There Are Millions Of Them

“Have you ever been – have you ever been – to Electric Ladyland?
The magic carpet waits, for you.
So don’t you be late
Oh, (I wanna show you), the different emotions
(I wanna run to) the sounds and motions
Electric woman waits for you and me
So it’s time we take a ride,
we can cast all of your hang-ups over
the seaside.
While we fly right over the love filled sea
Look up ahead, I see the loveland, soon you’ll understand.” — Jimi Hendrix.

There Are Millions Of Them.

Hotties. Gorgeous, beautiful women.

Lithe and sensual and horny and bored and WAITING
For someone AWESOME to come along and sweep them up
to his castle in the clouds.
And they love sex! They are longing for orgasmic ecstasy!

Welcome to planet Earth! 🙂

We live in Electric Ladyland, my friends. Truly.
Hear that clock ticking?
That’s the sound of beautiful women turning 18.
Every single second. It never stops.
According to the UN, an estimated 385,000 people are born every day worldwide.
Not all of them, sadly, will make it to 18.
Approx 50% of them are female, so we are very approximately talking about perhaps 150,000 women turning 18 every single day.
That’s 6,250 per hour.
1.74 per second.

And you are having trouble getting laid. 😉
I know. It’s tough. But the simple truth is this:
Despite being born as a champion swimmer….

You need to be more awesome.

Girls are looking for the most awesome partner they can find.
I’m generalizing, but it’s close enough to the truth to be applicable by default.
If you are super awesome, and place yourself somewhere that there is an abundance of ladies…
You will do well.

Oh, I need to go and lift weights and be chiseled.
Yes it helps, but it’s not everything.
There are plenty of buff dudes getting absolutely nowhere.

Oh, I am not six foot two and not earning six figures.
Bullshit.
Charlie Chaplin was 5’1 and sired children in his seventies!
And I have friends who pulled like machines despite being short and broke.

Because they had fantastic charisma and radiated FUN.

I know another guy who has an endless string of 18-25 BABE girlfriends despite being in his 40’s and overweight.
I met him because his INCREDIBLY HOT exotic dancer GF was a friend of my GF.
When I first saw him I was cordial but secretly thought “Really, this guy?”
And then after kicking it with him for a very short while… I got it. This guy is actually cool as fuck. Like really cool. He knows how to live well and has tons of charisma. He’s super fun to be around and the ladies adore him.

He knows how to create his own happiness and has a core of positive energy that is fully independent of what some girl does or doesn’t do.

They find this incredibly intriguing and they WANT SOME of it. They can’t help it.

You could say that he radiates value rather than trying to take value from them. KEY point.

So don’t try to be an imitation. Can you see how that is an attempt to take value?
They say “be yourself” and while this in one sense is the most useless advice in the universe, there is a grain of truth in it:

You have to find the place within yourself where you love your life.

I don’t just mean an endless string of dopamine spikes from video games or social media. Definitely not that. It’s a drug.

I mean actual core authenticity and personal power. It takes work to be the best, realest and truest version of yourself in a world that wants to turn you into another cardboard cutout clone. We were meant to strive. It’s what makes us strong. Getting everything on a plate… you think you want it but it makes you weak, soft and useless. Disposable.

Yes, do everything you can to improve your health, physique, wealth and social status.
But none of these things should be used as a crutch.

Guys who use money as a crutch to prop up a weak personality
Get exploited by women, and it’s as see-through as anything… and they find it a massive turn off.

The main key is to find the life that fulfils you. Your true self, if you like.
When you are in touch with that, it stops mattering so much what any one woman does.
None of it fazes you. She comes, she goes. So what?
You are not clinging to her, leech-like, for your happiness.

But have some happiness of your own, to radiate.
Like the sun.
This is what makes her attracted to you. What makes you magnetic.

It’s such a conundrum. You can’t fake magnetism. Don’t even try.
And right when you stop worrying about it and get into your groove.
You become magnetic.

99% Of Dudes Have Zero Game

The “Good News” (for you) is that 99% of dudes have ZERO game. And I really mean zero.

Illustration (random comment on a random hot chick’s nudie pic):

There is just so much wrong with this dude’s approach that I hardly know where to begin.

First the opener. Puke! He immediately put himself in the position of being her bitch. I mean, this is (supposedly) a grown man in his 40s, who markets himself as a bull, or something. And a dominant. He just said he would do anything for her. “You tell me what you want and I will do it.” Does that really sound dominant to you??

Now she responds; because she knows that if she gives him the come-on, then, just like it ALWAYS goes, he is going to reply INSTANTLY, so grateful for being given a little crumb from her table. Which is to her advantage – her pic will appear again at the top of his homepage feed, which means more visibility for her. She’s just working her angle. She already doesn’t give a fuck about this dude because he’s already played all his cards. It’s all downhill from here for him.

As if his desperate opener wasn’t bad enough, he makes it even WORSE with “I can sure as hell try”. So now he is completely lacking in confidence in his actual ability to meet her needs, but he will really really try. Because he’s, you know, so abundantly swimming in pussy that he really needs to do anything in the world to get a sweet taste of this girl.

And look at the result. As if he hadn’t already buried himself. She didn’t respond… certainly, this was because she was practically in a multiple-orgasm-induced coma after reading that response. NOT.

And then, after not getting anything back (what did you expect?) he tries one more desperate outreach. Correcting his previous failed attempt, which makes it look even more pathetic and incongruous, and trying to sell himself to her even further.

Fucking ultra cringe.

