Category: Uncategorized

Own It

She dumped you / ghosted you / is ignoring you / is treating you poorly / etc?

Maybe it’s not “because she’s a bitch”.

Maybe it’s because you screwed it all up.

The flower opens its petals when the sun’s rays fall upon it.

Maybe it’s just like that with her. It’s a very good way to look at it. Women are “elemental creatures”. Girls just wanna have fun. When the sun shines, she wants to bask in its rays.

Or as a beautiful female friend of mine once said, in reference to dating – “I want to go swimming where the water is warm, not where there are shards of ice floating around.”

She ditched you and it hurts?

What hurts?

The fact that you are not all that you should be, and she just revealed that to you.

Own it. Face it. Don’t push it off onto her and carry on being the idiot you were being.

Quit the denial. Take it on board. Yes it’s tough. Growth is painful.

Your game wasn’t smooth. Your look is not magnetic. Your affairs aren’t in order. You put pressure on her. You projected your unhappiness with your life onto her and expected her to solve that for you.

Does the sun start shouting at a flower from behind the clouds “Open your petals, bitch! How dare you treat me this way!”?

Can you imagine anything more utterly ridiculous than if it were to do that??

No. It simply has its shit together. It shines. Flower opens.

So now imagine that it’s always like this, with women.

If she flaked, ghosted, ignored you, treated you coldly etc. Why do you think that was?

Own it. Accept the “divine truth” that the universe has shown you. And it’s true meaning:

You have work to do. Real work. Work on self transformation. NOT self pity. NOT self abuse. Work. Difficult stuff that needs to be done that will make your life better. Get cracking.

It’s actually a beautiful thing that the universe has given you this “divine feminine mirror” to show you a perfect reflection of yourself. When you are able to look in that mirror, and understand that the way she is treating you is entirely a reflection of the way you are living, and to accept that insight with gratitude; then you are on course.

This intel, in the end, is what will give you real confidence. Think about the mirror in your hallway or bathroom. You have absolute faith that when you stand in front of it, your reflection will be there.

The mirror gives you perfect clarity. Do you shout at the mirror “You motherfucker! Make me feel good!” No, you accept what the mirror is telling you and you take action accordingly.

It’s the same with women. Your life is your responsibility and the way the women in your life react to you is ultimately on you.

And when you really have it going on, you will have abundant options – so get that handled first and stop looking to her as though she’s your only hope. You are your only hope!

Conveying Value

Just to round out this quick tutorial – there are bound to be circumstances in which you find yourself thinking “I have all this value and she just doesn’t see it“.

There are a few things to unpack here.

1) Nobody cares and why should they. Just because you think something is valuable, why should she? Isn’t she allowed to decide for herself what is valuable? Why not learn about her and appreciate her, without judgement. She likes what she likes and if you don’t like that, you don’t like her, so let her go.

2) Are you really as great as you think you are?

3) Are you arranging circumstances in such a way that your value is actually demonstrated? Imagine a musician – a fantastic guitarist – who sits at home alone, playing better than anyone else in the world. But never actually gives a concert. And then gets upset when he has no fans. Having value is one thing, communicating and giving that value is another. Are you truly sharing your gifts? Or, to put it more bluntly as Rosebudd did – “She don’t know shit about your style until you bring it to her ass.”

4) Maybe she just has other crap going on in her life aside from you. Cut her some slack. And instead of fretting, you can spend your time becoming even more awesome. It’s really ok to be even more fantastic, you know. 😉

5) Not everyone in this world is going to get you. Even the best guitarist in the world isn’t loved by everyone. But if you are truly on point, you will have an abundance of options. If you see her as your only or your best option, what does that say? That there are no other girls of her calibre in existence? That’s ridiculous. The reality is that they are out there – but you can’t get them and so you cling to her like a piece of driftwood. Which is in fact an appropriate metaphor because it indicates that you are drifting, rather than being the captain of your ship, sailing the high seas and heading for the paradise island.

6) Finally – is she being negatively influenced? There are two aspects to this a) personal interference b) society influence.
Be sure that there is no-one running interference in your life. Read Removing Manipulative People, Cockblocks, Cunts And Swindlers From Your Life.
Society has its own imperative to train the thinking of people and well, you just have to be such a strong force for good that you override it. So when it comes to interference, yes, be sure that it is not happening, but for the most part, focus on your own self improvement and have faith that in the end, positive qualities will win out.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Are you fun?

It’s a pretty good question to ask yourself.

The key to being fun is to be happy, deep down, with the life you have created for yourself.

Imagine that your “surface layer” – the curated version of yourself you present to the world – is transparent; and that you cannot hide your deep emotional state from her. Imagine that she has the all-seeing eye… and that she can look into your soul… and see whether you are truly happy with your life… and that her choice of whether to get with you was based on that…

Would she get with you?

Are you excited about your life? Are you living an adventure? Do you have bright, fantastic dreams and are you taking the actual steps toward them? YOUR dreams. Not someone else’s, yours. Are you “living your Dharma”?

Fun is simply a natural consequence of a life lived that way.

This is a pretty tough one to take on board but it highlights absolutely what is probably the #1 dating mistake that guys make…

They look to women as a way to solve their fundamental unhappiness.

Trust me, if you do this, you will experience nothing but rejection and bitterness.

If you approach things this way, the energy is all wrong. It’s as though you are an empty cup and you are expecting her to fill it.

It’s needy. It’s demanding. It’s pressuring. It’s uncomfortable. It’s not fun. There are all these requirements and things you are expecting of her.

You are trying to take value, rather than giving value.

Oop. You just got blocked / ghosted.

The key to this is to create the life you truly want first, and then date. Note – you don’t have to be “at the finish line”. But you do have to be on the right track and moving on up. When you are on point with this and you wake up thinking “I LOVE my life”, you cease to be an “energy vacuum” or an empty vessel or whatever you want to call it. You become a “cup that overfloweth”. You become radiant. You become sunshine. So the first step is to dream a great dream – a big, wild, fabulous dream, worth leaping out of bed for. Yes, that dream. That life. That’s it! Now build that.

