Making A Move (When To Kiss Her) And Initiating Kino (Touch)

First Kiss

If you are hanging out one-on-one and things “seem to be going really well, but you are not sure whether or not to make a move” – generally speaking, you can go in for the kiss. In general, sooner is better.

But do it right!

Not too suddenly!! No and no!! Slow and playful is good! Move in slo-ow. Be having FUN. Not “trying to take something from her” – although you do of course want to do… many things. And so you just cannot resist… flirting… and enjoying the wanting. Look in her eyes mischievously, like “Can you tell what I’m about to do”? She will pick up on that and you will KNOW whether she wants you to do it. If you get within 6 inches, look at her lips and then back at her eyes and it’s obvious what happens next, you will get a reaction without actually doing anything you could be in trouble for, which will give you all the intel you need. If you are face to face and get “the triangle” look – one eye, then the other eye, then your lips, then a smile, it’s game fucking on. Move closer. Allow your lips to part as you look at hers. Do her lips part in response to yours? If so, you’ve got her where you want her. Make her anticipate it more. Make her want it. Make her earn it. Make her put her arms around your neck in helpless magnetism. Then kiss her.. and enjoy to the utmost that you are able to, the electric, incredible sensation of the first moment your lips touch.. and then the second.. and then every time afterwards.

“The right way to do it is to do it, do it, do it til the feeling’s gone.”

You can also ‘fake kiss’ for fun – move in seductively as though you are going to kiss her passionately and romantically, and then when she melts, her lips part and her eyes close, boop her on the nose gently with your fingertip and say ‘got you’, and then when she pulls away and smiles, outraged, pull her back in and then kiss her properly. You can also “deliberately miss her mouth” with a last-minute swerve. Be playful! And revel in anticipation. Anticipation is an entire universe for women! It is not the default world for men, but explore it… understand how much it matters to her and you will score many points!

At every step of the way, be attentive and note her reaction to your moves:
Wide eyes, dilated pupils, smile, melting into your arms, her hands finding new places on your body = go.
Hesitation, nervousness, discomfort, hands taken off you completely, arms folding protectively over her body, looking around nervously (she’s probably signaling to her GF to come “rescue her”) = stop.

Back off if she wants you to back off. And if she wants you to step on the gas, step on the damn gas my friend. But this should, above all, be FUN – and if you find that you are just not being drawn more deeply into your sense of fun and mischief by her… if you find yourself not actually liking her as much as you thought you did… pull over. You might want to just give this one a miss. Listen to yourself. It may be that something else is calling you and that you should follow that call instead. Life is a dance and you must follow the dance where’er it leads…

If she indicates either verbally or non verbally you to cool off… don’t necessarily assume it’s all over. She might be testing a bit to see if you will respect her boundaries and take things at HER pace. You might have gotten a bit overheated 😉 and your temperature rising faster than hers. She might still really like you! Tune in to her. If she’s still hanging out with you, one on one…. she’s probably still interested! If she says she wants to go home – you should definitely take her home, or call the cab, or whatever. But for the love of God upon the earth… make sure she gets home safe. That’s the only gentlemanly thing to do and if there is only one thing you take from this page, this would be it!

So you have to understand that “last minute resistance” is different from “no thanks” and you need to be able to navigate it. Some girls will give zero resistance, some will put up roadblocks that they WANT you to skillfully navigate, and others want you to back the fuck off. Pay close attention and get it right!

The great thing about this is that going in for the kiss is “safe”, generally speaking. It sure is safer than going in hands first. The worst you will get if you go in for the kiss at a pace that gives her the opportunity to bail if she wants to is a pullback / turn away / excuse.

If she flat out refuses the kiss, like stone cold – especially with a hand up in the “stop” gesture… and looks mortified… that’s a “strong rejection” and it’s time to man up, admit to yourself that you cocked up (hey we all do), go home, forget it and self-improve.

Don’t grab. Don’t sulk. Don’t pressure her!!! ENJOY the fact that life has shown you that you need to improve. Learn! Be cool with the journey of life and its ups and downs.

It’s very obvious, once you understand. If you get eagerness, then proceed. If you get reluctance / resistance, don’t. And if she doesn’t want to kiss you then it’s a safe assumption that she doesn’t want anything else either!

First Touch

For the ultimate in style, offer your hand (palm up, in front of your body; either gracefully, with a VERY subtle flourish or somewhat assertively, depending on your style) without saying anything, but with a sort of cool eye contact that says “take it”. She will either take it (good) or sit there looking at it with a sort of “what are you doing?” look on her face (bad, unless she’s bluffing you for fun). If I offer the hand and she doesn’t take it, and there’s a ‘flatliner response’, I pretty much eject – because there’s no vibe.

