the filmmakers and by Ian Fleming, the master storyteller – the viewer is flirted with in every movie, teasing and leaving them ever hungry for more.

The Wrap-Up

Now, how is all this useful to us ‘mere mortals’? First, note the “dance of seduction” that takes place in the rapid-fire exchanges. How the energy is ‘moved around’ between the male and female, and how they push each other away in order to make each other hotter for the other. Note also how in the glamorous world of the courtier, the surfaces and depths of things dance with each other.

As Napoleon said “Place your iron fist in a velvet glove.” The arena of high society is a world of invisible swordplay, where moves of power are always hidden under the glittering surfaces.

Of course, it’s hard for the average man to pull this sort of thing off when you don’t have thousands to burn carelessly on the casino, and you’re not an international spy with an actual mission! However, many of the attributes of Bond are actually within reach of “the rest of us”.

There are many distinct factors that have made him what he is. As the saying goes, it’s all in the preparation: He’s spent his life in training to be an elite agent with impeccable skills in innumerable disciplines including driving, skiing, fighting and shooting.

A spy must also be a master conversationalist, courtier, seducer and survivalist, being able to move gracefully and powerfully both in high society and in battle.

Bear in mind that excellence, as was famously said by Aristotle, is not an act but a habit. We become what we do repeatedly, and mastery of anything only comes from continual focus, preparation, training and dedication. You can’t spend your life sitting on the sofa eating potato chips and playing video games, and then walk out, smelly and unshaven, in a dirty T-shirt… and impress a super hottie. She will immediately see, from your appearance and manner, that you are not someone who habitually pushes themselves, seeking peak performance and the ‘edge’ in life. The successes of tomorrow are built on the right actions of today.

The whole notion that we can conjure the life of our dreams into being, simply by wishing for it, is a total illusion.

It is a fantasy which appeals to the “lower nature” and inherent laziness of all creatures, who then without realizing their error, use it to avoid making actual effort. However, having an inspiring dream is the first step. Then, it is up to you to get off your butt and make it happen. No-one will do it for you, and being an international man of mystery does not fall into your lap.

It is sheer hard work, dedication and focus. The same applies to your dating life. Commit to self improvement, pure and simple – and you will begin to shine ever more brightly. Effort is more painful than non-effort. But the presence of beautiful women in your life is a reward for the effort you put into redefining yourself as the best version of yourself that you can be. Women have options: and to attract the best women you must be the best option.

And remember: You don’t have forever.