The “women are like cats” analogy also fits perfectly here. If you are lonely and try to grab the cat and pet it, you will get hissed at, scratched, bitten and run away from. Whereas if you bask in the radiance of the fabulous moment, the cat will jump up on your lap, purring contentedly.

It’s dreadfully ironic, in a way. It’s as though life gives you an umbrella when the sun is shining and snatches it away when it rains. But that’s just how it is with women. If you are winning at life you will catch their admiration. If you need help digging yourself out of a hole, well you are gonna have to figure that one out for yourself pal. It’s how it goes. Don’t count on her to make your dreams come true. Make them come true and then she will show up.

Yes, it sucks. Sometimes it feels as though you have to almost kill yourself to carve a life for yourself out of blood, sweat and tears. And then all she has to do is to show up looking cute and say “hi”. But that’s how it is for a man. You don’t get any points for how hard you tried or how easily it came to you or didn’t come to you. You just get points for winning. And you won’t get any sympathy either so don’t even try to appeal for any. It’s not her problem and you should NOT attempt to push ANY of that responsibility onto her! You are the man!

The #2 mistake is thinking that you have to be a certain thing (self-objectification) in order to pull. If you create an artificial persona, try to turn yourself into something or someone that is not really you, it puts you deeply “out of state”. You’ll be unhappy on the inside, despite the veneer of success.. and it won’t wash.

If you try to “fake being fun” – and make a show of it in order to catch their attention – you will get found out. You will get busted. She will see through it.

You have to first get absolutely clear on the life you want. Yes, I know. You want a life full of beautiful women. But you have to remember that they are free spirits and they are either attracted to your vibe or they are not. If you are just an emotional black hole that is needing to be filled… they will not be attracted to it! Plain and simple!

Note carefully – create the life you truly want. This does not mean “the life society thinks you ought to want”. It means the life that YOU, deep inside, truly want. The “ultra” version of your life. It’s not superficial. It’s not sitting on the couch eating potato chips. It’s not just having a big pile of money and a career you wish you could get away from. She’s allergic to all that stuff. It’s you living your dream adventure and building that up from dirt with your bare hands.

When you live true to your vision, comfortable in your own skin… confidence, charisma, charm and fun are natural consequences. It all becomes effortless.

Create YOUR dream life. For YOU. Not for her, or for anyone else. And then invite her along for the ride.

Another key to being fun is to get all of your BS handled and out of the way. If you have a million stressful, unhandled things on your mind, it’s hard to free up on the inside and be in your natural flow space. Get your shit done. Read this: How To Handle Logistics: A Five Step Plan To 10x Your Pulling

What To Do If She Ghosted

Oh, how many times this happens to men. I think probably somewhere in the region of 2 billion men need this tutorial…

You find this awesome lady – perhaps on some social media or dating app. She’s fine as, she seems cool and there’s just something about her that you adore. Wow. So you hit her up with your best opener – and to your great excitement – she responds!

You are NOT going to fuck this one up. You are going to pay attention! You keep the app open, eagerly looking out for her messages, which you pounce on and respond hyper-attentively to. She’s going to love how attentive you are… right?

To begin with, she shows all sorts of signs of interest. She’s responding quickly to your messages, laughing at your jokes and everything seems cool, cool, cool.

And then……… it just dries up. Note the deliberate choice of phrase “dries up”…

Sometimes the dehumidification happens gradually. You just sense that she seems less and less excited about the conversation, which you pursue intently, attempting to spike things up again…. before it finally goes dead.

Other times, it happens suddenly… leaving you wondering

What TF Did I Do Wrong???

Sometimes, this can seem extremely baffling to a man. You were polite, you were charming, you were friendly, she was acting like she was interested, flirting, being playful, playing along… why THE FUCK did she just exit – quite nonchalantly, without even GIVING A FUCK? How could she go from giving you her undivided attention to just… zero interest??

“Maybe she’s busy. Maybe she fell asleep. Maybe this, maybe that.”

You are left guessing, wondering… hoping…

But she is just…. gone.

The Simple But Painful Truth

If she ghosted, it’s because she lost interest. Plain and simple. Either someone more exciting came along… or you just didn’t maintain her interest and arousal. Especially arousal. Arousal, generally speaking, is either increasing or decreasing. If you are not increasing it… it’s decreasing. If all you do is make small talk endlessly and sidestep the real reason you are there… it’s decreasing. This is key for men to understand.

Yes, yes. It sucks that we now live in an age where she literally has a million options at her fingertips and her attention span is ruined by all the endless dopamine spikes of attention from a never-ending cascade of admirers.

But once again – there isn’t much you can do about that other than to be more interesting, exciting and engaging than the competition.

Did it even occur to you that by giving her your undivided attention, eagerness and massive availability, you placed her way too high on a pedestal and that this, in and of itself, was likely the thing that killed her interest in you.

You already gave it all up! Result? She’s bored – and in fact she should probably get away from you before you get even more obsessed with her and get all weird

Do NOT Chase Or Act Bitter!

The WORST thing you can do is continue to “text into empty space” after she exited the chat or “left you on read”. This gives off terrible signals – that you are needy, desperate, hooked, and otherwise entirely “in the pocket”. If she’s already got you in the pocket, why is she going to try harder? She knows DAMN WELL that AT ANY TIME she could pick the thread back up and you will be right there – like a doggy at her feet when she clicks her fingers.

She has a hundred guys in this position, maybe a thousand.

And it’s all a complete and utter turn-off for her.

But that doesn’t mean she isn’t interested in men. Oh no. It just means that by being absolutely zero challenge, you communicated low value.

She’s HUNTING for the most high value man she can find! She is looking for the kind of man who already has more attention than he knows what to do with.

