What To Do If You Got Dumped. How To Handle A Breakup

This is an important tutorial. Let’s dive straight in.

First Things First: Do Not Chase!

Remember this always: Receiving that sweet feminine energy is not your goal. Becoming the most awesome version of yourself you can possibly be is your goal. Receiving that sweet feminine energy is your reward.

When the sweet feminine energy stops? Do not chase after it! Appreciate what life has shown you about where you are currently at, and get back to work. You have work to do. Work on yourself with pure focus… and when your own energy level reaches a certain point, you will attract that feminine energy again.

Notice how that is always the way it is, in fact? You pulled when you were in a high place inside yourself – which naturally attracted her. Your task is to get back to that place and in fact to go even higher.

You never, ever get anywhere by chasing! Ever! It WILL cause her to blow you out even harder, which will cause even more of an energy crash when you realize how badly you fucked up! Do NOT send her another message. Do NOT go look at her social media again. Do NOT do stuff to try to be noticed. Get back to self improvement ASAP!

We have a tendency to get bent out of shape if a beautiful woman leaves us that we have been vibing with for a while. Here’s why: When you have already gotten close to a woman, her sweet feminine energy is “right there” for you to enjoy – and so, without even meaning to, you get lax. You stop being “a hunter” and you reach for the cookie jar – literally as well as figuratively. 😉 And we know what happens when you work less and eat cookies more…. you get weak. Your own energy drops. You become dependent on her energy for your well being; whereas when you were single, you were getting your energy from your life.

This causes her attraction to diminish… and we know the result. You can feel the result by the “weather” of her emotions. Sweet summer breezes got replaced by dark clouds and then finally, the storm…

We can easily slip into bad habits without noticing and it is super difficult not to – but you have to keep your standards up, your focus on your life goals and your daily training consistent in order to keep your energy levels high and “have enough to share”.

So when the “tap turns off” of the sweet feminine energy that she was giving you, take it as a sign from the universe that it’s simply time to get to work. THANK the universe for showing you what’s up! Work on yourself. Never chase! Get your energy from your life and from your commitment to yourself.

And certainly don’t fall into any form of “self-punishment” – whether it is punching walls or hitting the booze. The only thing you should hit is the gym!

It’s important to remember that a woman could do anything at any time, for any reason or for no discernible reason at all. She might be all over you today and gone tomorrow.

It will always be like this and there will NEVER come a time when you are so awesome that you can just stop working on yourself, so get over it and keep your focus on YOU. Like a champion fighter – the day you stop training, you start getting weaker and hard muscle starts turning into flab.

Enjoy her femininity when it’s there, laugh and let it go when it isn’t, don’t get addicted to the cookie (nearly impossible lol) and keep the focus on moving up in your own life.

She Is Not The One. YOU Are The One!

REMEMBER THIS: No matter how much you like her and no matter how sweet the cookie tastes, you should never like her more than you like yourself. You should NEVER put her on the pedestal in your own mind. In your own life, YOU are the one. Truly!

One of the reasons the old school players were “successful” in “hooking women” as opposed to being hooked by them, is that they put themselves first always. No matter how hot the ho was, the player remains the most important thing in his own universe. Egocentric and conceited? Perhaps. But did it work? Undeniably.

It’s a perfect example of how someone “will treat you the way you treat yourself”.

Through his actions, his walk, his talk, his dress, the player communicates on all levels simultaneously his congruent high self-esteem and his high standards. She has but one choice: Get with the program or get lost. He literally doesn’t care if she walks away because the only place she can get his awesomeness is from him – and besides, he knows that if he has consistently made himself a priority and worked on himself like crazy… like buses, another one will be along in five minutes.

I’m not saying be a player. But certainly put your own needs first and ruthlessly cull everything from your life that is not serving those needs. That self respect in and of itself will improve your dating life massively.

And the number one way to communicate that value? Your Attention.

Attention, Please

The hot woman has the low-value man‘s attention in the bag. She could call him in the middle of anything that he is doing and he will drop whatever he was doing (perhaps even literally) and immediately be “at her feet”… like a doggie when the treats come out.

Just getting her attention is an irresistible high for him. It has a greater hold over him than his own future!

As a result, the low value man, having communicated zero self respect… has nothing that she aspires to. No further energy for her to absorb – except perhaps when she got dumped and needs a shot of self-esteem from his adoration. She has no attraction to him; but she might use him – possibly even to the limit that he allows himself to be used. Sadly this becomes habitual and very hot women nowadays have all sorts of men buying things for her, paying her bills and giving her money just for a little of that… attention… and the merest hint at the possibility that he might get a treat if he’s a good boy.

A high value man, on the other hand, is extremely busy being a high value man – because that’s what it takes to be the best version of yourself: A firm and ruthless commitment to you. Have you ever seen a part time super-successful person? Me neither. The high value man literally doesn’t have time for any of this bullshit and is comfortable enough in his own skin and how much he already likes his awesome life anyway not to need her attention at all; although he may of course desire it and enjoy it. But when it goes, he truly doesn’t give a shit. Like James Bond when Moneypenny attempts a takeaway… he gets right back on with being awesome and continuing to develop his awesomeness, without so much as a blink or a dip in his state.

When the hot woman calls, she better call him at the right time and treat him nice… otherwise he simply has better things to do than deal with whatever BS she wants to talk about. Her cat, her mean landlord… whatever. If she wants to use him to get some errand done, thinking that her looks are enough to make him just do it, well, that’s going to get treated with the contempt it deserves. Anyway, I thought she was a strong independent woman, didn’t you?

It’s not that he is being manipulative. He just knows what’s up and has his self-esteem truly handled, as opposed to superficially handled. His standards are high and rock solid and his powerfully honed time management skill ruthlessly eliminates low value activities from his life!

And believe you me, hot women are hunting for the hottest, most high value male they can find!

But she has to be bringing her best self plus some value to the table and not being a jackass, otherwise he is simply gone, no matter how hot she looks.

He indicates what he will tolerate, which does not include her “princess bullshit” – and that’s that.

“The Work” Never Stops For A Man. Ever.

Note that you cannot become this overnight. It takes months if not years of diligent training, productivity and focus to become the best version of ourselves we can be. To begin with, you will get pulled off course by all sorts of women. Until you wise up and “master yourself”. Progress is gradual, with numerous ebbs, flows, setbacks and adventures along the way.

This is why you never chase. And this is how you handle a breakup: You get right back to your training, your self improvement and your work on yourself. The work never stops, whether you are in the mood or not. Never. Get used to it, get down to it NOW and start leveling up. It’s time to change gear and floor it with your self improvement. Life is short and every second counts.

Here’s how you will know when you are truly on target and have this life-lesson on lock: When she blows you out, you immediately think “Cool! I have all these awesome things to be getting on with and now I can! Life is wonderful!”

You might even find that when, after you disappeared off the map and forgot all about it, and she starts chasing your rock-solid energy again, you can’t even be bothered to deal with her. Good sign. 🙂 Deal with her if you want to, but don’t feel obliged to and be sure it’s only on terms that are congruent with your high quality life.

More in-depth insight on this topic: Got Dumped? How To Get Her Back

3 Reasons Why You Might Be Better Off Choosing An 8 Than A 10

Reason #1: The 10 Is Playing To The Gallery

I’ve had girlfriends who were “10s”, including models getting paid thousands per day – and being perfectly honest… one of those experiences in particular sucked big time.

It was awful.

She was literally the best looking girl in my local area. We were together I am guessing about 4 months.

If I had not been “pussy struck” it would have been far less than that. She treated me like garbage and I, being young and having no options that came anywhere near to her level of hotness… put up with it.

She was an absolute attention seeker of the most insecure and needy kind imaginable. And she got so much attention that no matter how disrespectfully she acted… guys continued to worship her.