But timing is important. You are inviting her to follow your lead. This is an entirely socially acceptable gesture and what’s cool about it is that you are initiating touch without actually touching her. You basically cannot get slapped for it and it’s just overall cool.

When a woman is really responsive, likes you and is attentive to your cues, you will get “ready responses” to gestures like this. Offering the hand is classy and sets you apart as a gentleman with style. If she isn’t down, save your time – and if there is something for you to learn, learn it!

The learning never stops, as far as I can tell…

Active Touch: Any sort of selfish grab or “stolen” erotic touch is not ok and could get you in a lot of trouble. And you don’t even need to do it, so don’t be an idiot! Learn which are the “socially acceptable” places for early physical contact – hands, shoulder, upper back, arms, hair and hugs are probably ‘safest’- and the response will give you a ‘temperature reading’. If the water is warm, proceed – at her pace. Savour the moment!

For even greater “safety”, yet still clearly indicating your intentions, is to touch her lightly on the back of the hand – this is one of the most respectful of touches. Don’t linger too long – and “accept” her reaction as something that is perfectly within her rights. You are not trying to trap her. You are trying to invite her to become more free…


If You Are Hugging: There are different kinds of hugs, learn to recognize them.

• If she gives you the pitty pat on the back – not a good sign. An indicator of disinterest.

• If she ‘releases’ (it’s obvious)… the hug is over. Do not cling on!! 🙂

• If she just holds on and doesn’t ‘release’.. stay in there. She may just want comfort, in which case just be comforting. But this is a fairly good sign. Let her just bask in this space for a little while. The longer she holds on to you, the better a sign in general. And pay attention, because you may sense a shift in the vibe. If she seems to be getting more into the hug, the longer it goes on… she probably wants you.

• If she’s getting turned on, you will feel a certain “feeling” that’s hard to describe in words, but you know it when you feel it. I call it “the shift below” in reference to Carlos Castaneda. It kind of feels like that. Like something just started melting 😉 Something in her energy moves down in her body. She might seem hotter to the touch, like her body just got a glow of heat (it did). She may push her hips in to you more. Game on.

• If she is still holding you and moves her face right in front of yours, I’d say that’s a definite kiss-me-now move. If she is hugging you and not letting go and makes eye contact – same. Make your move amigo.

First Erotic Touch

There are situations in which the first touch can be an erotic one, but that is more advanced – and I am quite hesitant to write this because I absolutely do not want to cause problems. First of all, don’t be a pillock. You have to be a pro at reading the vibe before you even attempt erotic touch, otherwise big problems. The time has to be right – for her. Don’t be selfish. Selfish will not get you what you want and will only bring things you do not want!

The next thing, note that when I say erotic touch, I do not mean erogenous zones. Boobs, bum and pussy are a NO and you’ll get bloody arrested!

If she already agreed to ‘bounce with you’ and the two of you are now “in your own bubble”, then a nice first erotic touch is a fingertip. NOT a grab! Just the tip of the index finger, traced softly on her arm, shoulder, back, hand (palm or back of the hand) or hair. And this is enough! Enough to know whether she is feeling the vibe or not. Enough to say ‘this is where this is going’ and give her the opportunity to jump out if she wishes. If she seems to come alive, maybe shakes her hair free and becomes more attentive and interested… proceed. She’ll let you know!

If you did everything else right, you will start to turn her on with this touch. It can be a very electric moment if done well. I once did this fingertip touch across a girl’s bare belly, the first time I touched her. Extremely daring. I wanted her like crazy and the vibe was ON. She had a short top on exposing her belly. I traced my index finger tip across it as we were standing together, looking at each other… a super light and soft touch, like silk – and the reaction was instant arousal. She LOVED it and cried out “Ohh yummmmy!!!” It spiked her arousal so much it took me by surprise! And oh man, the way she kissed me. I could have died and gone to heaven. Not recommended until you are a ‘pro’ – and ONLY when the vibe is SUPER ON should you do more daring / exciting things like this. NEVER before she has agreed to “go one on one” with you and it’s just the two of you in your own world. And ALWAYS at a pace that gives her the freedom to de-escalate in comfort if she wishes to! Be very attentive to signals and cues, be respectful AF and SENSE when it’s time to move forward or back.

Be man enough to accept her signals (they are all gifts!) and to adjust accordingly with either development or graceful withdrawal. Like any other sports game, you accept defeat gracefully! And sometimes, just sometimes, if you accept rejection with perfect grace, it will charm her and she will want more of you – because who is that classy, really? Not that many people.

Grace is the ultimate rock star quality, at the end of the day…

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