You cannot fake this attention. Trying to do so is a spiral of Machiavellian nonsense that will ultimately pave the way for your own ruin.

The Solution?


Yep, goddamit – that awful hard work stuff that is boring, painful and leads to tangible improvements. There’s no way round it, pal. Same for all of us.

There are guys who get hundreds of DMs per day from women, sometimes even thousands. Take a good look at their profiles and ask yourself – is your physique as good as theirs? Is your career as on point as theirs?

Is your GAME as good as theirs?

Probably not.

Just the fact that you gave her your undivided attention right from the get-go, signalled that you don’t have anything (or anyone) better to do right now. That’s not a good look, captain. The man she truly desires is one who visibly has options. But his social proof is not “fake engagement”; it is genuine, palpable interest from other women, which affirms what she already senses about him from his demeanour and time management skills.

He doesn’t have all evening to be sitting on some dating app chatting with some girl he barely knows!

Setting The Bar

Once your initial flirting has gone well and she is showing strong IOI’s – and it’s clear that her attention is hooked, it’s time to set the bar and then eject. This is what a very high value man would do. It’s also known as “breaking rapport” and for maximum effectiveness, it should be done at a high point in the conversation, when her state is spiked. It should certainly not be done at a low point. Breaking rapport at a high point naturally leads to her wanting to get back to that high point, which means she will have some anticipation for your next entrance, or even start chasing you – rather than “Oh, it’s this guy again who kept at me until I was thoroughly bored”…

When the state is high, you tell her what the plan is and then you bounce. This typically means, offering a date. Make it clear what YOU want to do and invite her to participate. Do NOT be nebulous i.e. “so… um.. maybe we should hang out…”

Be a man with a plan and a man on a mission. Ask her if she is free tomorrow night (or whatever night it is that you have free).

DO NOT say “any night is fine”. Can you see why it is absolutely GAME OVER if you say that?? You just communicated that you have nothing in your life of substance and value going on and that you would bend to her like a leaf in the breeze. This will NUKE any attraction she still had for you.

And if you aren’t busy?? Then you have some serious thinking to do because you damn well should be busy! Your commitment to yourself and to becoming a high value man should be greater than your commitment to being available for ANY woman! Let that sink in amigo!

You have too much to do for this crap!

Accept The Messages From The Universe. Yes, They Are Meant For You And Yes They Are Being Spoken Loud And Clear

If she lost interest, the simple truth is that you have no value in her eyes, which means you have work to do and you need to get on with it NOW.

After she ghosts, the first question to ask yourself, interestingly, is “How do I feel?” Be honest.

If you feel absolutely fine – genuinely – and there was no “dip in your state” after she ghosted, then you are on target.

If there is another fine lady blowing up your DMs then sure, go chat with her. If you are feeling on point and fully proud of where you are in life, go find another girl to talk to. It’s all good! Some girl blowing you off will not put a dent in your state. Maybe there are some other DMs you can slide into.

If there is ANY dent in your state after being ghosted, this tells you exactly what you need to do. And the bigger the dent, the more you better listen up and get yourself straight.

Finally: Ghost The Ghost

If she ghosted – the BEST thing you can do is to ghost back and get RIGHT on with your life and your self improvement. Do NOT message again. Do NOT view her profile or do any other thing to “remind her you exist”. That shit is creepy and if you keep at it, you are on your way toward getting blocked.

If you steadfastly avoid chasing, the very fact that you did not chase AT ALL – not even once – does actually leave a favorable impression in her mind. It’s a sign of high value. You might – might – get a message back at some point. Probably when you had completely forgotten about it. Isn’t it funny how that goes? I believe there is a primal part of us that can sense when someone is thinking about us – and the fact that you are no longer thinking about her might become obvious – either through some psychic force I don’t understand, or perhaps simply from the nuances.

Anyway for whatever reason – the fact that you really do have other interests than her indicates that actually, you might have some value. Assuming you didn’t kill it completely and chase her all the way out of your life… she might suddenly remember you or scroll her DMs and notice that you didn’t in fact follow up with some weak chasing message at all… “Oh yeah, that guy. I wonder what happened to him? He might have found someone else. He sure isn’t paying me any attention. Maybe he likes her more than me. That’s not ok. Hmm, I kind of want him a bit now. I’ll just message him.”

It’s so odd and paradoxical to hear them say “I want devotion, I want loyalty, I want a man who cares about me”. But you have to remember, she wants those things from the hot guy who isn’t giving them to her. NOT from a mediocre man who is trying to impress her by pushing aside his own personal goals in order to try to impress her.

Can you now see what a fail that is?

The good news is that 99% of the competition has absolutely zero game, too! And when I say zero, I mean ZERO. You ever seen the inbox of a hot girl? It’s fucking pathetic. Seen on Fetlife:

If you can truly absorb, internalize and embody the lessons presented in this tutorial, you will be in the top 1%. Get cracking.

Temper Your Expectations + Level TF Up

BOTH men AND women want someone who is hot enough that everyone wants them, but will also stay loyal.

Good luck with that!

Think about how absurd it is to be that way. Life owes you nothing. You are not “entitled to a girl”! She has options and she has every right to choose consensual relations with whoever she wants!

Rather than DEMANDING loyalty and desire, how about CREATING IT – by being more awesome than the competition?

Rather than whining “These women are all bitches”, how about being so fucking fantastic that she will EAGERLY treat you like a King because she can see that you are a CATCH – and knows that if she doesn’t… someone else will…?

Yes of course, it’s difficult AF. Social media has seen to it that we all have a million options at our fingertips. And so the SELECTIVITY is off the charts.

The competition is incredibly fierce now and you simply have to be better than them… otherwise you get ghosted.

We’ve gone from a dating landscape in which people had a handful of viable options (20th century village or small town, no car, no mobile phone) to a dating landscape in which you can literally find and send a message to probably a billion people.