That’s not a recipe for character development, captain. She was an “accident of nature” and progressively becoming more and more messed up on the inside as a result.

She was strikingly good looking. The kind of girl where EVERY other guy is trying to hit on her, often right in your face – and trying to start shit with you just for existing!

If we were in the bar, I would go for a pee and they would make their move. Every single fucking time. And she would lead them on.

If they said “Can I buy you a drink?” she would say yes, knowing full well where it was going, and then say “This is my boyfriend” a few minutes later.

Gee, thanks. This guy is now eyeballing me like “Can I take him?”

The problem with these girls is, they are a 10 “for the audience” – and not for any guy in particular.

They are attention seekers… and no amount of attention is ever enough.

Reason #2: If She’s A 10 In Your Eyes, You’re Already Hooked; And So She Won’t Bother Trying To Treat You Well

All women have the ability to “turn up or down the voltage” of their looks – often to such an extraordinary degree that you almost wouldn’t recognize them as the same woman!

Bearing this in mind – it’s far better to have a girl who is a 7-8 for the general public and saves the 10 for you, privately, alone, when you are in the bedroom.

Wouldn’t you prefer that? Hell yes you would!

Finding a girl who is an 8, is in my view “the sweet spot”. 9 absolute max but that might be a bit too high for most guys.

If she is a 7 or less in your eyes, you are likely to stray. It probably won’t last. Aim higher.

Whereas if she is 9+, you are probably too smitten to keep her interest. Unless you blow all of the competition out of the water in her eyes.

8 is “just right”. The perfect blend of desirable and attainable.

Another beautiful thing about a girl who is “only an 8” in your eyes is that while she’s “definitely hot enough” for you to want her, she’s not so hot that she’s complacent about your attention.

It’s far better that you see her as an 8 and she sees you as 9+. That’s the win right there.

Overall; rather than chasing girls who are “out of your league”, go for the hottest girl you can get who looks at you adoringly… and raise your game until one of those is also “hot enough for you”.

Reason #3: Your 8 Will WANT To Become A 10 In Your Eyes

The other magical thing about “your 8” is that she will start transforming into a 10 before your very eyes the longer you are with her!

For this reason, you are far better off with an 8 that is gazing at you like you are made of stardust than you are with a 10 who is “meh” and has a dozen other options of your calibre. That girl will make zero effort to please you.

Find an 8 and be her 10: When a girl is super into you, she’s keen to do whatever will attract you more to her.

She notices which of her clothes you like best. Which looks of hers meet your highest approval. She starts doing those things more. If you say “I love it when you dress in black”… boom… she starts dressing in black more.

You like BJs? She’ll be much more eager to do it to you!

If you were to say to her “If you shave that pussy it will make me want it even more”? Boom. She will do it that day (yes this has happened to me! 🙂 )

And so on. But only if she is super into you. If she is super into you, she will instinctively start conforming more and more to being your ideal woman. She will adopt your style, your habits, your views – and do what turns you on.

Screw these 10s who are playing to the gallery. Find an 8 who is super into you and has “good bones” – and invest in that. Or perhaps even a lower number if you see she has “potential” (she will be more eager to transform, too!)

She’ll become your 10. This has happened to me numerous times and I can confirm it absolutely!

Just watch out – because once she becomes a 10 in your eyes, and you start staring at her all starry-eyed… things might shift and her interest in you might diminish.

Interestingly also – taking in all of the above, you may now become the only guy who is disdainful of the 10, while all the other guys are worshipping her. At which point… the 10 might start chasing you – at which point you can start “training her”…

Stay firm and correct! 🙂 Still want 10’s? That’s fine – you just have to be an 11! 😉 Read this: 10s Are Out There – Right Now – Just WAITING For You To Come Along And Snap Them Up!

List Of 26 “Red Flags” In Her Profile And Messages: How To Spot And Steer Clear Of Problems Before They Happen

Note – this post, like the rest of this blog, is aimed at men who are dating women. But this is not meant to be in any way a “biased” post: There are of course just as many potential red flags on men’s profiles that women should be aware of. Some but not all of these “cross over” and apply across the board.

First, just take in the overall impression: – this isn’t so much a red flag but it’s quite a reliable indicator. Take in the whole profile and ask yourself if this person is “me me me” or if it seems like there is actually room for another human being in their world. Does it seem like she already has a crystal clear picture of what she wants, and is merely missing a jigsaw piece (your wallet) to make her life complete? Don’t ignore that! If she uses the “magic word” together in her profile text – great sign. If there are words indicating she likes to give or make her partner feel good – great sign. If it’s just a “shopping list” of things she wants and she likes, with not even a suggestion of sharing, togetherness or mutuality – for me personally that’s enough to block them and move right along!

Photo Red Flags

1) – Screenshot or download her pics and drop into images.google.com If those pics are all over the web – it’s a fake profile. This isn’t 100% foolproof but it will weed out a fair number of fakes.

2) – if the only pic is sideways and she can’t be bothered to fix it – how caring and attentive do you think she is going to be about you?

3) – If she is pulling a “gurn” – playful ugly face – and / or “flipping the bird” (giving the middle finger) – especially in her #1 / main pic – it generally indicates she is a “party girl” and likely into a wild social life that may well involve alcohol (or other substances). Not necessarily a massive red flag, she might just be a bit of a “party rebel” – but it’s also not exactly as though she is going out of her way to be attractive and present herself in her best light. It can indicate deeper issues, especially at a later date, and a lack of readiness for actual intimacy. If you saw an 18yo doing this, not really a biggie. A 30 year old? Different story.

4) – Whereas if one (or more) of her pics is a “crazy eyes” pic, with a highly exaggerated wide-eyed stare right at the camera… in a way that seems scary… eeee eeee eeee… she’s letting you know… very major red flag. Avoid – no matter how hot she looks in her other pics… especially if she looks super hot in her other pics. If any of her pics make you think “she seems crazy”, or she seems to have a burned-out, hollow, tormented vibe – don’t ignore that.

5) – Note the number of profile pictures. One – not enough to know what she actually looks like. 3 to 6 is just fine. 20 = attention seeker.

6) – all the pics are heavily “filtered”. Typically means she doesn’t look good and she is masking it, big time. Ignore all filtered pics 100% when evaluating, because she does not look like that! If she will not show one or more unfiltered pics, its not a good sign. Some and some is fine – so long as there is enough to see what she actually looks like.

7) – no ‘figure pic’? If there are no pics that show her body, but only her face – she’s very likely hiding her physique and not confident to show it off. This very typically means… overweight. Look at the roundness of the face and shoulders to get additional cues – but if she won’t show her physique, its not a good sign overall. Pay attention also to the “sideways” body-shot that is often done to mask / flatter her proportions.

8) – Look for any “odd” photos that seem out of place and seem to be making an oblique “this is me” statement. For example if one of her pics has a row of bottles of alcohol, without her in it, just the alcohol? Might indicate alcohol addiction issues. Why is she putting a photo of alcohol in a dating profile? Are you going to be “dating alcohol”?

9) – No profile pic? Might not be bad. She might be super hot and be getting so much unwanted / creepy attention that she can’t deal with it. If you start a chat and it’s going well, do ask for pics and if there are any issues – eject.

Addendum: Not a red flag: But if her main pic is her in a dress holding a bunch of flowers, she’s very likely marriage minded; choose someone else for casual / fling.

Profile Text Red Flags

10) – Profile length. a) No text. Probably because she’s habituated to getting so much attention from her pics that she doesn’t bother. It’s not a good sign. She should be indicating some things about what she is looking for and not looking for. b) “Just ask” (and nothing else). Not a good sign. c) Massive slabs of text / enormous monologues. This is the biggest of the profile length red flags in my view. Why do they have such an enormous amount to say before allowing someone to get anywhere near them? It can indicate a high degree of guilt.

