How To Recognize IOIs (Indicators Of Interest) From Women + List Of IOIs

How To Recognize IOIs (Indicators Of Interest) From Women: This is something of a follow-up to my last post The 3 Second Rule – which is about seizing the moment. In order to take effective action, you first need to be able to read the situation correctly. In order to seize the moment you must first read the moment!

When it comes to IOIs – Indicators Of Interest – most men are clueless. They literally cannot tell when a woman is into them. I certainly was utterly clueless about this, when I was younger. I mean, ridiculously so. Then I studied game and it all started making sense. It also makes things fun as hell when you get this. This is one of the most valuable topics in the game you could study so pay attention! Learning whether or not a woman is interested in you is valuable and even important. Women will not often tell you directly but I can promise you that they all wish men would “just get it”.

It’s very interesting how this works and once you do get it… it is life changing.

The thing that most men don’t realize, really, is this: Men and women have a different “subconscious language”. They don’t find it perfectly easy to read each other’s “subcommunications” – especially men. Women in general are much more attuned to subcommunications – the non-verbal part of the conversation – than men.

Why this is, is not perfectly well understood – but I have my theories on it that do make sense. Going back to our ancient primal days, men (especially alpha men) communicate more directly. This is quite simply because they have less to be afraid of. There are less consequences to letting their feelings be known – because even if someone doesn’t approve of those feelings – who is gonna do anything about it? The alpha male is generally less afraid thus communicates directly. Now in old times, women, being physically smaller generally speaking, evolved with a greater need for safety. They thus learned to communicate with each other in more subtle ways. They also needed greater peripheral awareness. Like a songbird in the garden is always on the lookout for predators and will take flight at the slightest disturbance. It’s hardwired.

Anyway – whether or not any of that is correct, women do appear to have a much greater peripheral awareness and nuance when it comes to interactions.

You can learn all this stuff and as a man, it is very much in your interests to do so. Women won’t typically teach you it directly.

If a woman is attracted to a man, she will – contrary to popular belief – very often in fact make some kind of a move first. This doesn’t mean that she will (unless she is bold) open you directly by coming and saying “Hello handsome”. Probably not. However she will do various things – consciously or unconsciously – to signal attraction and catch your attention.

The other thing to bear in mind is that it is generally good to “mirror interest”. In other words, don’t reward lack of interest with continued interest, and don’t reward interest with lack of interest (except in a very specific way of ‘breaking rapport’ – but that is not today’s topic). This is pretty important and one of women’s most common complaints is continued interest from men they have expressed clearly their disinterest in. Don’t do that!

List Of IOIs:

Proximity: You might find her standing near you “for no apparent reason” – pretending not to have seen you but hoping you will notice her. She may also “arrange for your paths to cross”. If you are on the dance floor, you might find her nearby, acting as though she would like to be noticed. This last one can sometimes be tricky to decipher as it might be someone else who is the target, not you. But you can generally somehow tell. And if you start a conversation it will rapidly become obvious. She will either happily give you her undivided attention or she will appear not to want to commit all of her focus to you. Recognize these signs.

Preening: The moment you appear, she suddenly becomes concerned with her appearance? Good sign. The most typical way this happens is through fussing over the hair. They will give it a quick 3-second makeover. The more the makeover, the better the sign. Twirling the hair or fussing over it while talking to you – great sign also.

Eyebrow flash: Both men and women do this and almost all do not notice they are doing it. They raise their eyebrows briefly upon eye contact.

Eye contact: Now people make eye contact during conversation as a habit. But there are certain types of eye contact that are a giveaway: Eye contact, then looking down? She likes you, possibly quite a lot. Eye contact, then down, then back to eye contact, then smile. She really likes you. Eye contact then breaks off sideways instead of down – she is NOT interested or she disapproves of what you just did. Try doing this deliberately and see the effect. Amazing isn’t it! But the most classic sign to look for is a certain “gaze” that females do when they are smitten. It’s unmistakeable when you recognize it. It’s a sort of starry-eyed, wide eyed look of adoration.

“Casing you up” when you aren’t looking: Women are super-fast ninjas at this and most men do not even realize when women are checking them out. She will scope you out within 0.2 seconds and you probably won’t catch her doing it. Start using your peripheral vision and clocking whether she is checking you out. The more times she glances at you – the better the sign. You can sometimes use a window as a mirror to catch them looking. If you have crappy eyesight – you are going to have a much harder time here too. Have a female friend (a trusted one, not a cockblocker) roll with you and ask her to tell you when women are checking you / into you. Because women will notice this stuff way faster than men. She can help train you and it’s a fun game. Note however that when you are with a woman, other women will check you out more in general. So this exercise can skew the amount of interest you get; but it can help you learn to detect when it’s there.

Undivided attention / Quick responses: If she texts, and you forget to text back, and then two days later you text back and she answers in 5 seconds. Very good sign. If she is willing to drop everything and roll with you – very very good sign. If she makes excuses, seems unresponsive etc – don’t make too many assumptions but almost certainly it’s not a great sign.

