Dealing With Rejection

Most men are afraid of interacting with women because of the fear of rejection. This fear is real, huge and can be a massive roadblock, probably the biggest roadblock of all for most. And so they freeze up, don’t approach, don’t say anything, and then even when they do, they are playing not to lose instead of playing to win.

Here’s how to fix it.

Let’s say you meet an attractive looking girl and strike up a conversation with her.. and you just get nothing from her. No interest whatsoever. She may smile politely and make conversation but there are no indicators of interest. Eyes wandering. Flatliner.

Should you be bummed out?

Guys who are not very advanced in the game will be down in the dumps. They had some hopes pinned on it. Hopes that they were going to get something from this girl. That her presence in their life might in some way improve their life.

It shouldn’t affect you.

Ask yourself this: Are you already doing everything in your life that you should be doing FOR YOU? Are you already being all that you can be, for you? Do you like yourself? Is your life awesome? If so, then other people’s opinions of you are invalid. They literally do not matter. If your daily focus is on being the best version of yourself you can possibly be and living the best life you can live – then whether or not some random chick you do not even know approved of you is utterly inconsequential.

If you are thinking that your life is going to change miraculously into paradise because of some girl, you are letting yourself down because YOU should be the one responsible for steering your ship to paradise island. That’s where you are going; girls are welcome to come along for the ride – and they will, if you are on course – but don’t let her steer the ship of your happiness because the moment you do that, she will run it into the rocks and you will be shipwrecked, captain!

You should NEVER look to a girl to make your crappy life awesome, to rescue you from your misery. Because that is SUPER unattractive to girls. It should be the other way round. YOU should be the one with the awesome life. And then girls will see your awesome life and think “I better be nice to him because if I won’t some other girl will because he is awesome.” And then all of a sudden it is ALL different. Whereas before you were a NEEDY BITCH who felt like your life was incomplete without HER (whoever she is), you are now overflowing because you have worked hard to make your life awesome. You will radiate. And THAT radiance is what women like. You will be UNATTACHED and will have what is called FREEDOM FROM OUTCOME. You cannot fake it. She will sniff you out. Don’t even try to break this rule.

Feminine approval should not matter to you in the slightest, because you are already being your most awesome self. And you are doing it for you, not for them, anyway. Some will, some won’t, so what?

Of course that does not mean that you should not make any effort to be attractive. You should make every effort to be attractive. But one girl is just one girl. There are millions. If she is not bright enough to see your awesomeness, then are you sure you really want her anyway? A girl is a girl, which means who the hell knows what she is going to approve of anyway? Her mood is as unfathomable as the ocean – even to her, let alone to you! So enjoy the ride. It is a mistake to put yourself at the mercy of someone else’s whims.

You should be self-evaluating and scoring yourself on how well you are doing in your life. Nobody else’s opinion on that matters unless they are a trusted mentor, who you are actually asking to point out where you can improve. Everyone else can fuck themselves. So long as you are not harming anyone or breaking laws then nobody has the right to tell you how to live your life… and their rejection is irrelevant. You have awesome things to be getting on with anyway, don’t you? If there are no more girls worth approaching in the immediate vicinity, go home and get on with your great life! It really is no loss whatsoever. Another day will come, other girls will come and then when they arrive, you will be even more awesome than you are now.

You should not be trying to get something from her anyway. Thinking only about what you can get from them leads to needy behavior which leads to rejection. You don’t need her and you don’t need her rating! You really don’t.

This does not mean be socially uncalibrated, and just continue with something that she is clearly not into. Don’t do that! This is just about not taking it personally and staying focused.

Rejection only affects you if you take the rejection personally and therefore reject yourself.

By all means use rejection to spot what you might do better, if something becomes obvious. And by all means use women’s reactions to you as a ‘general barometer’ of whether you are succeeding in your own life. But don’t go into a tailspin of negative self talk over rejection. Sometimes the best thing that you can learn is to just move on and not worry about it in the slightest. There are hotter girls, remember. This girl rejected you because she was not awesome enough for you. I have this problem all the time 😉 Seriously though – you are the one who should be doing the rejecting. If she does not approve of you, then that is reason enough for YOU to reject her. That’s the frame! Stop being a pleaser and trying to win her over.

It’s her loss, but her loss is not your problem. Because you should be focused on you. This is what leads to being strong inside and not giving a fuck. That doesn’t mean not giving a fuck about anyone, it just means that you already know in yourself that you are doing just fine, and that their silly opinion is irrelevant. You are giving them an opportunity to interact with you and they are not taking it. So what? Move on.

And you will find that when you reach the point of genuinely not caring whether they approve, the approval rate will go up. This is the beautiful paradox of it all.

Learn to enjoy the interaction anyway, whether or not she approves of you. You can still enjoy the shape of her lips, her perfume, all the things that she is, regardless of what kind of a mood she is in. We call this “breathing in the Shakti”. Enjoy the experience, it will put a sparkle in your eye… and if she inspires you to become more, then use that inspiration to spur your self improvement. And then when it is time to exit, exit with a smile.

Next! Like buses, another one will be along in 5 minutes. 😉

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