I’ll betcha ten bucks he’s blowing up her DMs too… actually I’ll put a thou on that.

There’s a deeper layer here that is quite interesting. Think about all the times you got value from someone just by observing them or being in their presence. They weren’t trying to give you anything. But you got something anyway – because of who the person was, not because of what they were trying to do. They weren’t even trying to impress you and you were impressed. Note how in this case, this dude is so fixated on offering her anything, that he is in fact not giving her the one thing she really wants, which is for him to be connected with his own life in such a way that his cup already runneth over without her, which will allow her to gain value from his presence. “To them that hath shall it be given”! 😉

Someone probably told him that chiseled pecs were all that he needed and that this would be enough to seal the deal. Nope…

The worst part is that this is NORMAL. There are TONS of these. She gets HUNDREDS of them on each pic. She responds, leading them on in order to soak up even more attention – and then they double respond their pathetic, needy ass-kissing back.

Same shit every time! What’s extraordinary about it is how predictable it all is, once you see the patterns.

I mean seriously, men. What the fuck happened???

How about setting the frame that you have standards of behavior that a person needs to reach in order to be part of your world?

Nope. He’ll do anything. He’ll let her shit on his carpet if he gets to watch her pull her pants down.

If you live your life in such a way that you need external validation in order to feel good, you are setting yourself up for a life of unhappiness, truly. It’s actually a leftover from childhood called toxic shame and it’s essentially the feeling that we are not good enough as we are – and therefore need to try to work for approval rather than focusing on what actually brings us direct fulfilment.

You essentially have to validate yourself, then you can free yourself from the self-imposed tyranny of giving a shit what she thinks of you. And when you stop giving a shit, you start thinking of fun, sexy, charismatic things to say. But you can’t fake it! Those fun things arise spontaneously when you are in the right space inside yourself.

As Napoleon famously said “Never interrupt your enemy while he’s making a mistake.”

So, while part of me would like to help these dudes, fuck ’em. Let them continue being lame because all the more for us. If they can’t be bothered to respect themselves enough to learn the social arts, it’s not my problem.

Commit to self improvement on all levels. Respect yourself enough to admit that there are some skills you simply do not have yet (that’s all it is, social skills!) and that it’s time to go to school and start learning.

If you get you some game, you have a massive advantage over the competition.

I mean, massive. She can spot game a mile off and she LOVES it.

When a man has real game, she’s eating out of your hand. Finally, here is a man who can make her FEEL something exciting. Who turns her on.

She can also see weak shit a mile off. Don’t think for one moment you can fake. Going back and looking at her profile 8 times after you wrote her. Liking more of her pics in the hope she will come back. Don’t do that. Be on your way. You have other things to do. Who the fuck cares if she hits you back or not. You literally shouldn’t care. Because for your game to be on point, the most important factor is that your life should already be awesome without her in it. When you give it to yourself metaphorically speaking, and choose the awesome life you truly want, then you will radiate and smile and won’t feel as though you need to try to get something from her… which is attractive.

It’s a beautiful paradox. When you need her you can’t have her. Soon as you don’t give a shit, truly, she will appear.

And everything you do, no matter how you try to dress it up, will reflect your true inner state. It’s unavoidable.

It all comes from within. Now you know what the playas meant when they said “The sauce is in you, not on you.”

Note carefully that being carefree is completely different to resignation. When you say “fuck it, I just don’t care any more” – that’s resignation and that is extremely unattractive. An attractive man really does care – about his quality of life! He cares so much about it, in fact, that he puts his happiness first at all times and chooses a life that he truly loves.

And she’s welcome to jump in so long as she acts cool.

You have to pay your dues and respect the game. It’s like learning a language.
You can’t learn it in one evening out of a book. You go visit the country and start by fumbling through a simple sentence until you gradually get fluent.

Go look on Instagram, or Fetlife or other places where girls post sexy pics and get tons of comments, and scroll the comments. When you are starting to see thirsty cringe everywhere, to the point where you can hardly bear to look at it… then you are on course.

If you find yourself looking at messages you wrote yesterday and seeing fuckups everywhere – that’s good. It means you are getting it.

If you find yourself just not caring and forgetting to write back to some girl, and some time later (days / weeks / months) she pops up out of the blue – excellent. Now you are getting there.

Don’t be afraid to look at your old threads and soak up all the ways you screwed up. Own it. It’s ok. None of us was born with this on lock. We all have to pay our dues to the game.

Abundance Mindset: A Game Essential. How To Achieve It

A man who genuinely has a ton of great options doesn’t get bent out of shape over one girl. In fact, he barely even has time for her. She has to work to get him, rather than the other way round!

Imagine if you had 20 (or even 200) girls as hot as her, eagerly blowing up your phone. Would you care less if she ghosted?

If you get to the point where, when she blows you out, you find yourself thinking “Good. One less chick to have to deal with.” then you know you are on target. 😉

If you get hung up on a girl, generally speaking it is because you perceive her as your best or only option and you are now trying to make her like you more. This is guaranteed to be the kiss of death for her attraction to you.

Rosebudd had this one on lock when he wrote “… never make [decisions] according to how many hos you have. Be committed to Game.”

Your game should not change depending on how many girls you have. Girls come and go, it’s just how it is. And if you try to “keep one” – you shifted your focus from improving your life onto being a pleaser and a chaser, which essentially seals your doom – because it immediately shows you don’t have better things (or better girls) to do, which communicates low status to her. Your over-attentiveness does not make her feel lucky to have you, it makes her feel like she might be unlucky! And that she should probably set her sights higher.