11) – “Let’s meet today” / “Tonight?” / “I am here for you baby”, or a phone number right there in the profile for all to see = she’s almost certainly providing adult services. (No judgement; but know it for what it is.)

12) – Extreme carelessness (horrible typos or spelling in the headline especially) indicates… extreme carelessness. If she cannot be bothered to even try to make her profile look decent for you, how much of a crap do you think she gives about giving you a pleasurable experience overall? The number of profiles where they write “I am a women”… they do not see the link between their inability to spell a common 5 letter word and their socio-economic status… yikes…

13) – if ANYTHING in the profile words “gives you the creeps” or seems “super weird”.

14) – “Damsel in distress” / “professional victim” / “calling all rescuers” (run)

15) – if she wrote something that gives you a “WTF” reaction.

16) – if there is strong negativity of any kind (anger / hate / rants / highly polarized viewpoints). So… this is her putting forward her charming, attractive, carefully curated side?? Massive rants on a dating profile are a big warning sign. Look at the “ratio” of positive to negative and ask yourself if you really want to hang out with someone who is not “mostly positive”, even when showing “their best self”.

17) – if she is public shaming / trash talking others in her profile. All good looking women get hit on tons – and most of what clogs up her inbox is garbage. A quick note such as “please don’t message me saying ‘hi’ or if you are in another country” is fine. But if it is a diatribe… why does she need to draw attention (repeatedly is worse) to the fact that “all these creeps” are hitting on her? Part of it is simply that: She is likely an attention seeker and KNOWS that airing out her drama from the rooftops will get all the “white knights” to come to the “save the day” and give her ego strokes. It’s pathetic and – importantly – signals that this is not a person who makes good choices. (The white knights aren’t making good choices either and are also enabling!) She likes having a “cover story” for why her life is a mess – and its “everyone else’s fault” of course. The louder the squawking, the greater her urgency to shift the blame. Ok, so some crap happened. Fine. But shit happens to everyone – it’s life – and a hallmark of a healthy person is their ability to deal with it privately and keep it positive in their public persona as opposed to dragging passive bystanders into unpleasant details of their personal life. Not classy. An occasional “vent” is normal but the frequency and severity are indicative. Dwelling in negativity is a choice and a healthy trait is to nix it super fast and continue to surround yourself with positivity only. If she’s not ready to do that, move on and nix her!

Message Red Flags

18) – Highly impulsive behavior (i.e. wanting to meet right off the bat, especially if it means travelling considerable distance for a meet). If they have not even bothered to ask questions about things they really ought to know and seem “too careless” about not really knowing you very well, that’s a bad sign. What are they running away from, what are they bringing with them, and what will you discover about them once they have already “dumped themselves on you”?

19) – surprising negative and highly critical / incendiary reactions to words of yours that were not negative. Intense angst, hostility or escalation that seems to come out of nowhere isn’t a good sign. Block.

20) – they start “unloading” in a big way about their problems, mental health, medications, and things that could be seen as “poor lifestyle choices”. Yes, women are emotional and “big shares” may simply mean she feels an emotional connection… but feel the vibe and ask yourself if it is sweet or bitter, and healthy or problematic.

21) – weird, evasive answers to questions.

22) – non-sequiturs and/or not even bothering to address what you wrote.

23) – things that just “set alarm bells ringing” / mind games.

24) – refusing to ID verify before meeting (for example video call, or a photo of them holding up a piece of paper with a word of your choosing on it)

25) – You are left feeling “bad inside” after a chat rather than uplifted, happy and positive.

26) – Asking for money; typically accompanied either by a “tale of misfortune”, or by over-eager sounding promises of pleasures untold if you can just fix their problems first…

Summary:

IDK… you might find there is nobody left after you have eliminated all of the above… it’s pretty bad… 😉

Your choices of dating / romantic partner(s) are important factors that will affect your life significantly. Choose well. Make an affirmation – saying out loud (to yourself) that you only want healthy, happy relationships and will only engage in good, positive scenarios. Never forget that there are tons more people in the world and that the sooner you recognize and move on from unhealthy scenarios, the better for your future it will be.

The persons who may be exemplified by the 26 “red flags” listed may not necessarily be “terrible people”, but they are likely not in a place where they are ready to date healthily. Give them a miss.

If you feel that you are not attracting persons of the calibre that you would like… and that your dating life seems “strewn” with examples like those given above, it may indicate that you have some inner work to do. Self improve, so as to improve your options and feel fine with excluding those who don’t meet your standards! Remember always to “put the horse before the cart”: Be at a “good place inside” first, date second.

Do NOT get caught up in the drama of someone who is not in a healthy “dateable” place. Be courteous but remember that you have the right to choose who you interact with / get close to. Make those choices in a timely manner: Do not waste your time and energy on negative situations / bad vibes and “nip things in the bud” that are not going in a good direction.

If you find yourself merely “disengaging” or losing attraction and feel that a scenario is “just not for you”, be polite but clear – and wish them well. A graceful exit with good communication is way more classy than ghosting on someone. It costs nothing to be cool and let someone know what’s up before closing out the chat with no intention of reopening. You can say something like “Thank you for the conversation. I’ve decided that this isn’t what I am seeking and wish you well. All the best.” Note how this is non-blaming. You are within your rights to make this choice!

On the other hand, whether or not red flags are “visible”, if something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. This list is just the red flags I could think of; there may be more. If you get any sort of actual negative reaction or bad feeling, don’t linger. Block and move on quickly. Don’t engage with negative energy! There’s no point trying to dig it up and process it if something like that happens ‘early on’. If it was a simple misunderstanding that can be fixed, fix it. But if it’s clearly something other, don’t give it a free pass, because these things tend to come back, amplified.

“Pre-emptive blocking” of people you don’t feel good about, before anyone messaged, is also a very good idea.

If someone appears to be a danger to themselves or others please take appropriate action.

Where people screw up, generally speaking, when dealing with red flags, is when they are extremely physically attracted to the person at the other end – and that “blinds” them to negative traits that they really ought to pay attention to.

Remember this: You can like someone loads but you should never like them more than you like yourself. Think about it.

Finally: If you are in any scenario that you feel may be not right, or more problematic to eject from, take a look at this post: Removing Manipulative People, Cockblocks, Cunts And Swindlers From Your Life

10s Are Out There – Right Now – Just WAITING For You To Come Along And Snap Them Up!

You just can’t do it.

Don’t chase. Be top notch and attract. She is HUNGRY for the right man and your goal is to be him.

But how will you achieve this monumental task, which sometimes seems like scaling the highest mountain on Earth?

Well, she has TONS of information for you – if you are paying attention – about how you need to improve and the possibilities that await if you do.

It’s what drives us.

I found a 10 today. Well, several actually. They are all over the place. Falling off the trees! But here’s one for an example:

I wish I could show you her profile but privacy will not allow it…

She is 20. French. 5’7″. SMOKING HOT. Dressed in black. Looking incredible. Edible. Slender. Lithe. Sensual. Fine AS HELL. Looking READY for something amazing.

These fucking French girls, man. Jesus on a bicycle. They just keep on minting ’em. Decade after decade.

I swear they keep on getting hotter though. Shit is beyond.

So I translated from the French…

Gentle, attentive and wishing to enjoy life.

She would ideally like to meet a kind and generous man for something ongoing.

She would love to meet someone respectful and kind who would accomodate her for a few weeks if possible while she finds accomodation in Paris.

Are you fucking kidding me? Do my eyes deceive me, brother?

Nope. It’s real. This 10 wants to meet a cool dude and move in for a few weeks.

Let that sink in for a minute!

She doesn’t want to meet a dud. She wants to meet a man she is extremely attracted to (of course)….

and she will fuck your brains out for weeks this summer while searching for a place of her own.

All over your flat. On the bed. On the floor. Bent over the kitchen table.