This shift happened in ONE GENERATION and is completely unprecedented in known history.

In one sense, it’s fucked. But in another sense… this is all part of nature’s rich pattern.

And you have a choice: Level up or lose.

Life does not care. The universe literally does not give a flying F if you get laid or go without.

The sooner you can embrace this red pill truth and start becoming the most awesome version of yourself that you can possibly be, the better for your dating life. TAKE IT UPON YOURSELF and take responsibility for the results you get. Not by the use of force, persuasion or manipulative tactics on girls. But by becoming so spectacular that they are beating a path to your door.

They aren’t beating a path to your door?

Then you know what you have to do.

If she ghosted, blocked or blew you out?

You know what you have to do.


Learn more: How To Raise Your SMV And Get The Girl

Nobody Cares (But This Dark Truth Can Actually Improve Your Life Massively!)

“You can have anything in this world you want if you give other people enough of what they want.” – Zig Ziglar

This tutorial is probably the most important thing you can learn when it comes to your dating life (and life in general) and can cause the biggest, most dramatic shift in your results.

Nobody cares what you want. They only care about whether you can give them what they want.

This is a universal law and applies to everyone including you. At the end of the day, you are not “a nice guy”. You are an animal (yes, you are a creature, in case you forgot) that has learned to be nice because of the benefits that being nice provides.

Think of a person who you personally consider incredibly attractive. Picture them.

And ask yourself if you would like to be the one meeting their needs, giving them pleasure, and so on. Of course you would. You wouldn’t even think twice about doing whatever it takes to be the one who gets more of them and wins them over.

Now think of a person who you personally consider extremely UNattractive. Would you like to meet their needs so that you can get more of them? Of course not.

Nobody cares. Nobody cares that you are lonely. Nobody cares that it was a year since you got laid. They only care about whether you can give them what they want.

Crisis Or Opportunity?

Now here’s the next important part: While this might at first seem incredibly bleak, depressing and utterly unfair, it can actually give you a MASSIVE advantage in the game.

Because if you can meet that person’s needs better than anyone else, then you get the job. You blow away the competition! Your desired partner is literally all yours.

Once you identify those needs, you know exactly what you have to do.

The biggest part of this that men struggle with a lot, is that looks matter A LOT to women. Just like they do to you! Looks are not the only factor, by far – but genetic disadvantages such as height give you a much bigger hill to climb. Most people don’t want to admit it because it means embracing the cold truth that life is utterly unfair and nature literally doesn’t give a flying fuck if you live like a King or get squashed like a bug.

However, there is a TON you can do to level up your appearance. “Paying the iron price” and cutting the body fat can give you the “Adonis ratio” of shoulder to waist size, which is an instantaneous attraction trigger. It will also enhance your jawline – making it more chiseled when the covering fat is eliminated.

“Being nice” is, honestly, a failing strategy. Being overly nice to a woman, while you might think it’s going to increase your chances (and she will never deny it!) in fact sends the signal that you view her as your best option, which in turn makes her think that she can do better. The guy she is really interested in is the one who has such fabulous options that he regards her somewhat disdainfully. Think about a rock star. That girl you are fawning over is just another girl blowing up his inbox.

It’s another cold truth of the game that the amount of interest you telegraph sends all kinds of signals that are contrary to what you might imagine; and you give the game away in a thousand ways – from your body language to how quickly you respond to her DMs.

And you won’t get any sympathy, either. If you appear heartbroken, it merely indicates that you don’t have an abundance of viable options, which tells her on a primal level that she ought not to kick it with you either! Your sadness over losing her literally pushes her away.

However, do not make the classic mistake of trying to “fake it”. It won’t work. Trust me. You are FAR better off taking a good, long, hard look at yourself, thanking the universe for showing you the hard truth of where you are at, asking yourself if you really are everything that you could be, and making the effort to raise your value as much as humanly possible.

Many will say that being a “6 6 6” guy is the way forward and I don’t disagree. (6 foot tall, 6 pack and 6 figure income). This is a great simple starting point. Do the best you can.

Others (including myself) break down male desirability into four quadrants – “LMSG” (Looks, money, status, game). Sufficient strength in any of these four can get you laid – and a strong hand in all of them will work absolute wonders. All of it is valuable. For status game, read Dan Bilzerian’s book as he has really nailed this one. Money can buy you what you want directly, but remember the old quote about “if it flies, floats or fornicates”. Looks are more important than you realize until you observe the tangible benefits of looksmaxing for yourself, and game of course ties the whole thing together.

If you are height disadvantaged, please remember that it is not the only thing that matters. I know short, not-super-good-looking guys who have scored plentiful big wins with FINE ladies. I have no reason to lie to you about this. But do what you can. Get shoes with lifts.

Her primal response to height doesn’t care about whether you cheated a bit – in just the same way that your primal response to her lipstick doesn’t care that it was painted on. You see those lush, voluptuous lips and you don’t even care if it’s fake – in fact you would say “yes, put your makeup on because it makes me want you more.”

Mind blowing, isn’t it? Our biological impulses are so hardwired that we would rather have fake beauty than no beauty…

Whatever you do, don’t be afraid to stand out. There are all sorts of subconscious thoughts and fears “keeping us in line”. Screw all that. You are 100% free to level up, even if it means leaving some people behind. Accept this as a fundamental consequence of growth. If you grow while someone else stands still, they will not admire your growth so much as be reminded of their own lack of growth.

Start leveling up today. Tons more tutorials on this blog. Try these:

How To Raise Your SMV And Get The Girl

LooksMaxing Tutorial – How To Be The Hot Guy That Women Notice


This is just a general piece of advice for all, not just guys.

I am a block button ninja. If the global blocking hi-score chart was able to be known and seen… I might be up there somewhere in the top 10.

If an interaction with someone online is “going bad”… it usually happens in an escalating way. It gets progressively worse until bam, it ends up ruining your day. The key to avoiding this is to nip it in the bud before it gets that far.