Want her? Yes that’s fine and good. Need her? No way!!

The correct position, at all times, is to be focused on improving your life. If you improve your life, it follows by extension that you will improve your options. If you make women your goal in life – specifically, trying to impress women – you will no longer be focused on improving your life in genuine ways, which not only causes your life to get worse, but sends all the wrong signals.

It’s very hard to break the chasing habit, especially if it is deeply ingrained. Chasing is essentially a flawed way to try to impress women, with the goal of getting your needs met by them in return. However, it doesn’t work. It shows that you have already failed to get your needs met and are operating from a place of scarcity aka. thirst. The thirst is absolutely repellent to women and the thirstier you are, the more they are repelled.

Abundance mindset cannot be faked. It cannot just be adopted like a new shirt that you buy and put on. It needs to be backed up by a life that is dedicated to increasing your options and creating your own happiness.

It’s actually pretty awesome. You can focus on all the other stuff you really wanted to do, stop wasting time on her and she will love you more for it, not less. How cool is that! 🙂

It’s good to see women not as the goal of your life, but as the “cherry on top” (almost literally) of a life lived well.

Simple list of ways to increase your options:

Improved health and vitality.
Improved presentation
Commitment to self care and choosing only positive scenarios.
Improved financial circumstances
Improved logistics

Some ways to increase your own happiness:

Stop living in a way that is designed to please others and live in a way that genuinely pleases you.
Wear the clothes YOU want to wear.
Create the art that YOU want to create.
Pursue the interests that YOU want to pursue.
Stop caring what others think.
Do the things you have always wanted to do.
Stop second-guessing yourself and start trusting your instincts.

If you only have one girl and you are starting to fixate on her and think she is “special” then you simply have work to do. Start putting yourself first. Stop putting pleasing or impressing her first!

And if you start thinking “But she’s the one. No other girl compares to her!” then you really are hooked and have become dependent on her validation for your emotional well-being. That’s not going to go well.

Take it back and focus on your self care and your self improvement. You do not need her for your well being. Start doing things for YOU and living the life you want to live.

When you are living a great life, women will appear. If they aren’t appearing? You aren’t putting yourself first enough! It seems paradoxical at first that women would prefer a guy who doesn’t pay them special attention, but it makes sense. A man who is directly focused on his own happiness, rather than “giving to get”, which is a form of manipulative behavior, is far more trustworthy and likable than someone who is always trying to do things “for effect” and to try to impress people.

Who gives a fuck if people are impressed? Far better to be true to your own taste.

Lessons From A Natural

Back in the day, I knew a guy who was incredibly successful with women without appearing to do anything at all to try to catch them. You could say he was a “true natural”. He was decent looking. But the main thing was that he was absolutely fine without women. He would just do his thing, having an awesome time in his own world, not even giving a shit whether they existed or not, and the fine ladies would be all around him like bees around honey.

It was extraordinary to watch. To begin with, I just couldn’t fathom it. How does this guy, who seems in one sense to be a completely self absorbed “man child”, get so much tail?

The simple answer is that he knew how to meet his own needs and make himself happy – and he treated himself extremely well. He was completely connected inside and was truly the source of his own happiness. He loved himself. Not in an overly narcissistic way. But he knew how to prioritize his needs and simply choose situations that he personally absolutely enjoyed. It was very instinctive and authentic. I don’t think he had psychoanalyzed any of it. He simply absorbed what he wanted from any given situation, enjoying the fuck out of his life without any hesitation. And women loved him for it. You could go so far as to say that “Enjoy life” was his motto. It was that simple.

He was a DJ. But interestingly, unlike many other DJs, he was not “playing to the gallery”. He would play the tracks he personally enjoyed and was simply massively into what he was doing and having a great time. Girls would crowd around him in the DJ booth, trying to get his attention and he just didn’t need them at all because he was already loving his life. This just amplified the effect still further.

Women would compete for his attention like crazy. But he had zero tolerance for girls throwing neediness at him. He would tell them to get lost without a second thought if they gave him any crap. Sometimes, women would whine about him. It was obvious that they had already banged him and were now butthurt that there was nothing they could do to hook him.

He was really a masterclass. He wasn’t putting on an act. He wasn’t trying to be all detached in some Machiavellian way to get their attention. He genuinely didn’t give a shit if they paid him any attention or not – because he had already validated himself. Their approval simply was not necessary and nothing he did was in an attempt to gain it. As a result… his results were fantastic.

For her to be excited about you, you need to be excited about you!

Which Way Is The Energy Flowing?

It’s good to look at this in terms of whether you are giving energy or taking energy. If you are already happy, and truly don’t need anything from her for your happiness, then you will be attractive to her. You are radiating energy and value and it is enjoyable to be around you.

If on the other hand you are unhappy, and looking to her to fix this for you by giving you attention, sex, validation and so on, then it should be fairly obvious that this will repel her. Regardless of how you try to dress it up, she will feel your neediness in her gut. It’s unattractive, plain and simple.

The solution to this is to start putting yourself first. You will need good boundaries and to cut ties with scenarios that do not serve you. You will need to return your focus to improving your life and making it awesome for you. Not according to society’s or a critical parent’s definitions of the kind of life you ought to have and not for applause. But according to what you personally find fulfilling.

Own It

She dumped you / ghosted you / is ignoring you / is treating you poorly / etc?

Maybe it’s not “because she’s a bitch”.

Maybe it’s because you screwed it all up.

The flower opens its petals when the sun’s rays fall upon it.