It’s like the stuff of dreams, my friend.

She’s clearly indicating the kind of man you need to be in order to land this. NOT just “some guy” who will put her up and then make clumsy advances.

If you’ve got an apartment in Paris, a nice car to go pick her up, a cool vibe, no bumps in the road, sexy demeanour… she is literally fucking yours. Right now.

Be sure to check her out carefully and walk away if there are red flags. I didn’t see any though!

You don’t have a flat in Paris??? No chiseled physique??

Why the fuck not? There are flats in Paris. Money exists. Kettlebells exist. The rest is up to you. All those minutes you spent watching garbage on Youtube… you could have been moving towards it.

Maybe you just didn’t want her BADLY ENOUGH. And she will go to someone who does and is driven by his desire to forge himself into the man SHE desires.

Get it? Tens are out there! In droves!

Have your SHIT TOGETHER and be fully dateable on all levels.

Do that first!!!! Be PREPARED! Start NOW!!!! Read my logistics tutorial –> How To Handle Logistics: A Five Step Plan To 10x Your Pulling

And you better be training every day.

The way is in training. Weren’t you paying attention?

Get your SHIT together man… because …

… they are there – in droves – and they are exsquisite, and bored, and horny, and frustrated, and READY… just WAITING for HIM to pop up.. and to be fun and dashing and exciting and creative and original and charming and witty and sexy. And to sweep her away to his castle in the clouds… if only for a moment. For she will take every moment that she can get!

Moments…….. that’s all there is…

Just take her out. Or invite her over. Or grab a quick coffee. Whichever is right. But whatever you do, do your homework. Be prepared. Handle ALL the details. A simple itinerary with pleasurable moments. And have NO EXPECTATIONS. Your ONLY GOAL is to make her smile, to make the day or evening a MAGIC CARPET RIDE for her with no bumps in the road, no awkward decisions she has to make, no fear, NO PRESSURE… only anticipation, interest, delight, comfort… and a sparkle of tantalizing possibility… for mischief.. for wanton abandonment… but first… to allow her to feel safe and open and to just ENJOY THE PLEASURE OF HER COMPANY, while she enjoys the pleasure of yours. That’s it. That’s all you are doing. That’s how you charm a lady. And then you discover what it is that you share.

If you don’t enjoy her company and are not feeling it, don’t push forward. Nothing good will come of it. Find one you DO enjoy.

I made it sound simple but it’s a life’s work for a man to master himself and his circumstances to the point where he can do this with perfect ease, grace and style. But it’s the thing that makes it all worth while.

Learn how to use your VOICE. Can you whisper? Play! Imagine. Take her out of boring, mundane reality…. into sensations… mystery… excitement… adventure…. mischief……. naughtiness.

Like this: This just happened. She is 20. A solid 9+ as far as I can tell (although who really knows with all these filters and crap now!) But I am 50. She can see that. You think age is a problem? She literally doesn’t care. She only cares how you can make her feel.

I had to blank out her username, location and part of her face for privacy but I have no reason to exaggerate. She is hot AF. And this is how she described herself. Pay attention to the description!!

That tells you what you need to know. So I did this.

Bam. READY AF. You can’t see the timing but that last message was INSTARESPONDED. Look for the ones who are READY. She’s made all that effort to be READY for Prince Charming!! See?

And then be prepared to hang on tight. Because inside her is a wild, passionate woman who is probably more sexual than you are… and you have to be able to keep up!

Your only job is to give her pleasure – but not as YOU think she ought to desire it, but how she desires it, and when. Remove all the obstacles that might be in the way of it. Meditate on what it is that is pleasurable. Enjoying the way someone looks is pleasure. Delicious tastes, things to look at, fragrances, fabrics, sounds, words… all of these things can be pleasures.

The strange paradox is that if you completely forget your own pleasure and focus on simply creating pleasure for her, at her own pace – she will love you for it. And you might find… that giving her pleasure becomes an even greater pleasure than your own… 😉

Note how I took her out of ordinary space. I referenced her words to show her I was PAYING ATTENTION. Made it 100% about her and the feelings she is having. She will love you for this! All the information you need in order to solve the mystery that is her is RIGHT THERE for he who knows how to look!

Oh, the possibilities that AWAIT!! That are THERE RIGHT NOW just waiting for you!!!

I am not perfect at this. I am nowhere near perfect. Making yourself into the best you can be is an ART. Like painting, or playing the piano… that can always be refined and improved. The work never stops. It is ALL work. To get to the point where you can PLAY. You cannot avoid the work and in fact he who best applies himself will be he who reaches the finish line first and has the most time left over for pleasures and adventures. But play along the way. Just don’t waste a moment in idleness, in mediocrity or in anything that is LESS than striving with heart and soul and fire for that which you TRULY desire. If you want it badly enough, MAKE it happen. FORGE yourself and your destiny. And never steal power. Become a SOURCE of power. A fountain of life and energy. With more than enough to share. You have it in you. Seek out those who bring it out in you, and bring it out in others. Let’s elevate!

Making A Move (When To Kiss Her) And Initiating Kino (Touch)

First Kiss

If you are hanging out one-on-one and things “seem to be going really well, but you are not sure whether or not to make a move” – generally speaking, you can go in for the kiss. In general, sooner is better.

But do it right!

Not too suddenly!! No and no!! Slow and playful is good! Move in slo-ow. Be having FUN. Not “trying to take something from her” – although you do of course want to do… many things. And so you just cannot resist… flirting… and enjoying the wanting. Look in her eyes mischievously, like “Can you tell what I’m about to do”? She will pick up on that and you will KNOW whether she wants you to do it. If you get within 6 inches, look at her lips and then back at her eyes and it’s obvious what happens next, you will get a reaction without actually doing anything you could be in trouble for, which will give you all the intel you need. If you are face to face and get “the triangle” look – one eye, then the other eye, then your lips, then a smile, it’s game fucking on. Move closer. Allow your lips to part as you look at hers. Do her lips part in response to yours? If so, you’ve got her where you want her. Make her anticipate it more. Make her want it. Make her earn it. Make her put her arms around your neck in helpless magnetism. Then kiss her.. and enjoy to the utmost that you are able to, the electric, incredible sensation of the first moment your lips touch.. and then the second.. and then every time afterwards.

“The right way to do it is to do it, do it, do it til the feeling’s gone.”

You can also ‘fake kiss’ for fun – move in seductively as though you are going to kiss her passionately and romantically, and then when she melts, her lips part and her eyes close, boop her on the nose gently with your fingertip and say ‘got you’, and then when she pulls away and smiles, outraged, pull her back in and then kiss her properly. You can also “deliberately miss her mouth” with a last-minute swerve. Be playful! And revel in anticipation. Anticipation is an entire universe for women! It is not the default world for men, but explore it… understand how much it matters to her and you will score many points!

At every step of the way, be attentive and note her reaction to your moves:
Wide eyes, dilated pupils, smile, melting into your arms, her hands finding new places on your body = go.
Hesitation, nervousness, discomfort, hands taken off you completely, arms folding protectively over her body, looking around nervously (she’s probably signaling to her GF to come “rescue her”) = stop.

Back off if she wants you to back off. And if she wants you to step on the gas, step on the damn gas my friend. But this should, above all, be FUN – and if you find that you are just not being drawn more deeply into your sense of fun and mischief by her… if you find yourself not actually liking her as much as you thought you did… pull over. You might want to just give this one a miss. Listen to yourself. It may be that something else is calling you and that you should follow that call instead. Life is a dance and you must follow the dance where’er it leads…

If she indicates either verbally or non verbally you to cool off… don’t necessarily assume it’s all over. She might be testing a bit to see if you will respect her boundaries and take things at HER pace. You might have gotten a bit overheated 😉 and your temperature rising faster than hers. She might still really like you! Tune in to her. If she’s still hanging out with you, one on one…. she’s probably still interested! If she says she wants to go home – you should definitely take her home, or call the cab, or whatever. But for the love of God upon the earth… make sure she gets home safe. That’s the only gentlemanly thing to do and if there is only one thing you take from this page, this would be it!