I especially encourage women to instablock. When someone starts out trolling you or coming in with bad vibes, they are generally looking for attention. For whatever reason (that is nothing to do with you), they are not getting the attention that they want or feel that they deserve. It’s not your problem, it’s theirs. If they committed to excellence in their personal life, path and goals, they WOULD naturally be generating some attention, due to the fact that they are immediately worthy of respect and admiration. So in truth, the hate they are carrying is very often a reflection of choices they have made or obstacles they have not figured out how to overcome. It’s good to remember this so that you can remind yourself that whatever crap they threw at you is very likely not about you at all.

Don’t reward their bad vibe with attention! Because that sends a signal that “trains them”. Without realizing it, if you give someone attention when they treat you badly, you signal that this is what they ought to do more of.

And so they do. And so it escalates, resulting in them dumping more of their bad vibes on you until you FINALLY block them and leave the computer in tears.

Just instablock at the first sign of anything being weird, remind yourself that it was not about you at all and get back to positive interactions.

Choose and affirm for yourself that you only want positive interactions and that life is really too short for anything else. (It is!)

I also instablock on dating sites. If someone’s pic is “hurting your eyeballs” or the crap they wrote was a massive turn-off, and there is 0% chance you will be interested, you might as well just block them. It saves you ever having to see their profile again, it saves that awkward moment of dealing with them writing to you after getting your profile view notification… etc. It’s just overall efficient. Get rid. Pre-emptive blocking for the win.

There are tons more people out there. The quicker you can discard the ones you are definitely not interested in, or people who are not being cool, the more time you have available for the ones worth your time. Keep it pushing, stay focused on your dreams and I will catch you soon.

“I’ll Never Leave You, No Matter What”

Guys mistakenly think that women want this kind of loyalty from a man.

She might even say that she wants this.

But if you take this approach, you are setting yourself up for a life of pain. Let’s unpack this.

You do not get any points for loyalty, in and of itself. You get points for being the kind of man she WISHES would be loyal to her.

Imagine the situation the other way around. Imagine someone you are totally unattracted to is saying “I’ll never leave you”. Not only does that make you want to run a mile, but you can clearly see how if they made the effort to self-improve and make themselves desirable, it would have a far better effect.

Do you give a shit about whether they are loyal in and of itself? No.

If you find them grotesque, what does their loyal pursuing you make you do? Block and avoid.

Do you give a shit about whether they are desirable first and then loyal second? Hell yes.

You will only bring about loyalty in her by being someone worth being loyal to. Don’t get this wrong! The fact that you, too, would never stray is not the thing that is going to make her loyal to you! It’s your overall desirability.

Promises of good behaviour are far less effective than simply being someone about whom she is thinking “Please never leave me”.

So if you are not getting the loyalty you want from females, maybe it’s not “because she’s a bitch” but because you are not as awesome as you need to be in order to inspire that loyalty naturally. She just wants the best option she can get – so be that! And make no mistake – women are sexual creatures. You want her to want to fuck you? Good. Become awesomely fuckable.


If you will never leave someone, no matter what, then you effectively stated that you have absolutely no boundaries whatsoever – and that they can do whatever they please.

What does a creature – any creature – do when it is not fenced in? Exactly, it roams wherever the heck it wants.

You have also effectively stated that she is your absolute best option and that you really have no other options as good as her.

Because if you had a dozen genuine options at least as good as her, and could literally pick up the phone and call one of them this afternoon to come over this evening… would you even give a shit? Would you be saying “I’ll never leave you”?

Here’s the thing: The kind of man she wants is the kind of man who has options. He’s the kind of man who she HAS to treat nicely, because if she doesn’t, he could simply replace her with another girl of equivalent desirability – any time.

Does she want the man who no other women are interested in? Or does she want the man who has a ton of other women chasing him? This is the man she wants loyalty from!

Don’t Fake It

You CANNOT fake it. Do not attempt to “use game” in order to make it seem as though you are massively desired by other women, when in fact you are not.

This is a stupid, failed, manipulative strategy that really avoids the core issue: Your actual value.

Why would you need to manipulate ANYONE if you really are everything that she would want you to be?

If you try to fake it, it will get flushed out. Everything from the timing of your messages, through to your other behavioral tells when she does actually give you some attention, will reveal “where you are at”.

She knows just how many options as hot as her you have. Just assume that she DOES. That she has the all-seeing eye.

When you walk down the street with her… you don’t notice, but she does. She clocks all the other females and knows the meaning of all the glances they are giving you… or aren’t giving you.

When she looks at your social media… she know the reactions you are getting from the other ladies.. or aren’t getting. She can see that you followed 1,000 other women and that you are not picking up any followers. She can see whether you are all that you can be or whether you aren’t.

Women are hyper attuned to this stuff. She has to be! A very significant part of her feminine purpose is to find and mate with the best possible option she can. Her instincts will reward her massively with biological pleasure when she does, and will cause her to avoid the lesser option like the plague!

She’s not really in control of who she desires. You aren’t really in control of who you desire also! Attraction isn’t a choice!

We aren’t really the ones in charge of this stuff. This is nature’s game at the end of the day.

While that might seem terrible, it gives you a massive advantage when you really understand it: Because you can see what works and simply have to do that.

Rewarding Bad Behaviour / Chasing

If someone pushes you away or ignores you, the correct position to take is to “reject their rejection of you”. If you chase and give them more attention, you have signaled that you are ok with them treating you this way and in fact, by rewarding them for that, you are effectively training / conditioning them to do more of the same!

This is the behaviour that gets the treat? Then this is the behaviour that I shall do! And if I’ve already got you in the pocket, despite the fact that I am cold ignoring your ass… why should I try any harder?

Chasing can be a very difficult habit for men to break. We are used to “taking shots” in life and if our shot doesn’t hit the target, we try another shot from a different angle.