Maybe it’s just like that with her. It’s a very good way to look at it. Women are “elemental creatures”. Girls just wanna have fun. When the sun shines, she wants to bask in its rays.

Or as a beautiful female friend of mine once said, in reference to dating – “I want to go swimming where the water is warm, not where there are shards of ice floating around.”

She ditched you and it hurts?

What hurts?

The fact that you are not all that you should be, and she just revealed that to you.

Own it. Face it. Don’t push it off onto her and carry on being the idiot you were being.

Quit the denial. Take it on board. Yes it’s tough. Growth is painful.

Your game wasn’t smooth. Your look is not magnetic. Your affairs aren’t in order. You put pressure on her. You projected your unhappiness with your life onto her and expected her to solve that for you.

Does the sun start shouting at a flower from behind the clouds “Open your petals, bitch! How dare you treat me this way!”?

Can you imagine anything more utterly ridiculous than if it were to do that??

No. It simply has its shit together. It shines. Flower opens.

So now imagine that it’s always like this, with women.

If she flaked, ghosted, ignored you, treated you coldly etc. Why do you think that was?

Own it. Accept the “divine truth” that the universe has shown you. And it’s true meaning:

You have work to do. Real work. Work on self transformation. NOT self pity. NOT self abuse. Work. Difficult stuff that needs to be done that will make your life better. Get cracking.

It’s actually a beautiful thing that the universe has given you this “divine feminine mirror” to show you a perfect reflection of yourself. When you are able to look in that mirror, and understand that the way she is treating you is entirely a reflection of the way you are living, and to accept that insight with gratitude; then you are on course.

This intel, in the end, is what will give you real confidence. Think about the mirror in your hallway or bathroom. You have absolute faith that when you stand in front of it, your reflection will be there.

The mirror gives you perfect clarity. Do you shout at the mirror “You motherfucker! Make me feel good!” No, you accept what the mirror is telling you and you take action accordingly.

It’s the same with women. Your life is your responsibility and the way the women in your life react to you is ultimately on you.

And when you really have it going on, you will have abundant options – so get that handled first and stop looking to her as though she’s your only hope. You are your only hope!

Conveying Value

Just to round out this quick tutorial – there are bound to be circumstances in which you find yourself thinking “I have all this value and she just doesn’t see it“.

There are a few things to unpack here.

1) Nobody cares and why should they. Just because you think something is valuable, why should she? Isn’t she allowed to decide for herself what is valuable? Why not learn about her and appreciate her, without judgement. She likes what she likes and if you don’t like that, you don’t like her, so let her go.

2) Are you really as great as you think you are?

3) Are you arranging circumstances in such a way that your value is actually demonstrated? Imagine a musician – a fantastic guitarist – who sits at home alone, playing better than anyone else in the world. But never actually gives a concert. And then gets upset when he has no fans. Having value is one thing, communicating and giving that value is another. Are you truly sharing your gifts? Or, to put it more bluntly as Rosebudd did – “She don’t know shit about your style until you bring it to her ass.”

4) Maybe she just has other crap going on in her life aside from you. Cut her some slack. And instead of fretting, you can spend your time becoming even more awesome. It’s really ok to be even more fantastic, you know. 😉

5) Not everyone in this world is going to get you. Even the best guitarist in the world isn’t loved by everyone. But if you are truly on point, you will have an abundance of options. If you see her as your only or your best option, what does that say? That there are no other girls of her calibre in existence? That’s ridiculous. The reality is that they are out there – but you can’t get them and so you cling to her like a piece of driftwood. Which is in fact an appropriate metaphor because it indicates that you are drifting, rather than being the captain of your ship, sailing the high seas and heading for the paradise island.

6) Finally – is she being negatively influenced? There are two aspects to this a) personal interference b) society influence.
Be sure that there is no-one running interference in your life. Read Removing Manipulative People, Cockblocks, Cunts And Swindlers From Your Life.
Society has its own imperative to train the thinking of people and well, you just have to be such a strong force for good that you override it. So when it comes to interference, yes, be sure that it is not happening, but for the most part, focus on your own self improvement and have faith that in the end, positive qualities will win out.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Are you fun?

It’s a pretty good question to ask yourself.

The key to being fun is to be happy, deep down, with the life you have created for yourself.

Imagine that your “surface layer” – the curated version of yourself you present to the world – is transparent; and that you cannot hide your deep emotional state from her. Imagine that she has the all-seeing eye… and that she can look into your soul… and see whether you are truly happy with your life… and that her choice of whether to get with you was based on that…

Would she get with you?

Are you excited about your life? Are you living an adventure? Do you have bright, fantastic dreams and are you taking the actual steps toward them? YOUR dreams. Not someone else’s, yours. Are you “living your Dharma”?

Fun is simply a natural consequence of a life lived that way.

This is a pretty tough one to take on board but it highlights absolutely what is probably the #1 dating mistake that guys make…

They look to women as a way to solve their fundamental unhappiness.

Trust me, if you do this, you will experience nothing but rejection and bitterness.

If you approach things this way, the energy is all wrong. It’s as though you are an empty cup and you are expecting her to fill it.

It’s needy. It’s demanding. It’s pressuring. It’s uncomfortable. It’s not fun. There are all these requirements and things you are expecting of her.

You are trying to take value, rather than giving value.

Oop. You just got blocked / ghosted.