So you have to understand that “last minute resistance” is different from “no thanks” and you need to be able to navigate it. Some girls will give zero resistance, some will put up roadblocks that they WANT you to skillfully navigate, and others want you to back the fuck off. Pay close attention and get it right!

The great thing about this is that going in for the kiss is “safe”, generally speaking. It sure is safer than going in hands first. The worst you will get if you go in for the kiss at a pace that gives her the opportunity to bail if she wants to is a pullback / turn away / excuse.

If she flat out refuses the kiss, like stone cold – especially with a hand up in the “stop” gesture… and looks mortified… that’s a “strong rejection” and it’s time to man up, admit to yourself that you cocked up (hey we all do), go home, forget it and self-improve.

Don’t grab. Don’t sulk. Don’t pressure her!!! ENJOY the fact that life has shown you that you need to improve. Learn! Be cool with the journey of life and its ups and downs.

It’s very obvious, once you understand. If you get eagerness, then proceed. If you get reluctance / resistance, don’t. And if she doesn’t want to kiss you then it’s a safe assumption that she doesn’t want anything else either!

First Touch

For the ultimate in style, offer your hand (palm up, in front of your body; either gracefully, with a VERY subtle flourish or somewhat assertively, depending on your style) without saying anything, but with a sort of cool eye contact that says “take it”. She will either take it (good) or sit there looking at it with a sort of “what are you doing?” look on her face (bad, unless she’s bluffing you for fun). If I offer the hand and she doesn’t take it, and there’s a ‘flatliner response’, I pretty much eject – because there’s no vibe.

But timing is important. You are inviting her to follow your lead. This is an entirely socially acceptable gesture and what’s cool about it is that you are initiating touch without actually touching her. You basically cannot get slapped for it and it’s just overall cool.

When a woman is really responsive, likes you and is attentive to your cues, you will get “ready responses” to gestures like this. Offering the hand is classy and sets you apart as a gentleman with style. If she isn’t down, save your time – and if there is something for you to learn, learn it!

The learning never stops, as far as I can tell…

Active Touch: Any sort of selfish grab or “stolen” erotic touch is not ok and could get you in a lot of trouble. And you don’t even need to do it, so don’t be an idiot! Learn which are the “socially acceptable” places for early physical contact – hands, shoulder, upper back, arms, hair and hugs are probably ‘safest’- and the response will give you a ‘temperature reading’. If the water is warm, proceed – at her pace. Savour the moment!

For even greater “safety”, yet still clearly indicating your intentions, is to touch her lightly on the back of the hand – this is one of the most respectful of touches. Don’t linger too long – and “accept” her reaction as something that is perfectly within her rights. You are not trying to trap her. You are trying to invite her to become more free…

Hugs

If You Are Hugging: There are different kinds of hugs, learn to recognize them.

• If she gives you the pitty pat on the back – not a good sign. An indicator of disinterest.

• If she ‘releases’ (it’s obvious)… the hug is over. Do not cling on!! 🙂

• If she just holds on and doesn’t ‘release’.. stay in there. She may just want comfort, in which case just be comforting. But this is a fairly good sign. Let her just bask in this space for a little while. The longer she holds on to you, the better a sign in general. And pay attention, because you may sense a shift in the vibe. If she seems to be getting more into the hug, the longer it goes on… she probably wants you.

• If she’s getting turned on, you will feel a certain “feeling” that’s hard to describe in words, but you know it when you feel it. I call it “the shift below” in reference to Carlos Castaneda. It kind of feels like that. Like something just started melting 😉 Something in her energy moves down in her body. She might seem hotter to the touch, like her body just got a glow of heat (it did). She may push her hips in to you more. Game on.

• If she is still holding you and moves her face right in front of yours, I’d say that’s a definite kiss-me-now move. If she is hugging you and not letting go and makes eye contact – same. Make your move amigo.

First Erotic Touch

There are situations in which the first touch can be an erotic one, but that is more advanced – and I am quite hesitant to write this because I absolutely do not want to cause problems. First of all, don’t be a pillock. You have to be a pro at reading the vibe before you even attempt erotic touch, otherwise big problems. The time has to be right – for her. Don’t be selfish. Selfish will not get you what you want and will only bring things you do not want!

The next thing, note that when I say erotic touch, I do not mean erogenous zones. Boobs, bum and pussy are a NO and you’ll get bloody arrested!

If she already agreed to ‘bounce with you’ and the two of you are now “in your own bubble”, then a nice first erotic touch is a fingertip. NOT a grab! Just the tip of the index finger, traced softly on her arm, shoulder, back, hand (palm or back of the hand) or hair. And this is enough! Enough to know whether she is feeling the vibe or not. Enough to say ‘this is where this is going’ and give her the opportunity to jump out if she wishes. If she seems to come alive, maybe shakes her hair free and becomes more attentive and interested… proceed. She’ll let you know!

If you did everything else right, you will start to turn her on with this touch. It can be a very electric moment if done well. I once did this fingertip touch across a girl’s bare belly, the first time I touched her. Extremely daring. I wanted her like crazy and the vibe was ON. She had a short top on exposing her belly. I traced my index finger tip across it as we were standing together, looking at each other… a super light and soft touch, like silk – and the reaction was instant arousal. She LOVED it and cried out “Ohh yummmmy!!!” It spiked her arousal so much it took me by surprise! And oh man, the way she kissed me. I could have died and gone to heaven. Not recommended until you are a ‘pro’ – and ONLY when the vibe is SUPER ON should you do more daring / exciting things like this. NEVER before she has agreed to “go one on one” with you and it’s just the two of you in your own world. And ALWAYS at a pace that gives her the freedom to de-escalate in comfort if she wishes to! Be very attentive to signals and cues, be respectful AF and SENSE when it’s time to move forward or back.

Be man enough to accept her signals (they are all gifts!) and to adjust accordingly with either development or graceful withdrawal. Like any other sports game, you accept defeat gracefully! And sometimes, just sometimes, if you accept rejection with perfect grace, it will charm her and she will want more of you – because who is that classy, really? Not that many people.

Grace is the ultimate rock star quality, at the end of the day…

“Treat Me Like A Princess”

Here’s a random dating profile thumbnail that prompted a train of thought before I even clicked it.

I didn’t even click it!

First of all, she has NO idea how I treat princesses and it might be a bit different to what she is shopping for 😉 Or maybe there is another side to her that craves that too…….. maybe she has it all within her and it’s up to you to coax out of her… if you can? Do you have the skill?

Let’s unpack this. She’s testing for betas / simps – right off the bat. That’s the most important question in her mind! Front and center! She’s a strong independent woman (or likes to think she is, because that’s what’s fashionable these days, certainly not being a housewife, oh no!) So it goes like this: She is putting out the feelers to see if you lead with your wallet – or if you have the skill to take the lead, win her over and turn her into the other creature she has within her. The one you want.

Lead with your wallet and she will allow you to entertain her. So long as she’s in charge, so long as the wallet stays open, so long as you don’t “pressure her”, and so long as someone richer OR hotter OR both doesn’t come along, at which point she will either ghost or “my mum just came into town unannounced” or some shit.

But what she REALLY wants… is Mr. Exciting.

She wants to be treated like a princess – by the peasants, AND by the eligible Handsome Prince… AND perhaps, secretly… by the mysterious Dark Knight.

Just don’t approach her like a peasant hoping for a “crumb from her table”.

It’s despicable, really, that any man would do that – would disgrace himself enough to pick up what she is putting down here, in other words she puts out the leash and says “here little doggie” and you go up with waggy tail and do what she tells you. Don’t do it!! But presumably tons of guys do, because this shit is all over the internet. Notably of course on “simp sites” like the dating site I pulled this random example from.