Dressing Up For You: If she makes a big effort to look good for you, it’s a very good sign. The more effort she makes, the stronger her interest. There was one girl, one time who literally locked herself in my bathroom “the morning after” for over an hour doing her makeup before she would allow me to see her face. She was fine AF even without the makeup but she wanted to be like bam! Massive IOI! Contrast with the girl who is gone before you wake up… or the one who knew you were coming by and opens the door looking like she doesn’t even care…

Alone with you: She was with her friends, then you came along, and you two started chatting it up. The next thing you know, all her friends left you to it? Very good sign. Either she indicated to them to push off when you weren’t looking, or they already knew she was into you and that it was time to leave you to it. Girls will generally watch each other’s back and will not leave their girls alone to “fend for herself” with a man that she is not into! In general, if she arranges or steers things towards some kind of situation where she is alone with you? Very good sign. She might well try to make it look like it was accidental and “just happened” – yeah right! On the other hand, if she seems uncomfortable with the idea of being alone with you / makes effort to avoid it? That’s a sign of disinterest. If her friend comes along out of nowhere and says “We have to go to the bathroom now, bye!” – you are done. She secretly gave the “rescue me” signal to her friend, who dutifully obliged. It’s just part of the pact that women everywhere have with each other. Move on and let it go, it’s over.

Closed or open posture? Arms folded, looking around the room, not smiling – not a good sign. Don’t reward that. Physically open, facing you, sticking her chest out at you – it’s looking good.

Touching you: Very good sign. If she touches you for any reason other than strictly necessary – good sign. If you are facing the other way and you feel her touch you to get your attention – good sign. The more sensual those touches, the better! If when talking she comes in real close, brushing her body against you – great sign. Again, she might or might not make some effort to make it appear ‘accidental’. It’s fun to ask yourself if it was an accident. It probably wasn’t.

Compliance: If you hold out your hand casually as if to say “take my hand” and she eagerly takes it – good sign. If she gives your hand a “knowing squeeze”, even better. If she just sits there with a dumb look on her face, looking at your hand like “what TF is that doing there?” – not so great. If you “lead” her in some way and she eagerly follows – good sign. If there is resistance – don’t keep pushing, back off.

Excitement: If she seems excited, smiley, happy, eyes sparkling when you start giving her attention – great sign.

Girly Voice: If her voice goes up to a higher pitch and becomes more of a sensual, feminine ‘bedroom voice’ – I’d say it’s probably on! Take note of the different voice tones people will use when they address their sweetheart to the tone they use for ordinary social or business occasions. Which of those voices is she using with you?

I am sure I will think of more and will add them later but this is a great start. Look back into your recent past and see if you can remember situations where you suddenly realize “Damn, she was into me and I just didn’t see it!” Now you can start recognizing the signs and taking the right action. 🙂

Online IOIs

Instaresponding / Attentiveness: If you write to her and BAM she is writing back in 2 seconds – very good sign. If there are massive gaps in the text, you might as well take it that she’s not ‘hooked’ and has something else more interesting going on – although of course people do have stuff to do, sometimes. But in general, when Mr. Awesome comes along, she will instarespond. Note that sometimes women will deliberately leave a gap to ‘test the water’ and see if you chase. Don’t chase. Send your message and get on with your day or at least have something to be getting on with so that you are not just sitting there like a lemon while she gets chatted up by someone else! Importantly; don’t follow up with another message (ever!) – even if it takes months. Go chat someone else up. You would be amazed, if you do this, at the number of times they pop up weeks later, after having realized that they aren’t going to hear from you again, which in fact raises their interest level!

Questions: Questions, in general, are a very good sign. Questions that include the word “you” are usually very positive IOIs. “You” is a very romantic word for a woman to be using in general. Start noticing.

Emojis and Kisses: Their overall use varies considerably from person to person but generally speaking, if you are getting kisses and hearts in abundance, move things forward.

“Hiiiii’ or “Heyyyyy”: If she is adding extra i’s on her “hi” it’s pretty much a sign of interest – the more the better:

There’s an old joke that if you get to about 5 i’s on the end it means “just fuck me now” and I’d say this is a fairly good indicator of her emotions.

She opened you: If you get “opened” by a woman online i.e. she writes first – it’s a very positive sign. Women generally only do this if they really like a guy. If you get opened with “Hey Handsome x”, or this is her first message of the day to you, then it is on like Tron my friend. “Hey handsome” is woman-code for “I’m really into you, arrange a date with me asap please and sweep me off my feet”.

“Good morning”: If you were chatting the day before and you get “Good morning” – just a sweet message that is “being nice for no reason other than being nice” – she’s thinking of you. Very strong IOI. Ask this woman on a date now (assuming you want to of course lol).

Any reference to liking how you look, or liking you in your pics: She’s attracted to you.

Number drop / another way to get hold of her: This one is not necessarily an IOI. Either she likes you, or she’s about to try to sell you some nudes. If you got a number drop without a profile view – psssh, this is very possibly a scammer / sales tactic. Especially if it seems like a copy-paste message that doesn’t have any personal reference in it at all.

This is a real IOI:

NOTE OF COURSE: that any of the above can become null and void at any time! Just because she was giving you this vibe one day, doesn’t mean she is going to feel the same way the next day at all. All of her emotions are in the moment and are valid for that moment only.

No Comments

No comments yet.

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a comment