The key to this is to create the life you truly want first, and then date. Note – you don’t have to be “at the finish line”. But you do have to be on the right track and moving on up. When you are on point with this and you wake up thinking “I LOVE my life”, you cease to be an “energy vacuum” or an empty vessel or whatever you want to call it. You become a “cup that overfloweth”. You become radiant. You become sunshine. So the first step is to dream a great dream – a big, wild, fabulous dream, worth leaping out of bed for. Yes, that dream. That life. That’s it! Now build that.

The “women are like cats” analogy also fits perfectly here. If you are lonely and try to grab the cat and pet it, you will get hissed at, scratched, bitten and run away from. Whereas if you bask in the radiance of the fabulous moment, the cat will jump up on your lap, purring contentedly.

It’s dreadfully ironic, in a way. It’s as though life gives you an umbrella when the sun is shining and snatches it away when it rains. But that’s just how it is with women. If you are winning at life you will catch their admiration. If you need help digging yourself out of a hole, well you are gonna have to figure that one out for yourself pal. It’s how it goes. Don’t count on her to make your dreams come true. Make them come true and then she will show up.

Yes, it sucks. Sometimes it feels as though you have to almost kill yourself to carve a life for yourself out of blood, sweat and tears. And then all she has to do is to show up looking cute and say “hi”. But that’s how it is for a man. You don’t get any points for how hard you tried or how easily it came to you or didn’t come to you. You just get points for winning. And you won’t get any sympathy either so don’t even try to appeal for any. It’s not her problem and you should NOT attempt to push ANY of that responsibility onto her! You are the man!

The #2 mistake is thinking that you have to be a certain thing (self-objectification) in order to pull. If you create an artificial persona, try to turn yourself into something or someone that is not really you, it puts you deeply “out of state”. You’ll be unhappy on the inside, despite the veneer of success.. and it won’t wash.

If you try to “fake being fun” – and make a show of it in order to catch their attention – you will get found out. You will get busted. She will see through it.

You have to first get absolutely clear on the life you want. Yes, I know. You want a life full of beautiful women. But you have to remember that they are free spirits and they are either attracted to your vibe or they are not. If you are just an emotional black hole that is needing to be filled… they will not be attracted to it! Plain and simple!

Note carefully – create the life you truly want. This does not mean “the life society thinks you ought to want”. It means the life that YOU, deep inside, truly want. The “ultra” version of your life. It’s not superficial. It’s not sitting on the couch eating potato chips. It’s not just having a big pile of money and a career you wish you could get away from. She’s allergic to all that stuff. It’s you living your dream adventure and building that up from dirt with your bare hands.

When you live true to your vision, comfortable in your own skin… confidence, charisma, charm and fun are natural consequences. It all becomes effortless.

Create YOUR dream life. For YOU. Not for her, or for anyone else. And then invite her along for the ride.

Another key to being fun is to get all of your BS handled and out of the way. If you have a million stressful, unhandled things on your mind, it’s hard to free up on the inside and be in your natural flow space. Get your shit done. Read this: How To Handle Logistics: A Five Step Plan To 10x Your Pulling

What To Do If She Ghosted

Oh, how many times this happens to men. I think probably somewhere in the region of 2 billion men need this tutorial…

You find this awesome lady – perhaps on some social media or dating app. She’s fine as, she seems cool and there’s just something about her that you adore. Wow. So you hit her up with your best opener – and to your great excitement – she responds!

You are NOT going to fuck this one up. You are going to pay attention! You keep the app open, eagerly looking out for her messages, which you pounce on and respond hyper-attentively to. She’s going to love how attentive you are… right?

To begin with, she shows all sorts of signs of interest. She’s responding quickly to your messages, laughing at your jokes and everything seems cool, cool, cool.

And then……… it just dries up. Note the deliberate choice of phrase “dries up”…

Sometimes the dehumidification happens gradually. You just sense that she seems less and less excited about the conversation, which you pursue intently, attempting to spike things up again…. before it finally goes dead.

Other times, it happens suddenly… leaving you wondering

What TF Did I Do Wrong???

Sometimes, this can seem extremely baffling to a man. You were polite, you were charming, you were friendly, she was acting like she was interested, flirting, being playful, playing along… why THE FUCK did she just exit – quite nonchalantly, without even GIVING A FUCK? How could she go from giving you her undivided attention to just… zero interest??

“Maybe she’s busy. Maybe she fell asleep. Maybe this, maybe that.”

You are left guessing, wondering… hoping…

But she is just…. gone.

The Simple But Painful Truth

If she ghosted, it’s because she lost interest. Plain and simple. Either someone more exciting came along… or you just didn’t maintain her interest and arousal. Especially arousal. Arousal, generally speaking, is either increasing or decreasing. If you are not increasing it… it’s decreasing. If all you do is make small talk endlessly and sidestep the real reason you are there… it’s decreasing. This is key for men to understand.

Yes, yes. It sucks that we now live in an age where she literally has a million options at her fingertips and her attention span is ruined by all the endless dopamine spikes of attention from a never-ending cascade of admirers.

But once again – there isn’t much you can do about that other than to be more interesting, exciting and engaging than the competition.

Did it even occur to you that by giving her your undivided attention, eagerness and massive availability, you placed her way too high on a pedestal and that this, in and of itself, was likely the thing that killed her interest in you.

You already gave it all up! Result? She’s bored – and in fact she should probably get away from you before you get even more obsessed with her and get all weird…

Do NOT Chase Or Act Bitter!

The WORST thing you can do is continue to “text into empty space” after she exited the chat or “left you on read”. This gives off terrible signals – that you are needy, desperate, hooked, and otherwise entirely “in the pocket”. If she’s already got you in the pocket, why is she going to try harder? She knows DAMN WELL that AT ANY TIME she could pick the thread back up and you will be right there – like a doggy at her feet when she clicks her fingers.