The Handsome Prince, on the other hand… will go up to her and go “Interesting leash. I have this amazing trick I can do with that leash, want to see it? Here, give that to me.” And then clip it onto her – somewhere, wherever – and say “What are you doing? Are you trying to come home with me? We’ve only just met.” And then drop the leash back in her hand with a wink.

etc. etc. etc. Or whatever. The point is, he takes the lead, plays, lights her up, turns her on and sweeps her up into his awesome world…

If you are mug enough to pay her bills and fund her “lifestyle”, then she’ll let you. All the way up to your limit.

But will you get a BJ out of it? Probably not. But if you do, it will only be as good as it needs to be.

You cool with that? Really?

She’s already categorized you. If you are a “good looking beta”, who does have interest from other girls and therefore a risk of straying, then she may give you more and better BJs than the other girls give – just enough in quantity and quality – to keep you “in the pocket”. But you are being played. Learn to tell when it’s real and don’t fall into her frame.

Remember this: Her fantasy is NOT that “some guy” will treat her like a princess, it’s that the hot guy will treat her like a princess. The peasants are boring, but useful to her. That is all.

Did you note the logical flaw in all this? Think about it. Why is the hot guy going to treat her (or anyone) better than he needs to? Why would he run around after her when hotter girls would fuck him without him having to. This is the part you need to understand. Being hot takes focused time management and self discipline towards YOUR goals, not hers!

If you are really hot / desirable / non-betafied, then she will make herself available to you without any of these absurd “hoops to jump through” and without you actually treating her like a “princess” at all.

She’s just a woman.

So how about you decide how you are going to treat her – which should be authentic to your true desires. You OFFER THAT.

Her only decision is whether she is down or not. That’s it.

LIKE THIS:

Her profile text. 19yo, solid 9+.

And the chat:

And another one bites the dust! 🙂

You see? I ignored her frame 100% and came in with my own authentic vibe. Instantly turned her on.

And then you just naturally lead. If she wants to come with you (in both senses of the word), she will. 🙂 If she “falls off”… let her go, DON’T CHASE, learn, improve… and then go find another one!

If she’s down, she will pop up and be amenable to situations / steer you towards situations where it’s “just the two of you”, without any necessity of some expensive venue where she can pose for Insta selfies (don’t you just hate that shit? She’s flexing on her GFs, that’s all it is!)

Do you really think she gives a damn about expensive surroundings when sex is the #1 thing on her mind?

Well, do you? No. You’d be just as happy in the back of a Toyota Corolla, what matters is how hot she is and the chemistry between you.

And it’s the same for her. This shit isn’t really that hard to figure out in the end. Never lead with your wallet, because if she isn’t already impressed before the wallet came open, she sure isn’t suddenly going to get moist for you when it does. Turn her on first, reward her for being a good girl later in the manner you wish to. You’re the candyman and her reward is more of you.

Want to date me? There are criteria! If all you are getting is the ‘simp roadblock’ type crap, with “requirements” and various criteria of any kind in order to get to first base… she doesn’t see you as hot. Face it, you probably are not hot. 🙂 You could become hot, though. It’s a lot of work but worth every minute. Your #1 goal in life is therefore to GET HOTTER. It’s far better to put yourself on the pedestal in life, not girls. Become the God. Not in a delusional way. But in the way of the man who diligently crafts himself into someone he is proud to be. Then you get girls as a by-product of that success. That is the way!

Put your credit card back in your pocket. You earned that money for YOU. It’s yours. Now get off the internet and your ass down the gym!

So that first girl, the pic at the top of this post. I haven’t even looked at her profile. How the heck did I glean all this info just from a selfie and a headline?

Years of situations with women and years of studying male-female dynamics. You need to get this good at reading situations and people, so that you don’t get burnt.

You will get there.

You can also see that even on “simp websites”, you can still pull. If you’ve got the game. And they are full of hotties, actually. She will make exceptions to her little “rules” for the hot guy, no matter what platform he pops up on. He always gets pole position. And the rest is all a massive shit test. There are no rules except the ones you lay down – and if she isn’t down with the masterplan then you are the one that does the rejecting.

If You See Something Like This In A Dating Profile… Run…

I see crap like this so often it’s deeply troubling – in the sense that it makes me think that humanity is an absolute trainwreck.

Can you see what’s wrong with this scenario? Everything. More red flags than a military parade in Tiananmen Square.

Read the profile, fellas. Don’t just look at her tits. Learn about this person – because some situations are not worth it and not fun – and you have to peep game in order to steer clear.

She is in a very toxic relationship (MASSIVE red flag). The fuck?? So right off the bat this lady has very obvious BAGGAGE and drama and is hoping to be rescued (or perhaps to just have something dishonest on the side).

The thing she seems not to notice is this.. what on earth kind of “Real Man” is going to want to be a part of this scenario??? Does she seriously think she is dateable with this kind of train wreck happening?? Does she think that out there is some amazing guy who is going to fully accept her story that none of it is her fault and that she is just a perfect angel with a broken wing? Does her “real man” not have better options than this???

She also has 2 kids (perhaps with allegedly toxic person, perhaps not.) Is she lining this “real man” (another red flag when they say that) up to be a provider for someone else’s kids? Or are the kids going to have a toxic dad and a dishonest mum who is fucking someone else on the side..?

Fuckin’ yikes.

She wants to start something new with a good guy… but she is not single. You think her partner knows she is cheating? Obviously not. So she is “looking for that genuine connection” while being transparently dishonest – and doesn’t seem to even notice that this is a problem. Oh I get it. That’s allowed – “because he’s toxic”.

She says that if you treat her well she will treat you better but is oblivious to how poorly she is already treating whoever the fuck has the misfortune to stumble upon this profile. That’s not a good sign of what’s to come.

This amazing guy that she is picturing – he has options. Why the FUCK would he choose this? Even if we give her the benefit of the doubt and accept her story that her partner is very toxic – an abuser or whatever. This then means that dating her puts the new guy at risk of an encounter with said person. Yes it does.

Toxic person. Sounds like he could be controlling, violent, who knows? Who knows when he will steal her phone, find out she is cheating and drive round to your place at 3am.

Does that sound like fun to you? Does that sounds like her “treating you better than you treat her”??

When you make a connection with someone, you also make a connection to their circle. This is important to understand. Whoever they are still dealing with, whichever toxic person they have not cut ties with, becomes part of the overall scenario. This is why it’s called baggage.

Run. Just run. IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW CUTE SHE IS. Insta-next!

If you want a successful dating life, get your baggage handled BEFORE you date; rather than seeing someone else as a rescuer. And apply the same to the people you date. If they are looking for a rescuer… this is not a situation that you want to be a part of.

If you are in a toxic scenario, you cut those ties before you date a new person! You don’t bring that toxic energy along for the ride and just expect the new person to deal with it “because you are worth it”. Fuck no! Counselling, if needed. Cut toxic ties. Get happy in your single life. Then attract a new partner.

ps. Anyone with English as their first language who writes “a women” in a dating profile is semi-literate – another reason to give them a wide berth.

How To Recognize IOIs (Indicators Of Interest) From Women + List Of IOIs

How To Recognize IOIs (Indicators Of Interest) From Women: This is something of a follow-up to my last post The 3 Second Rule – which is about seizing the moment. In order to take effective action, you first need to be able to read the situation correctly. In order to seize the moment you must first read the moment!

When it comes to IOIs – Indicators Of Interest – most men are clueless. They literally cannot tell when a woman is into them. I certainly was utterly clueless about this, when I was younger. I mean, ridiculously so. Then I studied game and it all started making sense. It also makes things fun as hell when you get this. This is one of the most valuable topics in the game you could study so pay attention! Learning whether or not a woman is interested in you is valuable and even important. Women will not often tell you directly but I can promise you that they all wish men would “just get it”.

