Own It

She dumped you / ghosted you / is ignoring you / is treating you poorly / etc?

Maybe it’s not “because she’s a bitch”.

Maybe it’s because you screwed it all up.

The flower opens its petals when the sun’s rays fall upon it.

Maybe it’s just like that with her. It’s a very good way to look at it. Women are “elemental creatures”. Girls just wanna have fun. When the sun shines, she wants to bask in its rays.

Or as a beautiful female friend of mine once said, in reference to dating – “I want to go swimming where the water is warm, not where there are shards of ice floating around.”

She ditched you and it hurts?

What hurts?

The fact that you are not all that you should be, and she just revealed that to you.

Own it. Face it. Don’t push it off onto her and carry on being the idiot you were being.

Quit the denial. Take it on board. Yes it’s tough. Growth is painful.

Your game wasn’t smooth. Your look is not magnetic. Your affairs aren’t in order. You put pressure on her. You projected your unhappiness with your life onto her and expected her to solve that for you.

Does the sun start shouting at a flower from behind the clouds “Open your petals, bitch! How dare you treat me this way!”?

Can you imagine anything more utterly ridiculous than if it were to do that??

No. It simply has its shit together. It shines. Flower opens.

So now imagine that it’s always like this, with women.

If she flaked, ghosted, ignored you, treated you coldly etc. Why do you think that was?

Own it. Accept the “divine truth” that the universe has shown you. And it’s true meaning:

You have work to do. Real work. Work on self transformation. NOT self pity. NOT self abuse. Work. Difficult stuff that needs to be done that will make your life better. Get cracking.

It’s actually a beautiful thing that the universe has given you this “divine feminine mirror” to show you a perfect reflection of yourself. When you are able to look in that mirror, and understand that the way she is treating you is entirely a reflection of the way you are living, and to accept that insight with gratitude; then you are on course.

This intel, in the end, is what will give you real confidence. Think about the mirror in your hallway or bathroom. You have absolute faith that when you stand in front of it, your reflection will be there.

The mirror gives you perfect clarity. Do you shout at the mirror “You motherfucker! Make me feel good!” No, you accept what the mirror is telling you and you take action accordingly.

It’s the same with women. Your life is your responsibility and the way the women in your life react to you is ultimately on you.

And when you really have it going on, you will have abundant options – so get that handled first and stop looking to her as though she’s your only hope. You are your only hope!

Conveying Value

Just to round out this quick tutorial – there are bound to be circumstances in which you find yourself thinking “I have all this value and she just doesn’t see it“.

There are a few things to unpack here.

1) Nobody cares and why should they. Just because you think something is valuable, why should she? Isn’t she allowed to decide for herself what is valuable? Why not learn about her and appreciate her, without judgement. She likes what she likes and if you don’t like that, you don’t like her, so let her go.

2) Are you really as great as you think you are?

3) Are you arranging circumstances in such a way that your value is actually demonstrated? Imagine a musician – a fantastic guitarist – who sits at home alone, playing better than anyone else in the world. But never actually gives a concert. And then gets upset when he has no fans. Having value is one thing, communicating and giving that value is another. Are you truly sharing your gifts? Or, to put it more bluntly as Rosebudd did – “She don’t know shit about your style until you bring it to her ass.”

4) Maybe she just has other crap going on in her life aside from you. Cut her some slack. And instead of fretting, you can spend your time becoming even more awesome. It’s really ok to be even more fantastic, you know. 😉

5) Not everyone in this world is going to get you. Even the best guitarist in the world isn’t loved by everyone. But if you are truly on point, you will have an abundance of options. If you see her as your only or your best option, what does that say? That there are no other girls of her calibre in existence? That’s ridiculous. The reality is that they are out there – but you can’t get them and so you cling to her like a piece of driftwood. Which is in fact an appropriate metaphor because it indicates that you are drifting, rather than being the captain of your ship, sailing the high seas and heading for the paradise island.

6) Finally – is she being negatively influenced? There are two aspects to this a) personal interference b) society influence.
Be sure that there is no-one running interference in your life. Read Removing Manipulative People, Cockblocks, Cunts And Swindlers From Your Life.
Society has its own imperative to train the thinking of people and well, you just have to be such a strong force for good that you override it. So when it comes to interference, yes, be sure that it is not happening, but for the most part, focus on your own self improvement and have faith that in the end, positive qualities will win out.

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