She has a hundred guys in this position, maybe a thousand.

And it’s all a complete and utter turn-off for her.

But that doesn’t mean she isn’t interested in men. Oh no. It just means that by being absolutely zero challenge, you communicated low value.

She’s HUNTING for the most high value man she can find! She is looking for the kind of man who already has more attention than he knows what to do with.

You cannot fake this attention. Trying to do so is a spiral of Machiavellian nonsense that will ultimately pave the way for your own ruin.

The Solution?

IMPROVE.

Yep, goddamit – that awful hard work stuff that is boring, painful and leads to tangible improvements. There’s no way round it, pal. Same for all of us.

There are guys who get hundreds of DMs per day from women, sometimes even thousands. Take a good look at their profiles and ask yourself – is your physique as good as theirs? Is your career as on point as theirs?

Is your GAME as good as theirs?

Probably not.

Just the fact that you gave her your undivided attention right from the get-go, signalled that you don’t have anything (or anyone) better to do right now. That’s not a good look, captain. The man she truly desires is one who visibly has options. But his social proof is not “fake engagement”; it is genuine, palpable interest from other women, which affirms what she already senses about him from his demeanour and time management skills.

He doesn’t have all evening to be sitting on some dating app chatting with some girl he barely knows!

Setting The Bar

Once your initial flirting has gone well and she is showing strong IOI’s – and it’s clear that her attention is hooked, it’s time to set the bar and then eject. This is what a very high value man would do. It’s also known as “breaking rapport” and for maximum effectiveness, it should be done at a high point in the conversation, when her state is spiked. It should certainly not be done at a low point. Breaking rapport at a high point naturally leads to her wanting to get back to that high point, which means she will have some anticipation for your next entrance, or even start chasing you – rather than “Oh, it’s this guy again who kept at me until I was thoroughly bored”…

When the state is high, you tell her what the plan is and then you bounce. This typically means, offering a date. Make it clear what YOU want to do and invite her to participate. Do NOT be nebulous i.e. “so… um.. maybe we should hang out…”

Be a man with a plan and a man on a mission. Ask her if she is free tomorrow night (or whatever night it is that you have free).

DO NOT say “any night is fine”. Can you see why it is absolutely GAME OVER if you say that?? You just communicated that you have nothing in your life of substance and value going on and that you would bend to her like a leaf in the breeze. This will NUKE any attraction she still had for you.

And if you aren’t busy?? Then you have some serious thinking to do because you damn well should be busy! Your commitment to yourself and to becoming a high value man should be greater than your commitment to being available for ANY woman! Let that sink in amigo!

You have too much to do for this crap!

Accept The Messages From The Universe. Yes, They Are Meant For You And Yes They Are Being Spoken Loud And Clear

If she lost interest, the simple truth is that you have no value in her eyes, which means you have work to do and you need to get on with it NOW.

After she ghosts, the first question to ask yourself, interestingly, is “How do I feel?” Be honest.

If you feel absolutely fine – genuinely – and there was no “dip in your state” after she ghosted, then you are on target.

If there is another fine lady blowing up your DMs then sure, go chat with her. If you are feeling on point and fully proud of where you are in life, go find another girl to talk to. It’s all good! Some girl blowing you off will not put a dent in your state. Maybe there are some other DMs you can slide into.

If there is ANY dent in your state after being ghosted, this tells you exactly what you need to do. And the bigger the dent, the more you better listen up and get yourself straight.

Finally: Ghost The Ghost

If she ghosted – the BEST thing you can do is to ghost back and get RIGHT on with your life and your self improvement. Do NOT message again. Do NOT view her profile or do any other thing to “remind her you exist”. That shit is creepy and if you keep at it, you are on your way toward getting blocked.

If you steadfastly avoid chasing, the very fact that you did not chase AT ALL – not even once – does actually leave a favorable impression in her mind. It’s a sign of high value. You might – might – get a message back at some point. Probably when you had completely forgotten about it. Isn’t it funny how that goes? I believe there is a primal part of us that can sense when someone is thinking about us – and the fact that you are no longer thinking about her might become obvious – either through some psychic force I don’t understand, or perhaps simply from the nuances.

Anyway for whatever reason – the fact that you really do have other interests than her indicates that actually, you might have some value. Assuming you didn’t kill it completely and chase her all the way out of your life… she might suddenly remember you or scroll her DMs and notice that you didn’t in fact follow up with some weak chasing message at all… “Oh yeah, that guy. I wonder what happened to him? He might have found someone else. He sure isn’t paying me any attention. Maybe he likes her more than me. That’s not ok. Hmm, I kind of want him a bit now. I’ll just message him.”

It’s so odd and paradoxical to hear them say “I want devotion, I want loyalty, I want a man who cares about me”. But you have to remember, she wants those things from the hot guy who isn’t giving them to her. NOT from a mediocre man who is trying to impress her by pushing aside his own personal goals in order to try to impress her.

Can you now see what a fail that is?

The good news is that 99% of the competition has absolutely zero game, too! And when I say zero, I mean ZERO. You ever seen the inbox of a hot girl? It’s fucking pathetic. Seen on Fetlife:

If you can truly absorb, internalize and embody the lessons presented in this tutorial, you will be in the top 1%. Get cracking.

Temper Your Expectations + Level TF Up

BOTH men AND women want someone who is hot enough that everyone wants them, but will also stay loyal.

Good luck with that!