If your shot doesn’t hit the target and “catch” her interest, it’s better overall to assume that it’s not because your “tactics were wrong” but that the person using the tactics was not all that they could be!

In the past this used to be called “The Brad Pitt Rule”. The essence of it is to ask “Would she have done that to Brad Pitt?” (or whoever is the epitome of desirability at the time).

If you were _________ (mega desirable person), would she have flaked?
You could have delivered the same line and gotten massive eagerness, instead of “meh”.

This is ultra important to understand. Your “tactics” are less important by far than who you are. This is what matters. Being a high value person.

Raising Your Value

The trouble is, we are creatures. Creatures are inherently lazy – in the sense that they will choose the easy way to do things, if there is an option.

A text message is an easy, cheap shot that requires minimal effort. Sending yet another text is far “easier” than going to the gym and paying the iron price.

But it’s a fail. It’s a bad habit. It communicates that you are desperate for a short term fix instead of contented with the fact that you are building your future and knowing that is absolutely good enough.

Think of the most successful male you can. Is he there on his phone all day sending texts in the hope that he will get lucky? No. He’s concerned with the business of what it takes to be awesome – and doing that all day.

So instead of sending that 2nd, 3rd or 17th text into the void of her non-responses… do this.

Assume that if you are not getting the reactions and responses that you want from females, that you simply have work to do.

Because if she is thinking “wow”.. you will not be left on read.

The game has become ultra competitive in the modern time. In olden days, the dating pool you were competing against might have been 10 males. Of whom, 3 were ‘up together’ and of a suitable age group. In such an environment, your odds are pretty good just by existing.

That’s an extreme metaphor but you take the point, there was an era in which men didn’t need to go to extraordinary lengths to pull. Your attention, despite your crooked teeth, would be far better than no attention at all.

Those days are over. The idea that there is this super hot girl in the village, sitting there all by herself, lonely and just waiting for you? It’s not like that any more. Forget it!

If she’s hot, she has literally thousands of options. More than she knows what to do with. She’s getting continual attention. There’s absolutely no way for her to even respond to a fraction of the inbox action she is getting.

You simply have to stand out from the pack. The good news is that when you do… you too will have more options than you know what to do with.

Here are some of the main ways to stand out:

Status – size of your following and the volume of admiration you are picking up.
Presentation (attire, self-care and grooming)
How much genuine fun you are having
Elite level skills – musical instrument, top of the game in your field etc.
Seductive skills – ability to create a vivid fantasy and captivate her imagination
Sexual skills – how much pleasure you give her / whether you reliably get her off

All of these things are achievable – with hard work and correct moves. So now you know what you have to do – and there is no time to waste!

The Best Version Of Yourself

Here’s an exercise. Imagine you could re-create yourself. As you, but as the “ultra” version of you. Imagine that character. Take a good look. Everything about him. What’s he doing? What does he look like? How is he dressed? Is he winning a sports championship? Playing a stadium concert? Selling a successful business for a nine figure exit? What’s he driving? How do people react when his car pulls up and he gets out? When he walks into the room? Yeah, that guy. The guy you want to be. That’s you.

Now, look at him and look at you. And ask yourself exactly what you need to do in order to move yourself from A to B. It’s obvious, isn’t it? Where you want to be is simply behind a wall of self-discipline, hard work, good choices, effective time management and leveling up everything about yourself.

Get to work.

Most people don’t do it because it’s difficult and will require some pain. The lazy creature in us is saying “isn’t there some easy way to do this?” It’s like going to the dentist. Nobody wants to. But we just have to man up and get through it, because that winning smile is on the other side of that pain.

You just have to remember. Everything that you want is behind that wall of self discipline and struggle. There is no other way. Choose the right wall and start climbing that fucker, now.

“Landing The Plane” On Her Runway (Here’s How You Do It)

Well, they call it a landing strip for a reason… 😉

When it comes to “landing the plane”.. there is a “critical angle” that is just perfect – and it’s super important to get this right.

Most guys either come in way too steep (causing her to hit the emergency eject button, what you tryin’ to do captain??)…. or they just fly right over the runway and off into the distance and she just watched you sail overhead like “Here’s the runway motherfucker… I was waving my arms around saying come on in… you missed it, too late now!”

She needs a man who KNOWS how to land the fucking plane!!!

The first thing the pilot does when he’s approaching the runway is he signals his approach *in a way that makes her look forward to it* not “holy fuck incoming, call the fire brigade”.

And you need to LISTEN for the signals coming back from air traffic control! You don’t just announce “I’m coming in” and then head for the runway! No no no, are you frickin crazy?? 🙂

Pay attention to her signals. And when she communicates “Your approach is good fellah” you keep on approaching. Head for the runway! Don’t be flying forever at the same altitude with small talk and crap that leaves her thinking “This fucker doesn’t know how to land the damn plane” and then she’s DONE because, you know, there’s various other sexy looking aircraft in a holding pattern these days!

In general, a robust, “fast” approach is exciting for a girl IF done with skill. She wants a thrilling ride! PAY ATTENTION. You need to be SURE she is giving the right signals. And she WILL let you know what she thinks of your approach angle (not necessarily verbally, but by various cues from body language to attentiveness). But you absolutely have to PAY TF ATTENTION at all times and be AWARE of how you are making her feel! If you are coming in too steep, she will tell you to ease up on that stick (am I going to far with this metaphor? lol) and maybe circle around and try again.

But how can you tell the difference between slow down and stop?

Generally speaking, if she says “stop!” or “I want to go home” or “I should be going” or in ANY other way signaling major discomfort – then that’s pretty much your cue that it’s DONE. It really is. So be cool. It happens to the best of us. Don’t be a dick about it, make sure she gets home safe and accept it with good grace – like a good sportsman.