It’s very interesting how this works and once you do get it… it is life changing.

The thing that most men don’t realize, really, is this: Men and women have a different “subconscious language”. They don’t find it perfectly easy to read each other’s “subcommunications” – especially men. Women in general are much more attuned to subcommunications – the non-verbal part of the conversation – than men.

Why this is, is not perfectly well understood – but I have my theories on it that do make sense. Going back to our ancient primal days, men (especially alpha men) communicate more directly. This is quite simply because they have less to be afraid of. There are less consequences to letting their feelings be known – because even if someone doesn’t approve of those feelings – who is gonna do anything about it? The alpha male is generally less afraid thus communicates directly. Now in old times, women, being physically smaller generally speaking, evolved with a greater need for safety. They thus learned to communicate with each other in more subtle ways. They also needed greater peripheral awareness. Like a songbird in the garden is always on the lookout for predators and will take flight at the slightest disturbance. It’s hardwired.

Anyway – whether or not any of that is correct, women do appear to have a much greater peripheral awareness and nuance when it comes to interactions.

You can learn all this stuff and as a man, it is very much in your interests to do so. Women won’t typically teach you it directly.

If a woman is attracted to a man, she will – contrary to popular belief – very often in fact make some kind of a move first. This doesn’t mean that she will (unless she is bold) open you directly by coming and saying “Hello handsome”. Probably not. However she will do various things – consciously or unconsciously – to signal attraction and catch your attention.

The other thing to bear in mind is that it is generally good to “mirror interest”. In other words, don’t reward lack of interest with continued interest, and don’t reward interest with lack of interest (except in a very specific way of ‘breaking rapport’ – but that is not today’s topic). This is pretty important and one of women’s most common complaints is continued interest from men they have expressed clearly their disinterest in. Don’t do that!

List Of IOIs:

Proximity: You might find her standing near you “for no apparent reason” – pretending not to have seen you but hoping you will notice her. She may also “arrange for your paths to cross”. If you are on the dance floor, you might find her nearby, acting as though she would like to be noticed. This last one can sometimes be tricky to decipher as it might be someone else who is the target, not you. But you can generally somehow tell. And if you start a conversation it will rapidly become obvious. She will either happily give you her undivided attention or she will appear not to want to commit all of her focus to you. Recognize these signs.

Preening: The moment you appear, she suddenly becomes concerned with her appearance? Good sign. The most typical way this happens is through fussing over the hair. They will give it a quick 3-second makeover. The more the makeover, the better the sign. Twirling the hair or fussing over it while talking to you – great sign also.

Eyebrow flash: Both men and women do this and almost all do not notice they are doing it. They raise their eyebrows briefly upon eye contact.

Eye contact: Now people make eye contact during conversation as a habit. But there are certain types of eye contact that are a giveaway: Eye contact, then looking down? She likes you, possibly quite a lot. Eye contact, then down, then back to eye contact, then smile. She really likes you. Eye contact then breaks off sideways instead of down – she is NOT interested or she disapproves of what you just did. Try doing this deliberately and see the effect. Amazing isn’t it! But the most classic sign to look for is a certain “gaze” that females do when they are smitten. It’s unmistakeable when you recognize it. It’s a sort of starry-eyed, wide eyed look of adoration.

“Casing you up” when you aren’t looking: Women are super-fast ninjas at this and most men do not even realize when women are checking them out. She will scope you out within 0.2 seconds and you probably won’t catch her doing it. Start using your peripheral vision and clocking whether she is checking you out. The more times she glances at you – the better the sign. You can sometimes use a window as a mirror to catch them looking. If you have crappy eyesight – you are going to have a much harder time here too. Have a female friend (a trusted one, not a cockblocker) roll with you and ask her to tell you when women are checking you / into you. Because women will notice this stuff way faster than men. She can help train you and it’s a fun game. Note however that when you are with a woman, other women will check you out more in general. So this exercise can skew the amount of interest you get; but it can help you learn to detect when it’s there.

Undivided attention / Quick responses: If she texts, and you forget to text back, and then two days later you text back and she answers in 5 seconds. Very good sign. If she is willing to drop everything and roll with you – very very good sign. If she makes excuses, seems unresponsive etc – don’t make too many assumptions but almost certainly it’s not a great sign.

Dressing Up For You: If she makes a big effort to look good for you, it’s a very good sign. The more effort she makes, the stronger her interest. There was one girl, one time who literally locked herself in my bathroom “the morning after” for over an hour doing her makeup before she would allow me to see her face. She was fine AF even without the makeup but she wanted to be like bam! Massive IOI! Contrast with the girl who is gone before you wake up… or the one who knew you were coming by and opens the door looking like she doesn’t even care…

Alone with you: She was with her friends, then you came along, and you two started chatting it up. The next thing you know, all her friends left you to it? Very good sign. Either she indicated to them to push off when you weren’t looking, or they already knew she was into you and that it was time to leave you to it. Girls will generally watch each other’s back and will not leave their girls alone to “fend for herself” with a man that she is not into! In general, if she arranges or steers things towards some kind of situation where she is alone with you? Very good sign. She might well try to make it look like it was accidental and “just happened” – yeah right! On the other hand, if she seems uncomfortable with the idea of being alone with you / makes effort to avoid it? That’s a sign of disinterest. If her friend comes along out of nowhere and says “We have to go to the bathroom now, bye!” – you are done. She secretly gave the “rescue me” signal to her friend, who dutifully obliged. It’s just part of the pact that women everywhere have with each other. Move on and let it go, it’s over.

Closed or open posture? Arms folded, looking around the room, not smiling – not a good sign. Don’t reward that. Physically open, facing you, sticking her chest out at you – it’s looking good.

Touching you: Very good sign. If she touches you for any reason other than strictly necessary – good sign. If you are facing the other way and you feel her touch you to get your attention – good sign. The more sensual those touches, the better! If when talking she comes in real close, brushing her body against you – great sign. Again, she might or might not make some effort to make it appear ‘accidental’. It’s fun to ask yourself if it was an accident. It probably wasn’t.

Compliance: If you hold out your hand casually as if to say “take my hand” and she eagerly takes it – good sign. If she gives your hand a “knowing squeeze”, even better. If she just sits there with a dumb look on her face, looking at your hand like “what TF is that doing there?” – not so great. If you “lead” her in some way and she eagerly follows – good sign. If there is resistance – don’t keep pushing, back off.

Excitement: If she seems excited, smiley, happy, eyes sparkling when you start giving her attention – great sign.

Girly Voice: If her voice goes up to a higher pitch and becomes more of a sensual, feminine ‘bedroom voice’ – I’d say it’s probably on! Take note of the different voice tones people will use when they address their sweetheart to the tone they use for ordinary social or business occasions. Which of those voices is she using with you?

I am sure I will think of more and will add them later but this is a great start. Look back into your recent past and see if you can remember situations where you suddenly realize “Damn, she was into me and I just didn’t see it!” Now you can start recognizing the signs and taking the right action. 🙂

Online IOIs

Instaresponding / Attentiveness: If you write to her and BAM she is writing back in 2 seconds – very good sign. If there are massive gaps in the text, you might as well take it that she’s not ‘hooked’ and has something else more interesting going on – although of course people do have stuff to do, sometimes. But in general, when Mr. Awesome comes along, she will instarespond. Note that sometimes women will deliberately leave a gap to ‘test the water’ and see if you chase. Don’t chase. Send your message and get on with your day or at least have something to be getting on with so that you are not just sitting there like a lemon while she gets chatted up by someone else! Importantly; don’t follow up with another message (ever!) – even if it takes months. Go chat someone else up. You would be amazed, if you do this, at the number of times they pop up weeks later, after having realized that they aren’t going to hear from you again, which in fact raises their interest level!