Think about how absurd it is to be that way. Life owes you nothing. You are not “entitled to a girl”! She has options and she has every right to choose consensual relations with whoever she wants!

Rather than DEMANDING loyalty and desire, how about CREATING IT – by being more awesome than the competition?

Rather than whining “These women are all bitches”, how about being so fucking fantastic that she will EAGERLY treat you like a King because she can see that you are a CATCH – and knows that if she doesn’t… someone else will…?

Yes of course, it’s difficult AF. Social media has seen to it that we all have a million options at our fingertips. And so the SELECTIVITY is off the charts.

The competition is incredibly fierce now and you simply have to be better than them… otherwise you get ghosted.

We’ve gone from a dating landscape in which people had a handful of viable options (20th century village or small town, no car, no mobile phone) to a dating landscape in which you can literally find and send a message to probably a billion people.

This shift happened in ONE GENERATION and is completely unprecedented in known history.

In one sense, it’s fucked. But in another sense… this is all part of nature’s rich pattern.

And you have a choice: Level up or lose.

Life does not care. The universe literally does not give a flying F if you get laid or go without.

The sooner you can embrace this red pill truth and start becoming the most awesome version of yourself that you can possibly be, the better for your dating life. TAKE IT UPON YOURSELF and take responsibility for the results you get. Not by the use of force, persuasion or manipulative tactics on girls. But by becoming so spectacular that they are beating a path to your door.

They aren’t beating a path to your door?

Then you know what you have to do.

If she ghosted, blocked or blew you out?

You know what you have to do.

BECOME MORE AWESOME. START NOW.

Learn more: How To Raise Your SMV And Get The Girl

Nobody Cares (But This Dark Truth Can Actually Improve Your Life Massively!)

“You can have anything in this world you want if you give other people enough of what they want.” – Zig Ziglar

This tutorial is probably the most important thing you can learn when it comes to your dating life (and life in general) and can cause the biggest, most dramatic shift in your results.

Nobody cares what you want. They only care about whether you can give them what they want.

This is a universal law and applies to everyone including you. At the end of the day, you are not “a nice guy”. You are an animal (yes, you are a creature, in case you forgot) that has learned to be nice because of the benefits that being nice provides.

Think of a person who you personally consider incredibly attractive. Picture them.

And ask yourself if you would like to be the one meeting their needs, giving them pleasure, and so on. Of course you would. You wouldn’t even think twice about doing whatever it takes to be the one who gets more of them and wins them over.

Now think of a person who you personally consider extremely UNattractive. Would you like to meet their needs so that you can get more of them? Of course not.

Nobody cares. Nobody cares that you are lonely. Nobody cares that it was a year since you got laid. They only care about whether you can give them what they want.

Crisis Or Opportunity?

Now here’s the next important part: While this might at first seem incredibly bleak, depressing and utterly unfair, it can actually give you a MASSIVE advantage in the game.

Because if you can meet that person’s needs better than anyone else, then you get the job. You blow away the competition! Your desired partner is literally all yours.

Once you identify those needs, you know exactly what you have to do.

The biggest part of this that men struggle with a lot, is that looks matter A LOT to women. Just like they do to you! Looks are not the only factor, by far – but genetic disadvantages such as height give you a much bigger hill to climb. Most people don’t want to admit it because it means embracing the cold truth that life is utterly unfair and nature literally doesn’t give a flying fuck if you live like a King or get squashed like a bug.

However, there is a TON you can do to level up your appearance. “Paying the iron price” and cutting the body fat can give you the “Adonis ratio” of shoulder to waist size, which is an instantaneous attraction trigger. It will also enhance your jawline – making it more chiseled when the covering fat is eliminated.

“Being nice” is, honestly, a failing strategy. Being overly nice to a woman, while you might think it’s going to increase your chances (and she will never deny it!) in fact sends the signal that you view her as your best option, which in turn makes her think that she can do better. The guy she is really interested in is the one who has such fabulous options that he regards her somewhat disdainfully. Think about a rock star. That girl you are fawning over is just another girl blowing up his inbox.

It’s another cold truth of the game that the amount of interest you telegraph sends all kinds of signals that are contrary to what you might imagine; and you give the game away in a thousand ways – from your body language to how quickly you respond to her DMs.

And you won’t get any sympathy, either. If you appear heartbroken, it merely indicates that you don’t have an abundance of viable options, which tells her on a primal level that she ought not to kick it with you either! Your sadness over losing her literally pushes her away.

However, do not make the classic mistake of trying to “fake it”. It won’t work. Trust me. You are FAR better off taking a good, long, hard look at yourself, thanking the universe for showing you the hard truth of where you are at, asking yourself if you really are everything that you could be, and making the effort to raise your value as much as humanly possible.

Many will say that being a “6 6 6” guy is the way forward and I don’t disagree. (6 foot tall, 6 pack and 6 figure income). This is a great simple starting point. Do the best you can.

Others (including myself) break down male desirability into four quadrants – “LMSG” (Looks, money, status, game). Sufficient strength in any of these four can get you laid – and a strong hand in all of them will work absolute wonders. All of it is valuable. For status game, read Dan Bilzerian’s book as he has really nailed this one. Money can buy you what you want directly, but remember the old quote about “if it flies, floats or fornicates”. Looks are more important than you realize until you observe the tangible benefits of looksmaxing for yourself, and game of course ties the whole thing together.

If you are height disadvantaged, please remember that it is not the only thing that matters. I know short, not-super-good-looking guys who have scored plentiful big wins with FINE ladies. I have no reason to lie to you about this. But do what you can. Get shoes with lifts.