However if she took your hand off of her ___________ (wherever) but is still laying on the bed smooching you, then it generally means things are all still good, but that she needs you to warm her up more. Whatever you already did, that she gave the most positive reaction to… do more of that. She will let you know (one way or another) when the lights are green and it’s time to land that plane.

What To Do If You Got Dumped. How To Handle A Breakup

This is an important tutorial. Let’s dive straight in.

First Things First: Do Not Chase!

Remember this always: Receiving that sweet feminine energy is not your goal. Becoming the most awesome version of yourself you can possibly be is your goal. Receiving that sweet feminine energy is your reward.

When the sweet feminine energy stops? Do not chase after it! Appreciate what life has shown you about where you are currently at, and get back to work. You have work to do. Work on yourself with pure focus… and when your own energy level reaches a certain point, you will attract that feminine energy again.

Notice how that is always the way it is, in fact? You pulled when you were in a high place inside yourself – which naturally attracted her. Your task is to get back to that place and in fact to go even higher.

You never, ever get anywhere by chasing! Ever! It WILL cause her to blow you out even harder, which will cause even more of an energy crash when you realize how badly you fucked up! Do NOT send her another message. Do NOT go look at her social media again. Do NOT “do stuff to try to be noticed”. Get back to self improvement ASAP!

We have a tendency to get bent out of shape if a beautiful woman leaves us that we have been vibing with for a while. Here’s why: When you have already gotten close to a woman, her sweet feminine energy is “right there” for you to enjoy – and so, without even meaning to, you get lax. You stop being “a hunter” and you reach for the cookie jar – literally as well as figuratively. 😉 And we know what happens when you work less and eat cookies more…. you get weak. Your own energy drops. You become dependent on her energy for your well being; whereas when you were single, you were getting your energy from your life.

This shift from “providing energy to taking energy” causes her attraction to diminish… and we know the result. You can feel the result by the “weather” of her emotions. Sweet summer breezes got replaced by dark clouds and then finally, the storm…

We can easily slip into bad habits without noticing and it is super difficult not to – but you have to keep your standards up, your focus on your life goals and your daily training consistent in order to keep your energy levels high and “have enough to share”.

So when the “tap turns off” of the sweet feminine energy that she was giving you, take it as a sign from the universe that it’s simply time to get to work. THANK the universe for showing you what’s up! Work on yourself. Never chase! Get your energy from your life and from your commitment to yourself.

And certainly don’t fall into any form of “self-punishment” – whether it is punching walls or hitting the booze. The only thing you should hit is the gym!

It’s important to remember that a woman could do anything at any time, for any reason or for no discernible reason at all. She might be all over you today and gone tomorrow.

It will always be like this and there will NEVER come a time when you are so awesome that you can just stop working on yourself, so get over it and keep your focus on YOU. Like a champion fighter – the day you stop training, you start getting weaker and hard muscle starts turning into flab.

Enjoy her femininity when it’s there, laugh and let it go when it isn’t, don’t get addicted to the cookie (nearly impossible lol) and keep the focus on moving up in your own life.

She Is Not The One. YOU Are The One!

REMEMBER THIS: No matter how much you like her and no matter how sweet the cookie tastes, you should never like her more than you like yourself. You should NEVER put her on the pedestal in your own mind. In your own life, YOU are the one. Truly!

One of the reasons the old school players were “successful” in “hooking women” as opposed to being hooked by them, is that they put themselves first always. No matter how hot the ho was, the player remains the most important thing in his own universe. Egocentric and conceited? Perhaps. But did it work? Undeniably.

It’s a perfect example of how someone “will treat you the way you treat yourself”.

Through his actions, his walk, his talk, his dress, the player communicates on all levels simultaneously his congruent high self-esteem and his high standards. She has but one choice: Get with the program or get lost. He literally doesn’t care if she walks away because the only place she can get his awesomeness is from him – and besides, he knows that if he has consistently made himself a priority and worked on himself like crazy… like buses, another one will be along in five minutes.

I’m not saying be a player. But certainly put your own needs first and ruthlessly cull everything from your life that is not serving those needs. That self respect in and of itself will improve your dating life massively.

And the number one way to communicate that value? Your Attention.

Attention, Please

The hot woman has the low-value man‘s attention in the bag. She could call him in the middle of anything that he is doing and he will drop whatever he was doing (perhaps even literally) and immediately be “at her feet”… like a doggie when the treats come out.

Just getting her attention is an irresistible high for him. It has a greater hold over him than his own future!

As a result, the low value man, having communicated zero self respect… has nothing that she aspires to. No further energy for her to absorb – except perhaps when she got dumped and needs a shot of self-esteem from his adoration. She has no attraction to him; but she might use him – possibly even to the limit that he allows himself to be used. Sadly this becomes habitual and very hot women nowadays have all sorts of men buying things for her, paying her bills and giving her money just for a little of that… attention… and the merest hint at the possibility that he might get a treat if he’s a good boy.

A high value man, on the other hand, is extremely busy being a high value man – because that’s what it takes to be the best version of yourself: A firm and ruthless commitment to you. Have you ever seen a part time super-successful person? Me neither. The high value man literally doesn’t have time for any of this bullshit and is comfortable enough in his own skin and how much he already likes his awesome life anyway not to need her attention at all; although he may of course desire it and enjoy it. But when it goes, he truly doesn’t give a shit. Like James Bond when Moneypenny attempts a takeaway… he gets right back on with being awesome and continuing to develop his awesomeness, without so much as a blink or a dip in his state.

When the hot woman calls, she better call him at the right time and treat him nice… otherwise he simply has better things to do than deal with whatever BS she wants to talk about. Her cat, her mean landlord… whatever. If she wants to use him to get some errand done, thinking that her looks are enough to make him just do it, well, that’s going to get treated with the contempt it deserves. Anyway, I thought she was a strong independent woman, didn’t you?

It’s not that he is being manipulative. He just knows what’s up and has his self-esteem truly handled, as opposed to superficially handled. His standards are high and rock solid and his powerfully honed time management skill ruthlessly eliminates low value activities from his life!

