Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Are you fun?

It’s a pretty good question to ask yourself.

The key to being fun is to be happy, deep down, with the life you have created for yourself.

Imagine that your “surface layer” – the curated version of yourself you present to the world – is transparent; and that you cannot hide your deep emotional state from her. Imagine that she has the all-seeing eye… and that she can look into your soul… and see whether you are truly happy with your life… and that her choice of whether to get with you was based on that…

Would she get with you?

Are you excited about your life? Are you living an adventure? Do you have bright, fantastic dreams and are you taking the actual steps toward them? YOUR dreams. Not someone else’s, yours. Are you “living your Dharma”?

Fun is simply a natural consequence of a life lived that way.

This is a pretty tough one to take on board but it highlights absolutely what is probably the #1 dating mistake that guys make…

They look to women as a way to solve their fundamental unhappiness.

Trust me, if you do this, you will experience nothing but rejection and bitterness.

If you approach things this way, the energy is all wrong. It’s as though you are an empty cup and you are expecting her to fill it.

It’s needy. It’s demanding. It’s pressuring. It’s uncomfortable. It’s not fun. There are all these requirements and things you are expecting of her.

You are trying to take value, rather than giving value.

Oop. You just got blocked / ghosted.

The key to this is to create the life you truly want first, and then date. Note – you don’t have to be “at the finish line”. But you do have to be on the right track and moving on up. When you are on point with this and you wake up thinking “I LOVE my life”, you cease to be an “energy vacuum” or an empty vessel or whatever you want to call it. You become a “cup that overfloweth”. You become radiant. You become sunshine. So the first step is to dream a great dream – a big, wild, fabulous dream, worth leaping out of bed for. Yes, that dream. That life. That’s it! Now build that.

The “women are like cats” analogy also fits perfectly here. If you are lonely and try to grab the cat and pet it, you will get hissed at, scratched, bitten and run away from. Whereas if you bask in the radiance of the fabulous moment, the cat will jump up on your lap, purring contentedly.

It’s dreadfully ironic, in a way. It’s as though life gives you an umbrella when the sun is shining and snatches it away when it rains. But that’s just how it is with women. If you are winning at life you will catch their admiration. If you need help digging yourself out of a hole, well you are gonna have to figure that one out for yourself pal. It’s how it goes. Don’t count on her to make your dreams come true. Make them come true and then she will show up.

Yes, it sucks. Sometimes it feels as though you have to almost kill yourself to carve a life for yourself out of blood, sweat and tears. And then all she has to do is to show up looking cute and say “hi”. But that’s how it is for a man. You don’t get any points for how hard you tried or how easily it came to you or didn’t come to you. You just get points for winning. And you won’t get any sympathy either so don’t even try to appeal for any. It’s not her problem and you should NOT attempt to push ANY of that responsibility onto her! You are the man!

The #2 mistake is thinking that you have to be a certain thing (self-objectification) in order to pull. If you create an artificial persona, try to turn yourself into something or someone that is not really you, it puts you deeply “out of state”. You’ll be unhappy on the inside, despite the veneer of success.. and it won’t wash.

If you try to “fake being fun” – and make a show of it in order to catch their attention – you will get found out. You will get busted. She will see through it.

You have to first get absolutely clear on the life you want. Yes, I know. You want a life full of beautiful women. But you have to remember that they are free spirits and they are either attracted to your vibe or they are not. If you are just an emotional black hole that is needing to be filled… they will not be attracted to it! Plain and simple!

Note carefully – create the life you truly want. This does not mean “the life society thinks you ought to want”. It means the life that YOU, deep inside, truly want. The “ultra” version of your life. It’s not superficial. It’s not sitting on the couch eating potato chips. It’s not just having a big pile of money and a career you wish you could get away from. She’s allergic to all that stuff. It’s you living your dream adventure and building that up from dirt with your bare hands.

When you live true to your vision, comfortable in your own skin… confidence, charisma, charm and fun are natural consequences. It all becomes effortless.

Create YOUR dream life. For YOU. Not for her, or for anyone else. And then invite her along for the ride.

Another key to being fun is to get all of your BS handled and out of the way. If you have a million stressful, unhandled things on your mind, it’s hard to free up on the inside and be in your natural flow space. Get your shit done. Read this: How To Handle Logistics: A Five Step Plan To 10x Your Pulling

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