Her primal response to height doesn’t care about whether you cheated a bit – in just the same way that your primal response to her lipstick doesn’t care that it was painted on. You see those lush, voluptuous lips and you don’t even care if it’s fake – in fact you would say “yes, put your makeup on because it makes me want you more.”

Mind blowing, isn’t it? Our biological impulses are so hardwired that we would rather have fake beauty than no beauty…

Whatever you do, don’t be afraid to stand out. There are all sorts of subconscious thoughts and fears “keeping us in line”. Screw all that. You are 100% free to level up, even if it means leaving some people behind. Accept this as a fundamental consequence of growth. If you grow while someone else stands still, they will not admire your growth so much as be reminded of their own lack of growth.

Start leveling up today. Tons more tutorials on this blog. Try these:

How To Raise Your SMV And Get The Girl

LooksMaxing Tutorial – How To Be The Hot Guy That Women Notice

You Can Still Get Her

But not if you fill all the silences with noise.

Your silence speaks to her just as loudly as your voice.

You think that in order to “reach her” you have to send one more text, and another… and another.

But what does it communicate?

Not what you think it does!

It communicates that you are not centred in your purpose. It communicates that you feel her slipping away and are trying to grab her and pull her back.

But she is a mirror of your soul.

What happens when you try to grab your reflection in the mirror? The mirror breaks and the reflection is lost!

It’s not her that is slipping away… it’s you!

You don’t actually want to grab her. You only think that you do.

What you really want is for her petals to open to you, like a flower opens to the sun’s rays.

And so it’s obvious what you have to do, isn’t it:

a) Become the star that you are.
b) Shine!

You derive your energy from your life and you transmit it to her. That’s how it should be done. That is how you attract. If you try to get your energy from her, she will push you away because she can’t afford to lose it and in fact she needs more! You are the man. Draw energy from your dreams and embody them. This will attract a woman. Trust it. And if she isn’t attracted to that, then move on because she’s not the one! Have faith in yourself!

In music, the spaces in between the notes – the rests – are as important as the notes. It is the silences that give definition to the notes.

It’s the same with your texting. If she doesn’t respond – don’t chase. Never chase. Get on with the work of making yourself so awesome that she chases you!

Captivate, don’t capture.

It’s a weird paradox. The better your life is without her and the less you need her for your happiness, the more she will want you. And so you need to do the difficult task of tearing yourself away from fixating on her and start fixating on you.

You could be more awesome. Yes you could – and in fact I’m willing to bet that this is in fact the exact reason why she’s not texting back. You need to level up. So here’s a pro tip on how to do that: Remember that…

Every. Second. Counts.

If there is one thing I could get across to you in this message, this would be it.
Time is incredibly precious and you only have a finite amount of it.
If you take your sweet, slow-ass time now, one day it is going to hit you. But it will be too late.

She doesn’t want you? Then maybe you need to be better. Take a good look at yourself and ask yourself if you are everything you could be. If you really are the absolute ultra version of yourself. Are you? Are you?

You have a lot to do. There are so many ways in which you could improve.

“But I’m doing everything I can do!”

Bullshit. You are moving at half speed. Would you move faster if there was a gun pointed at you and they were going to pull the trigger if you didn’t? Of course you would! Well, life DOES have a gun pointed at you and one day it IS going to pull the trigger.

You do not have much time. There is no time to waste, at all.

I would even go so far as to say that time management is the single most important factor in the game. How you choose to use your time is everything in this life. Give that some thought.

Instablock

This is just a general piece of advice for all, not just guys.

I am a block button ninja. If the global blocking hi-score chart was able to be known and seen… I might be up there somewhere in the top 10.

If an interaction with someone online is “going bad”… it usually happens in an escalating way. It gets progressively worse until bam, it ends up ruining your day. The key to avoiding this is to nip it in the bud before it gets that far.

I especially encourage women to instablock. When someone starts out trolling you or coming in with bad vibes, they are generally looking for attention. For whatever reason (that is nothing to do with you), they are not getting the attention that they want or feel that they deserve. It’s not your problem, it’s theirs. If they committed to excellence in their personal life, path and goals, they WOULD naturally be generating some attention, due to the fact that they are immediately worthy of respect and admiration. So in truth, the hate they are carrying is very often a reflection of choices they have made or obstacles they have not figured out how to overcome. It’s good to remember this so that you can remind yourself that whatever crap they threw at you is very likely not about you at all.

Don’t reward their bad vibe with attention! Because that sends a signal that “trains them”. Without realizing it, if you give someone attention when they treat you badly, you signal that this is what they ought to do more of.

And so they do. And so it escalates, resulting in them dumping more of their bad vibes on you until you FINALLY block them and leave the computer in tears.

Just instablock at the first sign of anything being weird, remind yourself that it was not about you at all and get back to positive interactions.

Choose and affirm for yourself that you only want positive interactions and that life is really too short for anything else. (It is!)

I also instablock on dating sites. If someone’s pic is “hurting your eyeballs” or the crap they wrote was a massive turn-off, and there is 0% chance you will be interested, you might as well just block them. It saves you ever having to see their profile again, it saves that awkward moment of dealing with them writing to you after getting your profile view notification… etc. It’s just overall efficient. Get rid. Pre-emptive blocking for the win.

There are tons more people out there. The quicker you can discard the ones you are definitely not interested in, or people who are not being cool, the more time you have available for the ones worth your time. Keep it pushing, stay focused on your dreams and I will catch you soon.