And believe you me, hot women are hunting for the hottest, most high value male they can find!

But she has to be bringing her best self plus some value to the table and not being a jackass, otherwise he is simply gone, no matter how hot she looks.

He indicates what he will tolerate, which does not include her “princess bullshit” – and that’s that.

“The Work” Never Stops For A Man. Ever.

Note that you cannot become this overnight. It takes months if not years of diligent training, productivity and focus to become the best version of ourselves we can be. To begin with, you will get pulled off course by all sorts of women. Until you wise up and “master yourself”. Progress is gradual, with numerous ebbs, flows, setbacks and adventures along the way.

This is why you never chase. And this is how you handle a breakup: You get right back to your training, your self improvement and your work on yourself. The work never stops, whether you are in the mood or not. Never. Get used to it, get down to it NOW and start leveling up. It’s time to change gear and floor it with your self improvement. Life is short and every second counts.

Here’s how you will know when you are truly on target and have this life-lesson on lock: When she blows you out, you immediately think “Cool! I have all these awesome things to be getting on with and now I can! Life is wonderful!”

You might even find that when, after you disappeared off the map and forgot all about it, and she starts chasing your rock-solid energy again, you can’t even be bothered to deal with her. Good sign. 🙂 Deal with her if you want to, but don’t feel obliged to and be sure it’s only on terms that are congruent with your high quality life.

More in-depth insight on this topic: Got Dumped? How To Get Her Back

3 Reasons Why You Might Be Better Off Choosing An 8 Than A 10

Reason #1: The 10 Is Playing To The Gallery

I’ve had girlfriends who were “10s”, including models getting paid thousands per day – and being perfectly honest… one of those experiences in particular sucked big time.

It was awful.

She was literally the best looking girl in my local area. We were together I am guessing about 4 months.

If I had not been “pussy struck” it would have been far less than that. She treated me like garbage and I, being young and having no options that came anywhere near to her level of hotness… put up with it.

She was an absolute attention seeker of the most insecure and needy kind imaginable. And she got so much attention that no matter how disrespectfully she acted… guys continued to worship her.

That’s not a recipe for character development, captain. She was an “accident of nature” and progressively becoming more and more messed up on the inside as a result.

She was strikingly good looking. The kind of girl where EVERY other guy is trying to hit on her, often right in your face – and trying to start shit with you just for existing!

If we were in the bar, I would go for a pee and they would make their move. Every single fucking time. And she would lead them on.

If they said “Can I buy you a drink?” she would say yes, knowing full well where it was going, and then say “This is my boyfriend” a few minutes later.

Gee, thanks. This guy is now eyeballing me like “Can I take him?”

The problem with these girls is, they are a 10 “for the audience” – and not for any guy in particular.

They are attention seekers… and no amount of attention is ever enough.

Reason #2: If She’s A 10 In Your Eyes, You’re Already Hooked; And So She Won’t Bother Trying To Treat You Well

All women have the ability to “turn up or down the voltage” of their looks – often to such an extraordinary degree that you almost wouldn’t recognize them as the same woman!

Bearing this in mind – it’s far better to have a girl who is a 7-8 for the general public and saves the 10 for you, privately, alone, when you are in the bedroom.

Wouldn’t you prefer that? Hell yes you would!

Finding a girl who is an 8, is in my view “the sweet spot”. 9 absolute max but that might be a bit too high for most guys.

If she is a 7 or less in your eyes, you are likely to stray. It probably won’t last. Aim higher.

Whereas if she is 9+, you are probably too smitten to keep her interest. Unless you blow all of the competition out of the water in her eyes.

8 is “just right”. The perfect blend of desirable and attainable.

Another beautiful thing about a girl who is “only an 8” in your eyes is that while she’s “definitely hot enough” for you to want her, she’s not so hot that she’s complacent about your attention.

It’s far better that you see her as an 8 and she sees you as 9+. That’s the win right there.

Overall; rather than chasing girls who are “out of your league”, go for the hottest girl you can get who looks at you adoringly… and raise your game until one of those is also “hot enough for you”.

Reason #3: Your 8 Will WANT To Become A 10 In Your Eyes

The other magical thing about “your 8” is that she will start transforming into a 10 before your very eyes the longer you are with her!

For this reason, you are far better off with an 8 that is gazing at you like you are made of stardust than you are with a 10 who is “meh” and has a dozen other options of your calibre. That girl will make zero effort to please you.

Find an 8 and be her 10: When a girl is super into you, she’s keen to do whatever will attract you more to her.

She notices which of her clothes you like best. Which looks of hers meet your highest approval. She starts doing those things more. If you say “I love it when you dress in black”… boom… she starts dressing in black more.

You like BJs? She’ll be much more eager to do it to you!

If you were to say to her “If you shave that pussy it will make me want it even more”? Boom. She will do it that day (yes this has happened to me! 🙂 )

And so on. But only if she is super into you. If she is super into you, she will instinctively start conforming more and more to being your ideal woman. She will adopt your style, your habits, your views – and do what turns you on.

Screw these 10s who are playing to the gallery. Find an 8 who is super into you and has “good bones” – and invest in that. Or perhaps even a lower number if you see she has “potential” (she will be more eager to transform, too!)

She’ll become your 10. This has happened to me numerous times and I can confirm it absolutely!

Just watch out – because once she becomes a 10 in your eyes, and you start staring at her all starry-eyed… things might shift and her interest in you might diminish.

Interestingly also – taking in all of the above, you may now become the only guy who is disdainful of the 10, while all the other guys are worshipping her. At which point… the 10 might start chasing you – at which point you can start “training her”…

Stay firm and correct! 🙂 Still want 10’s? That’s fine – you just have to be an 11! 😉 Read this: 10s Are Out There – Right Now – Just WAITING For You To Come Along And Snap Them Up!