Questions: Questions, in general, are a very good sign. Questions that include the word “you” are usually very positive IOIs. “You” is a very romantic word for a woman to be using in general. Start noticing.

Emojis and Kisses: Their overall use varies considerably from person to person but generally speaking, if you are getting kisses and hearts in abundance, move things forward.

“Hiiiii’ or “Heyyyyy”: If she is adding extra i’s on her “hi” it’s pretty much a sign of interest – the more the better:

There’s an old joke that if you get to about 5 i’s on the end it means “just fuck me now” and I’d say this is a fairly good indicator of her emotions.

She opened you: If you get “opened” by a woman online i.e. she writes first – it’s a very positive sign. Women generally only do this if they really like a guy. If you get opened with “Hey Handsome x”, or this is her first message of the day to you, then it is on like Tron my friend. “Hey handsome” is woman-code for “I’m really into you, arrange a date with me asap please and sweep me off my feet”.

“Good morning”: If you were chatting the day before and you get “Good morning” – just a sweet message that is “being nice for no reason other than being nice” – she’s thinking of you. Very strong IOI. Ask this woman on a date now (assuming you want to of course lol).

Any reference to liking how you look, or liking you in your pics: She’s attracted to you.

Number drop / another way to get hold of her: This one is not necessarily an IOI. Either she likes you, or she’s about to try to sell you some nudes. If you got a number drop without a profile view – psssh, this is very possibly a scammer / sales tactic. Especially if it seems like a copy-paste message that doesn’t have any personal reference in it at all.

This is a real IOI:

NOTE OF COURSE: that any of the above can become null and void at any time! Just because she was giving you this vibe one day, doesn’t mean she is going to feel the same way the next day at all. All of her emotions are in the moment and are valid for that moment only.

The 3 Second Rule

Life Is Truly Short. And now is the time. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Not next year.

How do I know this?

Because of what just happened – and because I’m an old fuck, who is looking back upon days of glory that happened 10, 20, 30 years ago. Days that are gone forever. Lost moments, frozen in time; that now only exist in some dusty corner of that magical library we call memory.

And when I am gone…. it will all be gone too.

So live that life you want to live while you have the chance. Make it happen. This is real talk, not just a proverb. It will haunt you if you don’t!

Like I keep saying throughout this blog, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. We all do it. Even after 30+ years in the game, I still do it sometimes.

Like fucking today. I’ll be damned if I didn’t do it today. This just happened…

When you are getting older, it’s more common that you will be feeling like garbage. No excuses – but it gets harder. Had insomnia last night til 9am because of back pain. So to say that I was feeling rough today would be a bit of an understatement. Wasn’t even planning on setting foot outside my door.

Pulling was literally the last thing on my mind. I had subconsciously written it off even as a possibility (bad idea!)

Needed some plywood sheets for a cabinet I am making. Decided to just roll down to the local hardware store – 5 mins drive – and grab them.

Didn’t even occur to me AT ALL to be prepared for the game, physically or mentally. Just feeling too garbage and preoccupied with my day to even consider it. And tbh just not even giving a fuck. Or at least, thinking that I didn’t give a fuck. (I was wrong about that; who was I kidding?)

I have this badass jacket and always wear cool boots, so I slung my jacket on and off I went. Whatever. Didn’t even look in the mirror.

Got my plywood. Came out of the store.

And then fuck me. Walking across the parking lot right in front of me was the most unbelievably gorgeous 19-20yo raven haired beauty I have literally EVER seen in this part of the world.

A perfect 10. A real one. I kid you not. As fine as fine can be. Just wandering past the hardware store in a boring town on a boring day.

She even gave her hair a shake and a quick preen as she crossed my field of view, not even 5 yards away from me. What?? Signs of attraction?? Me??

Nobody else in this parking lot right now bro!

But.. but… I’m old, tired and unshaven and…

I was so down on myself and my demoralized insomniac state, that I just let her walk on by – without even so much as a “What’s up, raven sista?”

That’s all it would have taken. I even had my catch card with me. And to my eternal shame…. I just let her walk right on by… and out of my life, probably forever. Got in my car and drove away. I think she was even watching me drive off.

Too late. Game over.

You probably do this every day. Yes you do. Most men in fact, probably do this every day. Ever think to yourself that you don’t get laid enough? That means you are doing this. Admit it. I just did.

You never know when you are going to run into the girl of your dreams. It could happen any time and anywhere, literally.

Of course, living out in bumfuck the chances are she probably won’t be just wandering by. But every so often… she will be. And you have to be prepared to catch at any time. ANY time. Because this is how it goes!

And sometimes, you’ve only got 3 seconds to make your move…

Life is full of windows of opportunity. They open – sometimes so very briefly – and those who are prepared – mentally and physically – will seize the moment. Those who aren’t, lose.

No excuses are allowed – because life truly doesn’t give a shit. Taking action – right now – is the only thing that matters in this world – because winning is everything.

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” This applies not just to beautiful women who pop up out of nowhere, but to everything else in life. Quite often, there are opportunities that only come around once and then the moment is lost, never to return! Sometimes you have to show ’em what you got, at the drop of a dime. Could you do that? Could you? Right now?

Now of course you might not be feeling “on”, but champions don’t feel on 100% of the time. They have their good days and their bad days but they still show up and are still champion despite the bad days.

You would do so much better at 50% of your peak form than 0% because you didn’t even bother to take a shot… because you told yourself you were not “on” today or whatever other excuse you made.

So to wrap this up: In the game we used to apply a thing called the 3 Second Rule. It was Mystery and Matador, I believe, who developed it. Mad props to those guys! The concept is this: Between the moment you spot a woman you are attracted to, and the moment you go for it, you have 3 seconds, maximum. That’s all you are allowed. 3-2-1 go! If you dither and hesitate, not only do you often miss the window of opportunity, but your lack of confidence also comes across as weak and purposeless, which is unattractive. A man of purpose knows what he wants, believes he deserves to get it and has no qualms about doing something about it.

ALSO – the longer you leave it, the more the “hamster wheel” starts turning – of excuses, concerns, fears, “what ifs” and whatever other mental / emotional baggage your subconscious can throw in the path to derail you and sabotage you.

Instead of clicking right into gear today, I literally talked myself out of it because my “frame” was completely bent out of shape. It was only when I was half a mile down the road that I realized what I should have done. And what I am! Goddamn it, I’m not some piece of shit! I just had a sleepless night! I have lived a life of badass adventures worldwide and am wearing the coolest jacket she’s probably ever seen in this part of the world! No surprise she was attracted to me, really. I do have what she wants, after all.. I really do. 😉

But retrospect is a b*tch. You gotta get your frame straight BEFORE you head out the door. It takes 5 seconds! You are worth it! Look in the mirror and tell yourself that.

And she’s probably bored, horny and longing for someone to come along and show her a great time…

The 3 second rule WORKS. It’s absolutely the right mindset to be in. When you get to the point where you can “click in” in 3 seconds and start gaming, no matter whether you slept or what… you are officially in the major league. Just this fix I promise you will change your life!

Another fuckup is assuming that you are unattractive and being so convinced of that, that you fail to notice and act upon signs of interest by someone else.

I mean, whose standards matter in that moment? Yours or hers? If she is stunning and wants to fuck you, do you really want to talk her (or yourself) out of it because you don’t feel at your best? Really? 🙂

Attraction is natural. It’s normal! Nature took care of that part for you bro. So if she is into you and all the signs are there, does it really matter whether you feel like she “ought to be”? Hell no! Recognize the signs, reward IOIs with IOIs and make your move, my man. 3-2-1 go!

Anyway there you go. Game lesson of the day. Let my loss be your gain. If this reaches ONE person and causes something amazing to happen, my work is done.